Film Review: THE HOLE (2010, Joe Dante)

Stars: 4 of 5.

Running Time: 92 minutes.

Notable Cast or Crew:  Chris Massoglia (CIRQUE DU FREAK), Haley Bennett (KABOOM, MUSIC & LYRICS), Nathan Gamble (THE DARK KNIGHT, THE MIST), Teri Polo (MEET THE PARENTS, MYSTERY DATE), Bruce Dern (THE 'BURBS, SILENT RUNNING, FAMILY PLOT), Dick Miller (THE TERMINATOR, GREMLINS).  Cinematography by Theo van de Sande (WAYNE'S WORLD, MIRACLE MILE).  Written by Mark L. Smith (VACANCY, VACANCY 2). Directed by Joe Dante (GREMLINS, GREMLINS 2, EERIE INDIANA).

Tag-line: "It knows your deepest fears."

Best one-liner:  "Nobody built the hole!  The hole has been there since the world's first scream!"

I had pretty low expectations for THE HOLE.  I had seen too many beloved 80s horror directors fall victim to runaway CGI, slashed budgets, and the other side effects of the digital era to think otherwise.   Joe Dante's last theatrical feature was 2003's LOONEY TUNES: BACK IN ACTION, and THE HOLE (despite being in 3-D) struggled to find distribution for nearly three years– neither of which boded well.  Furthermore, Dante's slight contribution to the largely terrible TRAPPED ASHES did not inspire confidence, but, dammit, I should have known better–  he did make it through two seasons of MASTERS OF HORROR relatively unscathed and emerged with one mini-masterpiece (HOMECOMING).  As to THE HOLE:  I'm sorry I doubted ya, Joe!

What we have here is a pretty solid "scrappy suburban kids versus unspeakable evil" movie in the tradition of THE GATE, THE PEOPLE UNDER THE STAIRS, SILVER BULLET, THE MONSTER SQUAD, and FRIGHT NIGHT, among others.  This being 2013, its success is largely dependent on three important elements of faint praise which in an earlier era would not even need to be addressed:

#1.  The kids are not too annoying, airbrushed, or overly dull.


#2.  Bad CGI is kept to a minimum.

#3.  It tries for a sense of childlike wonder instead of corporate soullessness uncomfortably packaged as "cynicism."


[As a side note, I hold it in a higher regard than another recent, commercially successful film that attempted this vibe (SUPER 8), and though that film succeeded at #1 & #3, it failed miserably at #2, its third act revealing the "monster" and becoming a muddle of groan-inducing CGI reminiscent of the TRANSFORMERS films.]

I've always thought that the best kiddie fiction (from ALICE IN WONDERLAND to CORALINE) involves some combination of parallel dimensions and child abuse, and Dante delivers on both fronts, presenting a more mature children's piece.  It's not as good as GREMLINS or EERIE, INDIANA, sure, but it certainly tackles child abuse with a degree of empathy and sophistication that's not often seen– I was recalling the subtle hints toward Simon's abuse in EERIE, INDIANA, the bonds between the boys in EXPLORERS, and the childish sense of menace in Dante's segment of THE TWILIGHT ZONE: THE MOVIE.

A few other things I enjoyed:

Corman/Dante regular and film legend Dick Miller's wordless cameo as an eyebrow-raising pizza deliveryman:


The bits with the POLTERGEIST/TRILOGY OF TERROR/CAT'S EYE-inspired evil clown/jester doll, who, for the most part (thank God!) is a bona fide puppet:



The twisted, cartoonish vibe  of the sets in one sequence, which recall the best of Dante's TWILIGHT ZONE segment, THE CABINET OF DR. CALIGARI, and WHO FRAMED ROGER RABBIT:

And, hurrah: the generally deranged Bruce Dern shows up to chew on some scenery 

as some kind of steam-punk, Christopher Lloyd-ish light bulb enthusiast named Creepy Carl who utters foreboding dialogue such as "Nobody built the hole!  The hole has been there since the world's first scream!"

You tell 'em, Bruce!

Anyway, THE HOLE is not a masterpiece, but it's a fun kiddie-horror flick that proves Dante's still got some grit, guts n' gumption left in him, which is good enough for me.

