Tuesday, February 18, 2014

"Ayn Rand Reviews 12 Classic Movies" at theNewerYork

Some of you may know that in addition to my loves of filmmaking, playwriting, and singing the praises of Jean-Claude Van Damme, I have an interest in literature.  I don't often plug my other publications on this site, but this is certainly a case where the two interests overlap.
 
 Ayn Rand: not a fan of THEY LIVE.

It's a new, satirical piece that's been published by the fine folks over at theNewerYork, it's entitled "Ayn Rand Reviews 12 Classic Movies," and you can read it here.  (Don't worry, John Carpenter earns a mention.)  Enjoy!

 (archived below after theNewerYork became defunct)


2001: A Space Odyssey (1968)  
D: Stanley Kubrick. Starring: Douglas Rain. 160 m.
Synopsis: A sensible computer refuses to indulge five astronauts in their addiction to socialized life support.
Grade: B-

All About Eve (1950)
D: Joseph L. Mankiewicz. Starring: Anne Baxter, George Sanders. 138 m.
Synopsis: An intrepid young woman is vilified for offering a superior version of an existing product.
Grade: A

The Empire Strikes Back (1980)  
D: Irvin Kershner. Starring: Billy Dee Williams, Jeremy Bulloch. 124 m.
Synopsis: After our hero is forced to sell his friends for less than their fair market value, a libertarian paradise among the clouds falls victim to government regulation.
Grade: B

Ghostbusters (1984)  
D: Ivan Reitman. Starring: Bill Murray, Harold Ramis, Dan Aykroyd. 105 m.
Synopsis: Private contractors fulfill a service the municipal government is unable to provide and a shiftless green phantom's ectoplasm-subsidized lifestyle is thwarted.
Grade: A+

It's a Wonderful Life (1946)
D: Frank Capra. Starring: Lionel Barrymore. 130 m.
Synopsis: A suicidal lunatic antagonizes a pillar of the community; his negligence is rewarded with unjustified charity.
Grade: F

Miracle on 34th Street (1947)
D: George Seaton. Starring: Jerome Cowan, Porter Hall. 96 m.
Synopsis: A costumed maniac distributes handouts to unproductive, unemployable deadbeats.
Grade: D

Rebel Without a Cause (1955)
D: Nicholas Ray. Starring: James Dean, Natalie Wood. 111 m.  
Synopsis: A young man's passion for unregulated car racing draws government interference.
Grade: B-

Rosemary's Baby (1968)
D: Roman Polanski. Starring: John Cassavetes, Ruth Gordon, Sidney Blackmer. 136 m.
Synopsis: A highly motivated up-and-coming actor achieves success through innovative means and builds a family in the process.
Grade: A+

Speed (1994)
D: Jan de Bont. Starring: Dennis Hopper. 116 m.
Synopsis: A freethinking idealist strikes a blow against the pork barrel of public transit while satirizing the concept of speed limits.
Grade: A-

Sunset Boulevard (1950)
D: Billy Wilder. Starring: Gloria Swanson, Cecil B. DeMille. 110 m.
Synopsis: A self-reliant woman with extraordinary talent withdraws from a society that doesn't deserve her; later, the law interferes with how she puts her private swimming pool to use.
Grade: B

Taxi Driver (1976)  
D: Martin Scorsese. Starring: Harvey Keitel. 113 m.
Synopsis: A successful small business owner is harassed and ultimately murdered by an ex-government employee with ties to a progressive senator.
Grade: C

They Live (1988)
D: John Carpenter. Starring: Meg Foster. 93 m.
Synopsis: A homeless man tampers with a successful business model and a respected television network suffers property damage.
Grade: D-

4 comments:

  1. Hah! I chuckled heartily at the one for "They Live!"

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  2. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  3. "Is a man not entitled to the sweat on his brow?"
    -Andrew Ryan.

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  4. Mike,

    Glad you enjoyed!


    Lord Horror,

    Though I've never played BIOSHOCK, I have a few friends who are fanatics, and its Ayn Randianisms sound pretty spectacular.

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