Only now does it occur to me... MUTANTS

Only now does it occur to me... that I've now literally seen Junta Juleil hall-of-famer Michael Ironside phone in a performance.

Indeed he spends more than an hour of this film in the back of a van, earpiece firmly attached, gabbin' on the phone, and occasionally molding his eyebrows into expressions of surprise or concern.  Sorry to see you like this, Mike.

So what are we looking at here?  This is MUTANTS (2008), essentially a SyFy Channel-caliber film  about zombie mutants in an evil sugar factory.  There's everything from poorly-considered Russian accents, meager lighting, and several explosions whose CGI would compare unfavorably to that of an early 90s screen-saver.

 FOOOOOSH... better to have blown it up with flying toasters, I think.

The other "name" in the film, if we can call him that, is Brian De Palma-alumnus Steven Bauer, who can't even be bothered to phone in his performance– he delivers it via webcam:

A classic one-liner that will live on in the annals of film:  "Get to the cane mill and put an end to it."  Might I submit instead: "Blow 'em up into sweet nothings!" or "Go raise some cane!"

Anyway, back to Ironside: he plays the typical paramilitary badass we know and love ("Colonel Gauge"), but, as stated previously, the budget confines him to the back of a van for more than 75% of the run-time.  In the final twenty minutes, he boldly exits the van and kicks some righteous ass:

–er, no he doesn't.  He just wanders around an empty warehouse for a couple minutes and stabs a fat man.

And not the good kind.

Then there's the indignity of the end credits, whereupon his military rank is misspelled:

"Colonal?" 

In closing, I shall sum up the film– and Ironside's involvement– with a screen capture of Iron Mike staring in disbelief at an empty clip of ammunition, reflecting on the impotent futility of human endeavor:

"Ah, shit.  At least I got paid.  ...Whaddya mean the check's in the mail?"

2014 HALLOWEEN COUNTDOWN

1.  FROM DUSK TILL DAWN 2: TEXAS BLOOD MONEY (1999, Scott Spiegel)

2.  MARK OF THE VAMPIRE (1935, Tod Browning)

3.  FULL MOON HIGH (1981, Larry Cohen)

4.  EIGHT-LEGGED FREAKS (2002, Ellory Elkayem)

5.  MASTERS OF HORROR: WE ALL SCREAM FOR ICE CREAM (2007, Tom Holland)

6.  STEPHEN KING ON SONS OF ANARCHY (2010, Bill Gierhart)

7.  THE INITIATION (1984, Larry Stewart)
8. ...

A Blast from the Past: Sean Gill's CHEWIES 4

It occurs to me that there a number of films of mine that I've never shared here on the blog– one of them is CHEWIES 4: BRINGING DOWN THE HOUSE, a "long-lost" creature feature from 2008, inspired by terrible GREMLINS knock-offs like GHOULIES, MUNCHIES, HOBGOBLINS, and– who could forget– GHOULIES III: GHOULIES GO TO COLLEGE.  Unlike my more avant-garde, surrealist fare like THURSDAY NIGHT, this film is about summer, fun, friends, and bargain-basement no-budget filmmaking.  So, on it's 4th birthday: please responsibly enjoy CHEWIES 4, described as "Five teens and their dog face smarmy, unspeakable horror during a manor house getaway."

Chewies 4: Bringing Down the House from Sean Gill on Vimeo.

Film Review: HUNGER (2008, Steve McQueen)

Stars: 3.2 of 5.
Running Time: 96 minutes.
Notable Cast or Crew: Michael Fassender, Stuart Graham, Brian Milligan, Liam Cunningham.
Tag-line: "A compelling and unforgettable portrayal of life within the maze prison at the time of 1981 IRA hunger strike. An odyssey, in which the smallest gestures become epic and when the body is the last resource for protest."
Best one-liner: Not really that kind of movie.

I was pretty confused for a while. Why wasn't Ali McGraw in this? Where were the motorcycle stunts? The likable, sandy-haired irreverence?

In all seriousness, though, I was blown away upon my first viewing of HUNGER. The fourth major-motion picture telling of Bobby Sands' tale since 1996 (coming in the wake of SOME MOTHER'S SON, H3, and IL SILENZIO DELL'ALLODOLA), HUNGER has the body-horror of VIDEODROME, the quotidian-horror of THE PIANO TEACHER, the fecal-horror of SEVEN BEAUTIES, and the establishment-horror of A CLOCKWORK ORANGE.