-Sean Gill

Film Review: GIALLO (2010, Dario Argento)

Stars: 2.75 of 5.
Running Time: 92 minutes.
Notable Cast or Crew: Adrien Brody (THE THIN RED LINE, THE PIANIST), Elsa Pataky (Brody's current girlfriend, acted in SNAKES ON A PLANE, BEYOND RE-ANIMATOR), Emmanuelle Seigner (Polanski's wife, acted in THE NINTH GATE, THE DIVING BELL AND THE BUTTERFLY), Robert Miano (FIRESTARTER, CHINA GIRL). Cinematography by Frederic Fasano (SCARLET DIVA, MOTHER OF TEARS).
Tag-line: "Oscar Winner Adrien Brody."
Best one-liner: "You so selfish! Asshole!"

As a Dario Argento fan, it pained me to hear all of the negative buzz about his latest flick, GIALLO. All I want is a return to form– artful murders bathed in colored light and set to thrumpin' beats by Goblin. That's all I want. Instead, it seemed we had another CARD PLAYER on our hands. But now, having seen GIALLO, I am pleased to report that it is slightly better than the ramshackle shitstorm of derivative torture porn which haunted my most pessimistic nightmares. I'm not sure we can call it good, per se, but we sure can't call it 'horrible,' and that, my friends, is a latter-day Argento victory. Pass the Campari!

There's a lot of, shall we say, questionable material in GIALLO, but I think it's fair to say that there's been something a little cockeyed about every Argento film since TRAUMA, and some would argue that things have been a little off for even longer. For the benefit of the readers who would like this article to have a happy ending, I'll tackle the bad before I tackle the good.

Now, for starters, it's not even a giallo. GIALLO is not a giallo. Let that sink in for a minute. In fact, the title refers to the killer's jaundiced skin ('giallo' is the Italian word for 'yellow'). There're no black gloves, no intricate mystery as to the killer's identity, no artfully constructed murder sequences. Instead, the killer drives a white minivan taxi, wears a hoodie, and tortures and kills his victims in a dingy basement without the benefit of a vivid color pallette or Italo disco.

The soundtrack isn't even done by Claudio Simonetti, who's usually happy to disavow his own trademark style and go the poor man's Hollywood route. Instead, it was scored by a man named Marco Werba, and it sounds like the bastard child of Bernard Herrmann and Danny Elfman. That in and of itself is not a bad thing, but in the context of Argento- known for his morbidly thrilling soundscapes- it's weak.
The opening credits are done in that "twentieth generation rip-off of SE7EN" style that I love so much, complete with jittery, out of focus jumps and a wonky exposure.

How gritty, how authentic! Maybe they should have named the movie GI@LLO or something.

And here's something I never needed to see in an Argento movie-

...

...

...

Well, now that that's out of the way- on to the good. Much like DEATH WISH V: THE FACE OF DEATH, Argento boldy chooses to open his film at a fashion show.

While I certainly prefer the Euro-sleaze of the 70's and 80's (NEW YORK RIPPER, et al.), this'll do, Dario. This'll do.

The killer (played by newcomer "Byron Deidra"...), despite being conceptually hackneyed, is fairly creepy in execution. This scene finds him, um, apparently jerkin' the turkey to some torture photographs he's taken. Note the pacifier.

That pacifier is clearly the one extra push that the scene needed. Of course, this all ties into a childhood trauma, a favorite subject of Argento's.

And what have we here?

Asia Argento dropped out of GIALLO back when it was supposed to star Vincent Gallo, but at least she's around in spirit for a pictorial cameo.

Adrien Brody, our lead and co-producer (who's now suing the production), delivers a solid performance. He's taking things very seriously, which is the way things ought to be taken in an Argento movie. If we'd got some annoying American actor in here playing it for laffs, we'd be missing out on the sincerely surreal moments that naturally emanate from an Argento picture. I.e., at one point he earnestly explains that, as a cop, "my methods aren't exactly by the book."

As he is introduced, the camera pans across his desk, past a New York-style pizza, a baseball, a bat, and a carefully draped jacket with visible text which reports, "F.B.I. Special New York City Department."

In walks our heroine (Emmanuelle Seigner), who immediately asks the question which is burning at the forefront of all our minds: "Are you from New York?"

Emmanuelle Seigner is, as always, pretty amusing and possibly drunk.

[Insert catty comment about the quality of THE NINTH GATE here.]

At one point, she gets to scream "You so selfish! Asshole! ASSHOLE!"

That kinda stuff has always been worth the price of admission for me, but keep in mind that rave is from the guy who gave five stars to MURDER ROCK. But if you draw no satisfaction from Adrien Brody somberly announcing "GOTCHA, YOU YELLOW FUCK..." than maybe you shouldn't be watching Argento movies in the first place.

