R.I.P., Dick Miller

It saddens me to report the death of the Bronx's own Dick Miller, one of the most beloved and recognizable character actors in American film history, and one who was as seemingly ubiquitous in 20th Century B-movies as car chases, rubbery monsters, or karate chops. From his star-making turn in Roger Corman's A BUCKET OF BLOOD (1959) to his cranky gun salesman in THE TERMINATOR to an "animal trainer" in Sam Fuller's WHITE DOG to roles in blaxploitation classics like TRUCK TURNER and DARKTOWN STRUTTERS to his appearances in seemingly every single Joe Dante film through 2014's BURYING THE EX, he contrasted his gruff, cantankerous, and occasionally sleazy exterior with a lovable inner life. This was a man who could lend profound, nuanced grace notes to an under-five role as a heckler, a pizza deliveryman, "man in bed," or a thankless security guard.

He had several roles that were so iconic he reprised them: BUCKET OF BLOOD's "Walter Paisley" ends up in CHOPPING MALL, THE TWILIGHT ZONE: THE MOVIE, SHAKE, RATTLE, AND ROCK, THE HOWLING, and HOLLYWOOD BOULEVARD. His role in GREMLINS, "Murray Futterman," even manages to cheat death for a triumphant return in GREMLINS 2: THE NEW BATCH!

We've seen him corrupt Mark Hamill, play David Carradine's brother in a movie that already had Carradine's real-life brother in it, put down riots begun by P.J. Soles and the Ramones, play a crabby trucker who name-drops Joe Dante, swig hobo wine and share a scene with a demonic Billy Zane-as-Hunter S. Thompson, and shill for a fictionalized William Castle––he truly did it all. In his 90 years on this planet, he was in so many films (almost 200!) that there was something inherently reassuring about his presence. This was only intensified by the fact that he, like Harry Dean Stanton, seemed to remain the same age (around 50?) for nearly sixty years. Well, here's to you, Mr. Miller, and all the joy and drama and absurdity and comfort that you gave your audiences across the decades.

Only now does it occur to me... INNERSPACE (1987)

Only now does it occur to me... that I would ever see character-acting legend and scene-stealing nutball Robert Picardo (TOTAL RECALL, THE WONDER YEARS) busting such savagely hip and creepy dance moves, and all in service of seducing America's Sweetheart, Meg Ryan!





Note: "The Invisible Lasso," an essential move in Picardo's dance arsenal.

I saw INNERSPACE on television as a child, and for whatever reason I did not remember much, beyond it being a comedic 1980s update of FANTASTIC VOYAGE wherein an experimental pilot (Dennis Quaid) is miniaturized and accidentally injected into the bloodstream of a hypochondriac (Martin Short).



Dennis Quaid embarks on his 'fantastic voyage' while eating a JELL-O pudding snack and doing some kind of Jack Nicholson/Harrison Ford pastiche.

Upon revisiting, I cannot emphasize enough how anarchic and bizarre a movie INNERSPACE is. Robert Picardo is just the tip of the iceberg––though I must admit that in his minor role as a silky-smooth international smuggler named "The Cowboy," he does his darnedest to steal the entire movie. Whether "Travis Bickling" with a blow dryer:

putting the moves on Meg Ryan:

 

wearing a Speedo and blasting a champagne cork at Martin Short:

or being kidnapped and impersonated by a rubberized (through science-fictioney means) Martin Short:



I guess I'm trying to tell you that it's a live action Looney Tunes episode, a relentless slice of sci-fi mayhem, and a work of good-natured batshittery. In other words, it's a Joe Dante film!

BEHOLD: A villainous henchman (Vernon Wells, "Bennett" from COMMANDO!) with more cyborg arm-appendage weapons than Chuck Connors in 99 AND 44/100% DEAD and "Doctor Claw" from INSPECTOR GADGET combined!


EXPERIENCE: Fiona Lewis (THE FURY, STRANGE INVADERS) as perhaps the most lascivious corporate scientist of all time!


ENJOY: Kevin McCarthy (INVASION OF THE BODY SNATCHERS) as a criminal mastermind with impeccable interior (and personal) design!


