Tuesday, May 31, 2016

Only now does it occur to me... BLINDSIDE (1987)

Only now does it occur to me... that there's only one venue where one can see Harvey Keitel with an Abe Lincoln beard playing a washed-up scientist-turned-sleazy hotel manager in a poor man's 80s remake of THE CONVERSATION. That venue is "BLINDSIDE."

From the director (Paul Lynch) and composer (Paul Zaza) of PROM NIGHT, comes an experiment in suspense and watered-down De Palma. Keitel features neither of his trademarks: gratuitous full-frontal nudity, nor extended scream-weeping. (See also: BAD LIEUTENANT.)


For a variety of reasons, just trust me when I say you're better off skippin' this one.
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2 comments:

  1. CannonMay 31, 2016 at 9:05 PM

    All I'm getting from these images is an alt-history vibe where Hollywood had attempted an X-Men movie in the mid 80s, with Keitel as Wolverine. I mean, seriously, just look at him here.

    Director? Well, say, Cameron, Verhoeven or McTiernan would've perhaps been too self-evident; Albert Pyun too schlock. At just the right vintage, I nominate the following:

    Jack Sholder
    Steven M. Lisberger
    Mark L. Lester
    Russell Mulchahy
    Wolfgang Petersen
    Tobe Hooper

    Additional cast:
    Peter Weller
    Meg Foster
    Tim Thomerson
    Keith Gordon
    Brad Dourif
    Cynthia Rhodes
    Sho Kosugi
    Brion James

    and Patrick Stewart

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  2. Sean GillJune 1, 2016 at 11:06 AM

    Cannon,

    I'm gonna give the gig to Mulcahy, I think, though Mark L. Lester would also rock it very hard.

    I imagine Brad Dourif is Magneto and Peter Weller is Cyclops, given he can reuse part of his ROBOCOP visor? I also assume Meg Foster is playing Mystique and that no special effect will be necessary since the camera will capture the subtle reverberations of her insane ice-blue eyes? And if Brion James is Sabertooth, that means we get some nice Keitel vs. James crazy-eye.

    I also think we should throw in Dennis Hopper as a secondary human villain, like a business magnate or corrupt high school principal.

    ReplyDelete