But then, as the days passed, I found that the film's power began to shrivel. I began to think that maybe it should have been titled, 'STEVE MCQUEEN IS HUNGRY TO BECOME JULIAN SCHNABEL.' It's not that I can say anything bad about this film- it succeeds at being the epitome of 'viscerally disturbing'- but there's deceptively not a whole lot to it. Michael Fassbender's performance is brilliant, dangerously committed, and shockingly honest. His suffering is ours. But we're only entreated to Bobby's motivations, politics, moral quandaries, and notorious sense of humor in one (lengthy) scene, which, in my opinion- contrary to those who call it the centerpiece- seems to have been added nearly as an afterthought. Said scene is exceptionally well-acted by Fassbender and a priestly Liam Cunningham, but instead of showing, like he has excelled at for the entire duration thus far, McQueen resorts to telling, with a static, verbose long shot.

And the whole 'actor starving himself for a role' seems- inappropriate as it may be- weirdly passé, with all the press for Bale in THE MACHINIST (2004) and Jeremy Davies in RESCUE DAWN (2006). But Michael Fassbender is certainly committed, and the brutalization he endures for this film may well become the stuff of legend.

Oddly enough, I saw it in a chance double-feature with Marco Ferreri's LA GRANDE BOUFFE, where bourgeois fucknuts EAT themselves to death. Where Ferreri's film is a point of departure for larger questions, HUNGER is a self-contained document, the kind of movie aimed at your gut. But, to paraphrase Mamet: "Great [fasts] fade in reflection."

-Sean Gill

Film Review: ADAM RESURRECTED (2008, Paul Schrader)

Stars: 2 of 5.
Running Time: 106 minutes.
Notable Cast or Crew: Jeff Goldblum, Willem Dafoe, Derek Jacobi (DEAD AGAIN, GLADIATOR), Ayelet Zurer (MUNICH, VANTAGE POINT).
Tag-line: "In a world gone mad, being insane was just a way to fit in."
Best one-liner: "Who let a dog in here?"

Paul Schrader is quite possibly my favorite filmmaker of all time, and even on those rare occasions when I can't connect with his material (TOUCH, FOREVER MINE), I still have nothing but respect for the man and his movies. ADAM RESURRECTED never quite works, and it's certainly not for lack of trying. I can't help but feel that Schrader himself never connected with the material: written by Noah Stollman, based on the novel by Yoram Kaniuk, and self-distributed by (according to some accounts) hubristic producer Ehud Bleiberg, the film just doesn't 'feel' like a Schrader project, even when placed in context with other films he's directed but not written (AUTO FOCUS, THE COMFORT OF STRANGERS). I feel like the producers wanted ONE FLEW OVER THE SCHINDLER'S LIST, and Schrader probably wanted something closer to ISRAELI GIGOLO. Consequently, the film has a forced weight to it that usually rings false- you can have crying, screaming, breast-beating, crazies, and men barking like dogs; but if it's not in service to a story that carries real, passionate, connected poignancy, it's going to fall flat. One of the biggest cracks in the foundation here is Jeff Goldblum. I love Goldblum.

I wanted to believe that he was this character, but he simply couldn't sell it to me. On the surface, you could say that the problem was the German accent, which seemed to come and go with no real consistency, but the deeper problem was that the performance was based on affectation. There are many ways to tell a story from the point-of-view of a deeply disturbed individual. Look at Schrader's TAXI DRIVER, ROLLING THUNDER, or AUTO FOCUS. We delve deeply into the protagonist's minds, and emerge with not absolution, but an understanding of their lives, their motivations. Here, we just turn crazy up to eleven, and let it ride out. More like Nic Cage in VAMPIRE'S KISS or THE WICKER MAN than Devane in ROLLING THUNDER. And the asylum inmates are just terrible...terrible. Painful to watch. Time to get a new casting director. The silver lining here is clearly Willem Dafoe, as if we required more evidence that he has never delivered a poor performance. From his first appearance as a meek audience member at the CABARET-inspired Weimar venue

to his vile (but oddly pathetic) Nazi Commandant,

he's sharp, occasionally funny, often terrifying, and completely in the moment. I really wish I could say the same for the rest of the film. To see a film about human debasement in a similar vein but with genuine poignancy, check out Lina Wertmüller's SEVEN BEAUTIES.

-Sean Gill

Film Review: MOTHER OF TEARS (2008, Dario Argento)

Stars: 4.8 of 5.
Running Time: 102 minutes.
Notable Cast or Crew: Asia Argento, Udo Kier, Dario Nicolodi (back in an Argento film for the first time since their breakup during 1987's OPERA), Coralina Cataldi-Tassoni (the seamstress in OPERA, the birthday honoree in DEMONS 2), Jun Ichikawa. Music by Claudio Simonetti.
Tag-line: "What you see does not exist. What you cannot see is truth."
Best one-liner: "Who wants to eat the girl?"

