Film Review: DEATH WISH II (1982, Michael Winner)

Stars: 4 of 5.
Running Time: 95 minutes.
Notable Cast or Crew: Charles Bronson, Laurence Fishburne, Anthony Franciosa (TENEBRE), Jill Ireland, soundtrack by Jimmy Page. Produced by Golan and Globus.
Tag-lines: "First His Wife. Now His Daughter. It's Time To Even The Score!"
Best one-liner: "He saved our lives dammit! Where we you, giving out parking tickets?"

I could say, like many have, that this is a bleak, disturbing view of crime-addled humanity on the brink of ruin. Instead, I will say that this is a movie where someone gets shot in the face through a ginormous boom box.

But still, there's a lot to be learned from DEATH WISH II, whether you're a two-bit punk, a film scholar, or something in between.

MYTH: It's worth it to steal Bronson's ice cream money.
FACT: No. Cause Bronson is one of those pacifists that will just look for ANY excuse to kick your ass.


MYTH: "We all look the same to Whitey- he'll never pick you out, Jiver!"
FACT: Not true. And when he gets you, he doesn't even need a one-liner, it's just: "Goodbye."






MYTH: Golan and Globus like dance sequences in gritty movies.



FACT: Golan and Globus love dance sequences in gritty movies.

MYTH: Bronson loves orangutans.
FACT: Score one point for Bronson in the eternal Bronson vs. Eastwood battle- Bronson sneers, then chuckles at a theater marquee playing an EVERY WHICH WAY BUT LOOSE double feature. Damn!


MYTH: When Bronson gets hurt, he promptly seeks medical attention.
FACT: He smoothly makes dinner plans with his British ladyfriend (real-life wife Jill Ireland) and hides his arm behind his back as he bleeds out from a ridiculous switchblade gash. After she leaves, he casually dresses it himself and then makes it to dinner, unruffled.

MYTH: When murder and rape are the crimes, only the judicial system may judge.
FACT: Well, according to the trailer, "When murder and rape are the crimes, BRONSON is the only punishment." And that he is. "Do you believe in Jesus?," he inquires of a punk wearing a crucifix. "Yes," replies the wimpering wrongdoer. "Well, you're gonna meet him," intones Bronson before blowing him away. Wow. Four stars. Keep 'em in that little woolen cap that you think functions as a 'vigilante disguise.'

-Sean Gill