FIND CATHARSIS IN: Lewis and McCarthy shrunk to the size of children (or we could say "Good Guy Doll"-size) and handling absurdly-proportioned props!



GAZE UPON: 1980s New Wave nuttery and other optical illusions!


SEE: More terrifying rubbery faces than TOTAL RECALL!




WITNESS: A tearful Meg Ryan cab ride, made possible by none other than "That Guy" legend, Dick Miller!


LOOK AT: A Rance Howard cameo! Just look at it!

 
CONTEMPLATE: A world where Henry Gibson is your bitchy-but-well-meaning supermarket boss!


BE FACED WITH UNSETTLING MELANCHOLY: When the scientist who injects Martin Short (John Hora, Dante's cinematographer) is shot and killed at a mall by Vernon Wells' robo-assassin. As the life flows out of him, he is confronted with the startling image of mall mascots coming to his aid.


He fades and dies, scared and confused. This is probably a good example of what I mean when I say this film is anarchic––but it is emotionally grounded, unlike much of the contemporary absurdist comedy, where many jokes rely upon randomness or anti-humor for their effect. There is an order to this film––a cartoon-logic, if you will––but its anarchy supports the story (also see: PEE-WEE'S BIG ADVENTURE, GREMLINS 2: THE NEW BATCH, WILLY WONKA & THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY, et al.), and it's nothing if not well earned.

I feel as if I've barely scratched the surface of this strange beast. Now, go forth, and rent INNERSPACE!

––Sean Gill

Film Review: MATINEE (1993, Joe Dante)

Stars: 5 of 5.
Running Time: 99 minutes.
Tag-line: "Lawrence Woolsey presents the end of civilization as we know it. Make that... Proudly Presents!"
Notable Cast or Crew: John Goodman (C.H.U.D., THE BIG LEBOWSKI), Cathy Moriarty (RAGING BULL, COP LAND), Simon Fenton (THE POWER OF ONE, A KNIGHT IN CAMELOT), Omri Katz (EERIE INDIANA, HOCUS POCUS), Lisa Jakub (INDEPENDENCE DAY, MRS. DOUBTFIRE), Kellie Martin (TROOP BEVERLY HILLS, ER), Robert Picardo (TOTAL RECALL, GREMLINS 2: THE NEW BATCH), Dick Miller (GREMLINS, THE TERMINATOR, A BUCKET OF BLOOD, CORVETTE SUMMER), John Sayles (novelist and director, LONE STAR, THE BROTHER FROM ANOTHER PLANET), Kevin McCarthy (INVASION OF THE BODY SNATCHERS, THE TWILIGHT ZONE: THE MOVIE), William Schallert (THE PATTY DUKE SHOW, THE TWILIGHT ZONE), Naomi Watts (MULHOLLAND DR., KING KONG '05).  Music by Jerry Goldsmith (ALIEN, POLTERGEIST, GREMLINS).  Makeup effects by Rick Baker & Co. (VIDEODROME, THE HOWLING, STAR WARS, AN AMERICAN WEREWOLF IN LONDON).  Written by Jerico Stone (MY STEPMOTHER IS AN ALIEN) and Charles S. Haas (OVER THE EDGE, GREMLINS 2: THE NEW BATCH,
Best One-liner: "Young lady, human/insect mutation is far from an exact science!"

Ah, MATINEE...  I saw this film for the first time back when it came out in '93, and despite having no idea at the time who William Castle was, I was immediately drawn to the film's layered nostalgia and infectious sense of harmless fun; it's a paean to dedicated showmanship in a scary world.  Probably not before or since has a movie so thoroughly and tenderly explored the life-affirming thrill and ultimate social value of horror cinema––it's about taking yourself (and perhaps a date) to the Lovecraftian brink and back again in a safe, controlled environment; to forget, even for eighty minutes, the considerably less exhilarating, quotidian terrors that linger beyond the limits of the screen.

Equal parts fan service and a sincere coming-of-age, MATINEE is for every lonely kid who grew up on B-movies, late-night TV spook shows, and monster magazines; the socially awkward ones who imagined that Vincent Price, King Kong, and Dracula were sort of their friends.  It'd make a fine double feature with FRIGHT NIGHT, I must say.