MYTH: Dario Argento has never made a completely coherent film.
FACT: He has, it just doesn't happen to be this one.

Udo Kier angrily demands a coherent script.

MYTH: Dario Argento has never been able to resist gratuitously showing his daughter Asia naked.
FACT: He has. Back when she was 11, in DEMONS 2. But, then again, he didn't direct that one, he wrote and produced.

MYTH: Dario Argento has never been able to resist gratuitously torturing his daughter Asia.


Asia in a skull and maggot pit, in homage to his own PHENOMENA (1985).

FACT: Actually, that is a pretty accurate statement.

MYTH: Argento's films have gotten less gory over time.

Dario preps one of his buddies.


Coralina Cataldi-Tassoni gets wrapped in her own entrails or something.


A witch hoochie (Jun Ichikawa) is about to be messed up real bad.

FACT: This is a common belief among people who have just seen 2004's THE CARD PLAYER or 2005's DO YOU LIKE HITCHCOCK? Those of us who have seen the uncut JENIFER, PELTS, and MOTHER OF TEARS realize that Argento is undergoing probably not only the goriest stage of his career, but perhaps of all film history.

MYTH: This movie has a lame ending.

FACT: Only if you think Asia Argento destroying a witch by disrobing her with a giant spear is lame. Which, if you do, you probably shouldn't be watching Argento movies anyway.

MYTH: There's no way you could make a good drinking game out of this movie.
FACT: Try a drink every time they whisper 'Motttthhherrr.' If that's not enough, do one for every time you see an evil monkey or a member of the international army of witch hoochies.


MYTH: This film does not make for a good double feature with anything.

FACT: Try it with Mr. T's BE SOMEBODY OR BE SOMEBODY'S FOOL, specifically the "Treat Your Mother Right" rap, which seriously would have made amazing closing credits music.

Not that there's anything wrong with Daemonia's heavy metal effort, "(SHE'S OUR) MUTHAH OF TEARS!"

MYTH: This movie dishonors the reputation and visuals of SUSPIRIA and INFERNO.
FACT: You will be laughing too hard to care.

-Sean Gill

2009 Halloween Countdown

31. PROM NIGHT (1980, Paul Lynch)
30. PHENOMENA (1985, Dario Argento)
29. HOUSE OF WAX (1953, André de Toth)
28. SILENT RAGE (1982, Michael Miller)
27. BASKET CASE (1982, Frank Henenlotter)
26. THE DEADLY SPAWN (1983, Douglas McKeown)
25. PELTS (2006, Dario Argento)
24. ANGEL HEART (1987, Alan Parker)
23. KILLER WORKOUT (1986, David A. Prior)
22. FREDDY'S DEAD: THE FINAL NIGHTMARE (1991, Rachel Talalay)
21. THE ABOMINABLE DR. PHIBES (1971, Robert Fuest)
20. FRANKENHOOKER (1990, Frank Henenlotter)
19. HELLRAISER (1987, Clive Barker)
18. GEEK MAGGOT BINGO (1983, Nick Zedd)
17. ALLIGATOR (1980, Lewis Teague)
16. LIZARD IN A WOMAN'S SKIN (1971, Lucio Fulci)
15. THE CARD PLAYER (2004, Dario Argento)
14. SPASMO (1974, Umberto Lenzi)
13. C.H.U.D. (1984, Douglas Cheek)
12. FRIDAY THE 13TH PART III (1982, Steve Miner)
11. SWAMP THING (1982, Wes Craven)
10. DIARY OF THE DEAD (2008, George A. Romero)
9. THE LAIR OF THE WHITE WORM (1988, Ken Russell)
8. PIECES (1982, Juan Piquer Simón)
7. THE NEW YORK RIPPER (1982, Lucio Fulci)
6. MOTHER OF TEARS (2008, Dario Argento)
5.
...

Film Review: DIARY OF THE DEAD (2008, George A. Romero)

Stars: 4.3 of 5.
Running Time: 95 minutes.
Notable Cast or Crew: Martin Roach (here playing "Stranger," and he's a very talented actor usually confined to 'prison guard,' 'cop,' and 'doctor' roles- TOTAL RECALL 2070, WHO IS CLETIS TOUT?, THE LOOKOUT), Scott Wentworth (the awesome arrow-slinging Professor Maxwell here, THE ICE STORM, KUNG FU THE LEGEND CONTINUES), Michelle Morgan, Joshua Close (K-19 THE WIDOWMAKER), Amy Lalonde, Joe Dinicol (the EERIE INDIANA episode, "The Phantom"), Alan Van Sprang (LAND OF THE DEAD), and voice cameos by Quentin Tarantino, Stephen King, Guillermo del Toro, Wes Craven, and Simon Pegg. Special Makeup Effects by Greg Nicotero.
Tag-line: "Shoot the dead."
Best one-liner: "Don't bury dead. First shoot in head."