The body count's low, the gore's not entertaining, the music's off, and the aesthetics are ill-advised, but there's an abrupt freeze-frame ending, in true Argento fashion. Thank God for small favors.

In the end, I have to give it a touch under three stars. And though I loathe to use "not as bad as I expected" as a form of praise, I think that it's applicable here. Though it tries for 'generic, overproduced, Hollywood-lite torture porn,' enough of Argento's wonderful eccentricities shine through to make it worth it for his fans. And even non-Argento fans may find themselves pursing their lips, half-nodding, and muttering to themselves, "that was sort of a decent police procedural."

Film Review: SURVIVAL OF THE DEAD (2010, George A. Romero)

Stars: 4.5 of 5.

Running Time: 90 minutes.

Tag-line: "Death isn't what it used to be."

Notable Cast or Crew: Kenneth Welsh (Windom Earle on TWIN PEAKS, PERFECT, DEATH WISH V, THE AVIATOR, TIMECOP), Alan Van Sprang (LAND OF THE DEAD, DIARY OF THE DEAD), Kathleen Munroe (NCIS, BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE), Devon Bostick (LAND OF THE DEAD, SAW IV), Richard Fitzpatrick (THE BOONDOCK SAINTS, 16 BLOCKS), Athena Karkanis (SAW IV, SAW VI), Stefano DiMatteo.

Best one-liner: "Would ya get some more bullets for this gun?" Better with an over-the-top Irish lilt.

Each time George A. Romero completes a new film (dating back to BRUISER in 2000, I'd say), and before I get the chance to see it, I've already heard the most horrible press- 'George has lost it,' this and that and the other. I get to wondering if maybe they're right, because, in my experience, many brilliant directors' oeuvres have been tarnished by age and a slew of late-in-the-game clunkers... Then I finally see the film in question, and I'm blown away. I'm sorry I ever doubted you, George. SURVIVAL OF THE DEAD is fantastic. It's a grandly misanthropic popcorn picture with likable characters, gooey thrills, terrific atmosphere, and a lot of (subtle) laughs. I haven't watched a new release with a silly grin on my face for the entire duration since Werner Herzog's BAD LIEUTENANT.

George submits, for our consideration, some truly ludicrous situations which, in the context of humorless modern horror, could at a cursory glance seem hackneyed, lazy, or worse. We have a contemporary 'Hatfields vs. McCoys'-style feud and some characters who initially appear to be card-board cut-outs (the 'Lesbian,' the 'Latino Catholic,' the 'Boy'). This is where we get the knee-jerk responses from the crowd who thinks that SAW is better example of the genre than CREEPSHOW. They won't get it. But by the time a squawking bird swoop is used for a laugh rather than a scare, or we receive the revelation that a certain character has an unexpected twin, you should realize what's going on here– yes, George is having a goddamned blast. He's playing with us. I'm reminded of the benevolent narrative silliness of everything from Robert Rodriguez's PLANET TERROR to John Carpenter's IN THE MOUTH OF MADNESS to even Lynch & Frost's TWIN PEAKS. How many times can George tell us that, as a society, we're bigger, dopier, and more despicable assholes than zombies? Well, at least once more!

I don't wish to give away too much of the plot, but the majority of the proceedings take place on an island off the coast of Delaware, inexplicably (and delightfully) inhabited by two rival clans of Irishmen (the O'Flynns and the Muldoons) whose existences are firmly rooted in the 19th Century.

Richard Fitzpatrick is phenomenal as the leader of the Muldoons- with electrifying shades of Lawrence Tierney.

At times, it's practically a Western- a stylistic choice amplified by the use of rural weaponry, six-shooters, and other vintage firearms. In a way, that's certainly true to the series' roots- one of the most stirring images of the original NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD is that of a Wild-West style 'zombie posse' wandering the countryside, impetuously blowing away the walking dead. Regardless, using the zombies as an excuse to once again point guns at one another, the O'Flynns and Muldoons take diametrically opposing views as to how the matter ought to be handled. The O'Flynns being of the "zombies should be shot in the head" school of thought, and the Muldoons being of the "zombies should be chained up and allowed to carry on in a perverse, macabre parody of their former lives" school of thought.

Wait, WHUTTTTT!?