Castle's career lived primarily in the shadow––or is that silhouette?––of Hitchcock.  Castle believed they were equals; personally, I tend to wonder if Hitchcock even knew who he was.

Set in Florida during the Cuban Missile Crisis, MATINEE follows movie producer/director Lawrence Woolsey (John Goodman, playing a not-even-thinly-disguised version of the manic, cigar-chomping, creature-feature ringmaster and gimmick-king William Castle) as he brings his new film "MANT" to Key West, forever changing the lives of a few teenagers who are making the transition to adulthood beneath the (anticipatory) shadow of a mushroom cloud.

And God bless William Castle––John Waters has said he'd rather have sat on his lap than Santa Claus' when he was a child––and damned if Castle isn't essentially the halfway point between Santa and P.T. Barnum. Here was a man who playfully threatened to kill audience members in his promotional materials, pioneered the Illusion-O Ghost-Viewer and Ghost-Remover, shoehorned contest winners into bit parts, handed out plastic coins in an attempt to energize cinema-goers, let the audience vote on killing off a character via a "Punishment Poll",  marketed a film (sucessfully) to children about kids who must murder their uncle before he murders them, stuck vibrators on seat-backs and called it "Percepto," used fake life insurance policies to hype in-movie scares, and handed out cardboard axes for a movie where a fifty-nine year old Joan Crawford plays a twenty-year-old (in a flashback).

What Castle called "barnstorming" (following your film cross-country to promote it in person, maximizing the asses in seats like a carnival barker) is Woolsey's bread and butter, and he'll employ every trick in the book to make sure his audience has a once-in-a-lifetime film experience, combining all the joys of live theater, the haunted house, and a boardwalk magic show.

This is all handled expertly by Joe Dante, who infuses the proceedings with equal doses of nostalgia, silliness, and a genuine humanity (that feels as well-earned as anything from masters like Renoir or Altman).  It's pretty damned great.

Without further ado, I'd like to delve into my eight favorite elements of MATINEE:

#8.  The authenticity in storytelling and art direction.  Not being a child of the 50s, I may be way off base, but there's a definite eye for detail in Steven Legler's production design,

and I appreciate little details, like burgeoning teens listening to a Lenny Bruce record

and hurriedly shutting it off when Mom pulls in the driveway.

#7.  And whaddya know––Omri Katz!  The kid in the striped shirt in the above screencap is none other than the star of Dante's EERIE, INDIANA, one of my favorite (albeit short-lived) TV shows as a child.  He's effortlessly likable, and it's a shame he hasn't done much acting since the early 90s.

#6. The in-jokes.  There are more obvious nods, like references to Castle's "rivalry" with Hitchcock; but there are deeper cuts, too––posters for everything from CONFESSIONS OF AN OPIUM EATER to THE DEADLY MANTIS appear frequently in the background, and a fictionalized version of Samuel Z. Arkoff (of American International Pictures) even shows up to the MANT screening!

#5. Cathy Moriarty as the washed-up starlet turned horror vixen; basically she's Joan Crawford in STRAIGHT-JACKET or Barbara Stanwyck in THE NIGHT WALKER.  She gives fewer shits than Bob Mitchum and has her most fantastic bit as the lobby "Nurse" in a nod to MACABRE's mock insurance policies.

She very nearly steals this movie away from John Goodman and a giant "Mant" prosthetic, which is, at the end of the day, quite an achievement.

#4. Dante crony and "that guy!" legend Dick Miller and novelist/director John Sayles as Woolsey's shills:

out-of-work actors pretending to protest MANT in order to amplify the word of mouth (any press is good press, eh?).  It's a classic technique, and one that I imagine the real Bill Castle must have employed at one time or another.  In between the whimsy, however, Dante manages to sneak in a sobering aside about the Hollywood Blacklist.

#3. Robert Picardo as the scaredy cat/wet blanket theater manager, who happens to have a personal fallout shelter in the basement.