DIARY OF THE DEAD is a fast-paced, creative zombie thriller, with spectacular makeup effects and excellent performances. It’s a work as hilarious as it is disquieting.


There's haunting imagery of underwater zombies, a Shakespearian lush of a Professor, sharp commentary on class and race, some terrifying National Guardsmen, and the greatest Amish character in film history (I will say no more about it).


So why did so many people, including seasoned Romero zombie fans, not just dislike it, but outright HATE it? Well, in a way, Romero purposely stacks the deck against himself, but it's completely necessary for delving into the material he wishes to cover:

#1. The shaky cam. People bristle at this. But in an era where the dogged documentation of self-experience has proliferated to sickening levels, it becomes necessary. On a more positive note, this is also meant to function as a document of the thankfully increasingly prevalent outsider media- look at TROUBLE THE WATER, for example.

#2. The students are generally selfish, pretentious, and self-important: a lot of people look at the surface commentary here with the same disdain they hold for certain characters.

But that's doing Romero's meta-meta commentary a cruel disservice. It's easy to mistake the students' perspective for the film's because it is so frequently and overtly referenced (i.e., the voiceover narration). But Romero's commentary covers both the events depicted AND the students' commentary. Which leads me to:

#3. No one likes to be called an idiot. A mindless, self-absorbed numbnuts who fiddles while Rome burns. This is the number one reason the people who dislike this film react so negatively. Because, that's right, Romero is calling YOU out. Yeah, you asshole. You're the same fuck-mooks who wildly film yourselves in Times Square, harass celebrities for autographs, or fumble for your cell phone camera after a car accident. You're the same people who conduct yourselves as what Herzog calls 'perpetual tourists' instead of 'citizens of the world.'
Kindly old George is calling you out from behind those ginormous spectacles, and you don't like that.

I can’t say I blame you, but it’s a pity you didn’t learn anything from it.

-Sean Gill

2009 Halloween Countdown

31. PROM NIGHT (1980, Paul Lynch)
30. PHENOMENA (1985, Dario Argento)
29. HOUSE OF WAX (1953, André de Toth)
28. SILENT RAGE (1982, Michael Miller)
27. BASKET CASE (1982, Frank Henenlotter)
26. THE DEADLY SPAWN (1983, Douglas McKeown)
25. PELTS (2006, Dario Argento)
24. ANGEL HEART (1987, Alan Parker)
23. KILLER WORKOUT (1986, David A. Prior)
22. FREDDY'S DEAD: THE FINAL NIGHTMARE (1991, Rachel Talalay)
21. THE ABOMINABLE DR. PHIBES (1971, Robert Fuest)
20. FRANKENHOOKER (1990, Frank Henenlotter)
19. HELLRAISER (1987, Clive Barker)
18. GEEK MAGGOT BINGO (1983, Nick Zedd)
17. ALLIGATOR (1980, Lewis Teague)
16. LIZARD IN A WOMAN'S SKIN (1971, Lucio Fulci)
15. THE CARD PLAYER (2004, Dario Argento)
14. SPASMO (1974, Umberto Lenzi)
13. C.H.U.D. (1984, Douglas Cheek)
12. FRIDAY THE 13TH PART III (1982, Steve Miner)
11. SWAMP THING (1982, Wes Craven)
10. DIARY OF THE DEAD (2008, George A. Romero)
9.
...

Film Review: BOARDING GATE (2008, Olivier Assayas)

Stars: 2.5 of 5.
Running Time: 106 minutes.
Notable Cast or Crew: Asia Argento, Michael Madsen, Kelly Lin, Kim Gordon, Carl Ng.
Tag-lines: "She's losing control again."
Best one-liner: Everything Asia says.

BOARDING GATE is a pretty enjoyable B-movie, greatly enhanced by the presence of Asia Argento. This is not, however, an art film; it shouldn't be playing at Cannes, it should be playing at Times Square... in the 70's. Assayas' strength has never been his writing, and a lot of it here sounds like bad Skinemax dialogue. Not to mention this possesses one of the most amazingly clumsy expository sequences I've ever seen- as if a former prostitute would show up to her ex-lover/pimp's office after a long time and immediately say things like 'Oh, do you remember what we used to do...you would pay me to have sex with people,' 'Oh, yes, I remember that, that's not ALL I paid you to do, you were also a corporate spy,' etc.

