Only now does it occur to me... DIAL CODE SANTA CLAUS (1989)

Only now does it occur to me... that there's more to say about DIAL CODE SANTA CLAUS, a.k.a. DEADLY GAMES, a.k.a. 3615 CODE PÉRE NOËL, a.k.a. HIDE AND FREAK than merely, "it's the basis for HOME ALONE."

While it indeed shares a few similarities with that 1990 John Hughes/Chris Columbus film––both center on a kid staving off a Christmasy home invasion with a variety of toy-inspired booby traps and Rube Goldberg devices––this is a much darker film, a brutal slice of survival horror by way of SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT and CHRISTMAS EVIL, and a paean to R-rated '80s action flicks, from COMMANDO to DIE HARD to RAMBO: FIRST BLOOD PART II.

 

In DIAL CODE SANTA CLAUS, our hero is spoiled rich kid Thomas (Alain Lalanne, who went on to not to act, but to become a VFX producer on everything from THE DARK KNIGHT to THE REVENANT), son of a widowed mother who owns France's biggest department store (Brigitte Fossey, whose career was originally launched as one of the two child leads of René Clément's 1952 classic FORBIDDEN GAMES, which is not an action movie). Thomas spends his days wandering the family mansion, playing RAMBO-inspired games with his dog and nearly blind/diabetic grandpa (Louis Ducreux). It must be noted that even before there is a home invasion, the kid has a series of trap doors, a CCTV system he can access from a Power Glove-looking device, working handcuffs, secret wings straight outta BLUEBEARD (but filled with extra toys and weapons, not dead wives), and an extremely indulgent family who allows his fantasies to bleed into their day-to-day lives. With mom stuck at the office on Christmas Eve, a psychotic man-child dressed as Santa Claus (who was "fired" from his mother's department store earlier that day) launches a full-chimney assault on Thomas' home. 

 

Killer Santa's opening salvo is murdering the kid's dog, and it only gets more savage and complex from there. Along the way, we have montages set to a copyright-skirting clone of "Eye of the Tiger" and more fully-juiced gear-up sequences than in COMMANDO. (I'd almost go as far as to say this is more of an influence on HOOK than HOME ALONE.)

 

 There're cat-and-mouse chases that feel culled from THE SHINING

and an original Bonnie Tyler song which plays throughout called "Merry Christmas." Its lyrics are all over the place and the perfect, head-scratching accompaniment to this violent and existential film. "Happy birthday, Christmas!" sings Bonnie Tyler. "Wanted, Mr. Christmas," she sings. "Help me, Santa Claus." "Welcome holy Jesus." "Kids don't grow up like us, you can change the plan, here comes the darkness." What is this song about?! Who is Mr. Christmas? Is it his birthday? Never mind, here comes the darkness!

Director René Manzor brings a lot of visual panache to the proceedings. He has a real filmmaking joie de vivre which recalls early Sam Raimi or George Miller or Richard Rush. It's very kinetic and beautifully shot, full of unexpected images

 and well-orchestrated action.

I'm curious to check out more of Manzor's work, which includes episodes of HIGHLANDER: THE SERIES and THE YOUNG INDIANA JONES CHRONICLES.

In the end, this is a strong holiday recommend––a strange concoction of dreamlike imagery, hard-hitting action, unhinged 80s madness, and, finally, and perhaps most realistically, a meditation on PTSD.

"Six Authors in Search of a Character, Part 1: Stephen King" in ZYZZYVA

I'm very excited to premiere the first installment of a new essay series in ZYZZYVA Literary Magazine––it's called "Six Authors in Search of a Character" and it will explore the unusual and complicated psychology of writers portraying on screen characters they created in print. Part 1 tackles Stephen King's appearance as "Jordy Verrill" in CREEPSHOW, a role which grapples with identity, addiction, and a "meteoric" rise.

Only now does it occur to me... THAT'S THE WAY OF THE WORLD (1975)

Only now does it occur to me... first off, that there even was an Earth, Wind, & Fire movie. Nice! Secondly, only now does it occur to me... that the Earth, Wind, & Fire movie stars... Harvey Keitel.

 

Er...what?

That's right: THAT'S THE WAY OF THE WORLD has about fifteen minutes of screen-time for EW&F––the audience's key draw to this film in the first place.

Keitel, who plays "Buckmaster" the record exec (this is mumbled on many occasions and definitely sounds more like the BEAVIS AND BUTTHEAD-esque "Buttmuncher"), butts heads with his superiors as he tries to bring Earth, Wind, and Fire mainstream success (in the film, they are referred to as "The Group"). I get that the film's "project" is to realistically show the white stranglehold on the music industry, but so much of the film is just boring dudes chatting in stuffy offices and cocktail parties. EW&F gets, essentially, two concert setpieces––one at a roller disco,

and an arena show meant as the grand finale. The latter, however, is mostly just Keitel bobbing his head awkwardly while he watches EW&F play.

Imagine if CAN'T STOP THE MUSIC was just Steve Guttenberg and no Village People. If A HARD DAY'S NIGHT was entirely Paul's creepy grandfather with a couple Beatles songs. I guess that's the way of the world, or something. As the saying goes:

"Where were you when the stardust hit the fan?"