Picardo's twitchy demeanor and knack for physical comedy make the character especially vivid, but even as you laugh at his panicked clowning, Dante never lets you fully forget that the man has some valid concerns (it's October '62, after all!) about nuclear annihilation.  (It's the same humanism that allows Dante to give real pathos to character deaths in something like GREMLINS, even though the methods of murder are borrowed straight from the Looney Tunes.)

#2.  The film-within-a-film, Lawrence Woolsey's MANT.

Tonally, it's spot-on––a hilarious mashup of THE TINGLER, PANIC IN YEAR ZERO!, THEM, and THE FLY with perfectly stylized imagery and dialogue.  It certainly helps that he's packed it with B-movie actors from the era, including INVASION OF THE BODY SNATCHERS' Kevin McCarthy

and THE TWILIGHT ZONE's William Schallert (both of whom also appeared in Dante's segment of THE TWILIGHT ZONE: THE MOVIE).

It lives up to the (Castle-styled) hype and is one of the most memorable 'film-within-a-films' I can think of.

#1.  A second film-within-a-film, "THE SHOOK-UP SHOPPING CART" has a shorter, though no less memorable appearance.


Intended to be a spoof of eye-rolling, "safe" live-action children's fare of the era, like THE ABSENT-MINDED PROFESSOR, CHITTY CHITTY BANG BANG, or THE LOVE BUG, it features a sentient, crime-fighting shopping cart and a young Naomi Watts.  Even the film stock and color correction are spot-on––it's clear that every aspect of this production was a labor of love. 

Five stars.  Perhaps one day, some inspired filmmaker will tell a thinly-veiled story of the effect the consummate showman Joe Dante's films had on their childhood!

––Sean Gill

P.S. I also recommend you check out J.D. of Radiator Heaven's nuanced take on the film here!

Only now does it occur to me... BURYING THE EX

Only now does it occur to me... that I should probably offer, as a public service announcement, the casual advice to avoid––even if you are a Joe Dante completist, like myself––his latest offering, BURYING THE EX, a lazy zombie-romantic-comedy that's easily his worst ever theatrical feature.  I don't have the patience to go in depth, but it is a failure of screenwriting, and I do find respite in knowing that Dante has not lost his moxie––in the past ten years, HOMECOMING, THE SCREWFLY SOLUTION, and THE HOLE all are suffused with his lovely and manic energy, and, in particular, I'd put HOMECOMING up there with his finest work.

Additionally, I must rag on BURYING THE EX for deleting the legendary Mary Woronov's only scene and can only offer, as a consolation prize, a screen capture of the eighty-six year old Dick Miller as "Grumpy Cop," a character who gets all of forty-five seconds to mumble about how kids these days are all on meth.

It was good to see ya, Dick Miller––keep on truckin'!

In closing, if there is indeed a God, will you please, please, please let THE MAN WITH KALEIDOSCOPE EYES happen (an as-of-yet unproduced film that Dante has been kicking around for years, a behind-the-scenes biopic on the making of THE TRIP, with the characters of Roger Corman, Jack Nicholson, Dennis Hopper, and Peter Fonda experimenting with LSD while they try to make the movie).  That is all.

Film Review: THE PHANTOM (1996, Simon Wincer)

Stars: 3.8 of 5.
Running Time: 100 minutes.

Tag-line: "SLAM EVIL!"

Notable Cast or Crew: Billy Zane (TITANIC, TALES FROM THE CRYPT: DEMON KNIGHT), Kristy Swanson (DEADLY FRIEND, BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER), Treat Williams (DEAD HEAT, HAIR), Catherine Zeta-Jones (ENTRAPMENT, THE MASK OF ZORRO), James Remar (RENT-A-COP, THE WARRIORS, 48 HRS.), Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa (MORTAL KOMBAT, PEARL HARBOR), David Proval (INNOCENT BLOOD, THE SOPRANOS), Casey Siemaszko (THREE O'CLOCK HIGH, BACK TO THE FUTURE), Samantha Eggar (THE BROOD, CURTAINS), Jon Tenney (MASTERS OF HORROR: HOMECOMING, TOMBSTONE), Patrick McGoohan (THE PRISONER, SCANNERS, SECRET AGENT).
Screenplay by Jeffrey Boam (THE DEAD ZONE, LETHAL WEAPON 2, INDIANA JONES AND THE LAST CRUSADE, THE LOST BOYS).  Second unit directed by legendary stuntman Vic Armstrong (RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK, LIVE AND LET DIE, SUPERMAN, BLADE RUNNER, BRAZIL, RETURN OF THE JEDI).  Produced by Robert Evans (CHINATOWN, MARATHON MAN), Alan Ladd Jr. (BRAVEHEART, VILLAIN), and Joe Dante (GREMLINS, EERIE INDIANA), among others.

