Wednesday, September 28, 2016

Only now does it occur to me... AMERICAN PSYCHO (The Novel)

Only now does it occur to me... that infamous Bret Easton Ellis alter ego "Patrick Bateman"––a Jason Voorhees/Gordon Gekko-hybrid and misogynistic serial murderer who probably attends underground yuppie Kumites, a character who notably masturbates to the murder-drill scene from BODY DOUBLE, classifies THE RETURN OF BRUNO as his favorite compact disc, and weeps through episodes of ALF––worships at the altar of Donald Trump. And we're not talking a "harmless pop culture cameo" like in HOME ALONE 2: Bateman, the untethered id of the THEY LIVE generation, literally idolizes Trump, between his Big Brother-ish branding of the moneyed cityscape and his amoral personal instruction in the (ghostwritten) THE ART OF THE DEAL. In a way, Trump is the character's mentor, his greatest ambition, his source of comfort. The Trump name merits twenty-seven mentions throughout this 1991 novel––once every fourteen pages. Here are ten of them:

10. "...best of all, The Patty Winters Show this morning was in two parts. The first was an exclusive interview with Donald Trump, the second was a report on women who've been tortured." (p. 256)

9. "I pause, unsure of what to say, and come up with 'Futility... is hard to deal with.'
I am thinking about nothing. It's silent in the office. To break it, I point out the book on top of the desk, next to the San Pellegrino bottle. The Art of the Deal, by Donald Trump.
'Have you read it?' I ask Kimball.
'No,' he sighs, but politely asks, 'Is it any good?'
'It's very good,' I say, nodding. (p. 276)

8. "'We're going to a party Donald Trump's having,' I lie.
'Big fun. Very big fun.'
'Donald's a nice guy. You should meet him,' I say. 'I'll... introduce you to him.'
'Really?' Sean asks, maybe hopefully, maybe not. (p. 229)

7. "'Thirty bucks at the door apiece is not exactly slumming, Evelyn.' Then I ask, suspiciously, 'Why wasn't Donald Trump invited to your party?'
'Not Donald Trump again,' Evelyn moans. 'Oh god. Is that why you were acting like such a buffoon? This obsession has got to end!' she practically shouts. (p. 194)

6. "'Is that Donald Trump's car?' I ask, looking over at the limousine stuck next to us in gridlock.
'Oh god, Patrick. Shut up,' she says, her voice thick and drugged." (p. 93)

5. "'Listen,' she says. 'The Young Republican bash at the Pla...' She stops herself as if remembering something, then continues, 'at the Trump Plaza is next Thursday.'"

4. "'Here.' He reaches into his pocket and hands me a Xeroxed article. 'I just wanted to prove you wrong. Read this.'
'What is it,' I ask, opening the folded page.
'It's an article on your hero, Donald Trump.' McDermott grins.
'It sure is,' I say apprehensively. 'Why didn't I ever see this, I wonder.'" (p. 109)

3. "I look up, admiringly, at Trump Tower, tall, proudly gleaming in the late afternoon sunlight. In front of it two smart-ass nigger teenagers are ripping off tourists at three-card monte and I have to fight the impulse to blow them away." (p. 385)

2. "Faded posters of Donald Trump on the cover of Time magazine cover the windows of another abandoned restaurant, what used to be Palaze, and this fills me with a newfound confidence." (p. 163)

1. "Everyone is very uptight at the concert Carruthers drags us to in New Jersey this evening, an Irish band called U2 who were on the cover of Time magazine last week...  Carruthers keeps trying to placate everyone by telling us that Donald Trump is a a big U2 fan..." (p. 142)

Tuesday, September 13, 2016

Sean Gill's "Have a Lappie with Linda" in failbetter

I have a new short story called "Have a Lappie with Linda," available online at failbetter, one of the web's oldest and best literary publications, and one I've admired for many years. You may read the story online here.

Thursday, September 8, 2016

Only now does it occur to me... A WOMAN'S FACE

Only now does it occur to me... oh, just watch this––it's a little ditty I call "Joan Crawford is Having None of Your Unflattering Light Sources."