Only now does it occur to me... THE FIFTH ELEMENT

Before I post the final installment of "John Larroquette Week," I would like to take a short break in order to razz THE FIFTH ELEMENT a little bit, for no reason in particular.

Only now does it occur to me...  that THE FIFTH ELEMENT can't decide whether it's trying to be:

A. BLADE RUNNER 

(See, we've got Police Spinners and Brion "Wake up, time to die" James–

now simply imagine Harrison Ford's Rick Deckard dressed in an open-backed neon orange tank top

and when he needs to swoop you in his arms and save the day, said arms will be clad in mesh arm-stockings purchased from the raver section of Hot Topic:

Which leads me to...)

B.  A Sci-Fi Channel original movie directed by a Euro Club Kid

 

  

(Hell, the police cruisers even have glow-sticks hanging from their rearview mirrors!)

C.  an episode of IN LIVING COLOR 

(I'm imagining Damon Wayans in the Willis role, Rosie Perez instead of Milla Jovovich,

 

 Chris Tucker can probably stay, and then maybe....

 Jim Carrey as Gary Oldman?)

A., B., or C.?  You decide.  Truly every one's a winner!

Also, "Tiny" Lister is the President of the United States of America.

And all is suddenly right in the world.  Carry on!