Best One-liner: "No smoking in the skull cave."

In a familiar, darkened alleyway:

"You know how I've been on a Billy Zane kick?"
–"Yeah, I guess."
"Well check out this one-sheet: look what I finally got my hands on."
–"SLAM EVIL?"
"No, THE PHANTOM!"
–"Well, it looks like it's called SLAM EVIL."
"No, it says THE PHANTOM.  See, down there."
–"Yeah, exactly.  It's all the way 'down there.'  So this movie is called 'SLAM EVIL' and it stars The Phantom.  Wait, is that Billy Zane?"
"Do you listen to anything I say?"
–"Not really.  Is it worth seeing?"
"Yeah.  It's good.  I mean, I use that word relatively."
–"I always assume you do."
"It's no TALES FROM THE CRYPT: DEMON KNIGHT, is what I mean."
–"What could be?"
"Basically, it's a family-friendly swashbuckling superhero flick with a sense of fun and grand adventure.  It's a product of that four or five year span when Hollywood kept making pulpy and/or Art Deco-ish vintage comic book movies that the public didn't really want.  Stuff like DICK TRACY, THE ROCKETEER, THE SHADOW, and the like."
–"I love THE ROCKETEER."
"So do I.  I'm just saying it wasn't a super-tenable business model."
–"So what is THE PHANTOM?"
"He's a 1930s comic book hero who's become one of the best-selling and longest-running characters of all time. He's been the subject of serials, TV shows, video games and the like.

He's basically Indiana Jones combined with the Lone Ranger and DANGER: DIABOLIK.  And that ranks pretty high in my book."
–"I like Indiana Jones."
"Well, good, cause this thing is packed with Indy references, in no small part due to the participation of Jeffrey Boam (co-writer of LAST CRUSADE) and Vic Armstrong (stunt coordinator and Indy double for the entire trilogy).  There are fedoras; rope bridge scenes;

 Though this is a little more SORCERER than TEMPLE OF DOOM.

missing artifacts with magical, face-exploding powers; there's scenes where a talisman points the way on a map with a colored laser:

 From RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK.

 
 From THE PHANTOM.

similar locales and production design:
 
 From RAIDERS.


From PHANTOM.

and there's even an extended truck chase scene that features some of the exact, blow-by-blow choreography from the classic one in RAIDERS:



And one moment, with floating CGI skulls:
 
 almost prefigures the finale of an Indiana Jones movie that shall remain nameless."
–"Wow.
"Yeah."
–"I remember a way's back, you were trying to make the case that Billy Zane's eyes and eyebrows were the true stars of TITANIC.  How are they here?"
"Well, it's like how in CYBORG, we meet Van Damme's isolated leg before we even meet Van Damme.  Adhering to that logic, we naturally get an extreme closeup of Zane's gaze before we see the rest of him."

–"I think he can see into my soul!"
"Yeah, he can.  Also, speaking of TITANIC, there's a scene here where The Phantom pops up in a ladies' locker room on a boat– and promptly apologizes to the damsels."


–"Billy Zane being chivalrous on a boat... now I've seen everything!"
"Exactly.  He's a very polite superhero, not unlike, as I said, The Lone Ranger, Superman, or perhaps Adam West's take on Batman.  Here he is, taking a moment out of an action sequence to pick up and return an old lady's purse."

–"Very nice."
"Also, he gives Kristy Swanson some black pearls in a scene eerily reminiscent of when he gave Kate Winslet 'The Heart of the Ocean' in TITANIC."