The little enclave soon finds itself intruded upon by a third party (in the grand Spaghetti Western tradition) who promise to, shall we say... shake things up. The third party in question is a squad of National Guardsmen (led by the excellent Alan Van Sprang as 'Sarge'), who were last seen robbing the shit out of our film student heroes in DIARY OF THE DEAD.

I feel as if anyone who saw DIARY must remember the devilish grin and fearsome countenance of Mr. Van Sprang as he cheerfully relieved the pompous kids of their belongings (at gunpoint). The brief scene certainly stuck in my mind as one of the highlights of DIARY (you can read my appreciation here), so you can imagine my delight when I discovered that he was (ostensibly) the protagonist of SURVIVAL.

There's a lot to like here. The RED camera-lensed visuals are astoundingly beautiful, and the atmosphere is top-notch.

Filmed off of Port Dover on the north side of Lake Erie, we're entreated to eerie, rustic, island imagery reminiscent of Carpenter's THE FOG.

There's slapstick worthy of Buster Keaton (and a dynamite gag perhaps worthy of the Looney Tunes). There's plenty of gore, and many creative zombie kills (which I shan't spoil here, but I will say that if you enjoyed Samuel the Amish zombie slayer in DIARY, you will find a lot to like here). One of my (slight) complaints is the preponderance of CGI gore, but when pressed on it at the Q&A, George revealed that in order to maintain creative control over projects these days, he must adhere to the strictest of shooting schedules, which means no time playing around with elaborate make-up effects that could malfunction and require multiple takes, costume resets, set cleaning, and the like. I'm not letting bad CGI off the hook- not by a long shot- but there certainly seem to be some limitations here that George must choose to live with if he's going to continue making movies in this climate, which marks just yet another dissatisfaction I have with the way that films are made (and distributed) these days. There is, however, a non-CGI reimagining of Captain Rhodes' (literally!) gut-wrenching demise in DAY OF THE DEAD which is certainly refreshing.

Anyway, I haven't even got to the best part yet- allow me to tell you about SURVIVAL OF THE DEAD's ace in the hole, the card up its sleeve, its crown jewel– shaggy Canadian veteran character actor Kenneth Welsh.

You may know him already as TWIN PEAKS' nefarious man of many disguises, Windom Earle. But here, as the sturdy, grizzled head of the O'Flynn clan, he is jaw-droppingly spectacular. He reaches heights of character acting that have been grasped previously by men named Busey, Dourif, and Henriksen. He's no spring chicken, but he can kick your ass- and then he'll say something sing-songily incorrigible right afterward.

It's the sort of cinematic badass whose every action has you laughing- not because it's funny, but because you believe every second of it. His 'viral-video-within-the-film' as "Captain Courageous" is a thing of lunatic beauty:

I don't want to say any more, but suffice it to say, I'm going to begin discovering the minutiae of this man's filmography...immediately.

In all, an excellent, excellent film. Zombie action and other such amusements, melodrama, atmosphere, and with the occasional, unexpected emotional weight to it. And don't be surprised if- when awards season rolls around- I'm still heralding this as one of the best of the year. I can't wait until the next one, George!

SLEEPY-TIME TIME 4 tonight at the Anthology!

You too can be CRUISIN' FOR A SNOOZIN' for only $6 tonight at the Anthology Film Archives- 32 2nd Ave. @ E. 2nd St.- Manhattan, NY. SLEEPY-TIME TIME 4 is presented as part of the NewFilmmakers program, and the screening (entitled "Dark Room Theater- The Second Short Film Program") begins at 7:00 PM and will, in total, run about 70 minutes. Tickets are available immediately beforehand at the Anthology box office. I hope some of you can make it out to see my film!

Sean Gill's SLEEPY TIME-TIME 4 Chosen by NewFilmmakers!

My new film, SLEEPY-TIME TIME 4: CRUISIN' FOR A SNOOZIN', has been chosen by NewFilmmakers and will premiere at the legendary Anthology Film Archives in New York City in 2010. A screening has been scheduled for 7:00PM, January 4, 2010 at the Anthology, and will cost $6. More details to follow.

The nefarious Doctor (Sean Gill) twinkles the ivories in SLEEPY-TIME TIME 4.

From the press release:
Set in a world of urban decay and restless nights, this fourth installment in the Sleepy-Time Time series pits our somnambulistic hero against vast, terrifying, undefinable forces which seep into our world through radiators and cracks in the plaster, slavering viciously as they dance their way into the very fabric of our dreams.