–"Kristy Swanson!  I had quite the crush on her, back when I first saw DEADLY FRIEND."
"Yeah, well now you can relive that torrid affaire de coeur all over again."
–"So wait, exactly what the hell is going on here?"
"It's a bit of a hodgepodge.  There's evil international corporations, vast pirate conspiracies, magical skulls, tribal sorcery, gunplay, horseplay, swordplay, wordplay, spandex-play..."
–"Who else is in this thing?"
"Our big villain is Treat Williams, who knows exactly what movie he's in, and he's knockin' it out of the park.  A typical scene might see him greedily clasping a magic skull and moaning, 'Ohhhhh, baby!'

Conversely, his top henchman, played by James Remar, is so used to playing it straight, he's struggling with the tone a little bit.  He plays it sort of like 'Indiana Jones gone to the dark side,' but it feels occasionally awkward.  Somehow this works in the film's favor."

–"You mean like that scene in TEMPLE OF DOOM when Harrison Ford drinks the Blood of Kali and acts like he's kicking heroin?"
"Let's forget about that for a minute.  He also gets to rock out some 'Gestapo chic' when he's fighting The Phantom in the city.  Plus, his counterpart is a villainous henchwoman played by Catherine Zeta-Jones, hereafter to be referred to as 'CZJ.'  This movie might be CZJ's finest hour."
 
–"Can we not do that?  The CZJ thing?'
"Ohhh, okay.  Anyway, she's out of control and cartoonish, like a secondary villain from CARMEN SANDIEGO.  If she had a mustache, she'd be twirling it.  The beauty of her performance can be distilled in a twenty-seven second video I have entitled 'Kristy Swanson and Catherine Zeta-Jones' Finest Slap Battles.'"

–"Intense!"
"I'll say.  Finally, there's a nice tertiary villain bit by David Proval, a notorious 'gangster-character-actor' whose performances often genuinely scare me."

–"That's all well and good, but it seems to me you're giving Billy Zane the short shrift here.  Is he not Ama-Zane-ing?"
"Oh, the Zane Factor is pretty high.  It's hard to believe this was nearly a Joel Schumacher movie starring Dolph Lundgren–"
–"WHAAAAT?!"
"Yeah, at least he got to make THE PHANTOM... OF THE OPERA, eventually.  Hell, and before that, directors from Joe Dante to Sergio Leone have wanted to take a crack at The Phantom."
–"You're blowing my mind.  Who would have been Leone's Phantom?"
"I could see Eastwood, Coburn, or Bronson, frankly.  But back to Zane.  Yes, he's ama-Zane-ing, or whatever, it's just that the role isn't one of his flashiest.  Don't despair, though, there are some fine moments.  For instance, off the top of my head:

BILLY ZANE WILL LEAP OFF A HORSE AND


ONTO THE HOOD OF A TRUCK, BUT JAMES REMAR WON'T NOTICE FOR HALF A SECOND


...AND THEN HE WILL NOTICE



BILLY ZANE WILL LOUNGE AROUND, HALF-NUDE, TALKING TO HIS DEAD DAD (WHO IS PATRICK MCGOOHAN)



BILLY ZANE WILL PET THE TIGER


(WHO, INCIDENTALLY, WAS PROVIDED BY ANIMALS R US)



BILLY ZANE WILL HITCH A RIDE ON THE UNDERBELLY OF A PLANE, LIKE HE'S ROBERT DE NIRO IN CAPE FEAR



 BILLY ZANE'S THIGHS WILL COME OUT OF NOWHERE


AND STRANGLE YOU


TILL YOU PASS OUT

–"Holy cow!"
"Yup.  Naturally, all of this leads up to a final confrontation where Zane and Williams face off while wielding magical lasers; Williams' emanate from the purloined skull, and Zane's shoot forth from his wicked skull ring.  Consequently, it sorta feels like the end of SPACEBALLS."




 
 
 –"Now that's a thing of beauty."
"It sure is."
–"Oh, by the way– is there smoking in the skull cave?"


"Don't say that too loudly:  Billy Zane's thighs are apt to pop out of nowhere and strangle you unto unconsciousness.  In other words:  no smoking in the skull cave."

–Sean Gill


EDIT:  I just discovered the existence of the following vintage "Got Milk?" ad, and I must include it, without comment, for the sake of future generations.