Argento and Michael Madsen are more than up to the challenge of making it watchable, however, and, after all, I DID say this was a B-movie, so I can, and did, forgive it.

A couple of zany Argentos at the Boarding Gate premiere.

Argento is masterful, as always, so connected to her character's situation, plights, and perils, that she lends an extra realism, desperation, and urgency to the proceedings. She's so spot-on, that you never for one second doubt the violence that she metes out or the dire straits in which she finds herself. Argento is the only thing here that belongs in an art film, and it's surely an odd fit, given the Hong Kong action and skin-flick dialogue, but it all adds up to something very enjoyable. A two star B-thriller, kicked up a notch by the prolific Ms. Argento.

Film Review: STUCK (2008, Stuart Gordon)

Stars: 5 of 5.
Running Time: 85 minutes.
Notable Cast or Crew: Mena Suvari, Stephen Rea, Jeffrey Combs (star of REANIMATOR and many Gordons; here, in a cameo as the voice of the 911 operator), Russell Hornsby.
Tag-lines: "Ever had one of those days?"
Best exchange:
PETERSON: Of course, this is not an official offer, but I wanted you to be aware that you are high on my list of possible captains.
BRANDI: Thank you, Mrs. Petersen. I'll really try to do my best.
PETERSON: I know you will. Then I can count on you coming in tomorrow?
BRANDI: [surprised] Uh, Saturday?
PETERSON: I know what day it is, Brandi.
BRANDI: Yes, of course, I know you do; but, but I came in last Saturday.
PETERSON: Oh. I see.
[She starts to turn away]
BRANDI: But no, no, no, no, it's - I can come in, it's fine. It's no problem.

I didn't used to consider myself a Stuart Gordon fan by any means. Aside from DOLLS, his horror flicks just didn't get through to me, even though I'm was trying rather hard to like them. Yet I think sometime after DAGON, Gordon matured, began to fix his gaze upon quotidian horror, and finally found the perfect niche for his dark sense of humor. EDMOND and STUCK are by far my favorite Gordon films, and they brilliantly tackle some of the most important frustrations of our times, STUCK being a brilliant parable for the undercurrent of paralysis that seems to run beneath modern society. Using the story of Chante Mallard, the Texas woman who struck a homeless man with her vehicle and left him in her windshield to die, Gordon spins a black comedy which draws on the Kitty Genovese syndrome to the nth degree. But in this case, there's no one else to blame or to assume will 'take care of it.' It's a parable for an America who is willing to make the phone call, but hangs up as soon as someone answers. A people who will pull up to the hospital gate, but then peel out, frazzled and afraid.

It's about not being able to take responsibility, the pervasiveness of indecision, the hesitation that morphs into complete paralysis- something I think we can all truly relate to on some level, whether you're unsure about takeout options, a college major, or where to stash the body. Mena Suvari is impressive as the deluded 'upwardly mobile' nursing home attendant who lives only for the weekend club scene. Stephen Rea literally drips pathos as the recently homeless sad sack. Now some were angered by it (vague spoilers ahead), but I was actually pleased to see the narrative cathartically diverge from the news story, though I can't help but feel that it's meant as an "Owl Creek Bridge"-style finale which doesn't go through the motions of jolting back to reality. For an interesting double-bill, see it with Noah Baumbach's 1995 tale of post-grad ennui and paralysis, KICKING AND SCREAMING.

-Sean Gill

Film Review: APPALOOSA (2008, Ed Harris)

Stars: 4 of 5.
Running Time: 115 minutes.
Notable Cast or Crew: Ed Harris, Viggo Mortensen, Jeremy Irons, Lance Henriksen, Renee Zellweger, Timothy Spall (buddy and frequent collaborator of Ed Harris and Mike Leigh).
Tag-lines: "Feelings get you killed."
Best one-liner(s): "Never ain't here yet."

APPALOOSA's a rock solid Western. Imagine an episode of DEADWOOD directed by Ed Harris, and there ya go. They even use the 'Deadwood' font. I figure a man can judge a Western by how strong his desire to shave is afterward. Following the mustache party that was TOMBSTONE, I didn't want to shave for weeks. APPALOOSA is more of a 'I'll shave in a couple days' kinda Western. Something like HANG 'EM HIGH, I'm shaving DURING the movie. Anyway, I was worried when I heard Ed was making this movie. The last time he directed (which, incidentally, was his directorial debut) was POLLOCK. And during that film, he got so effin' intense that he collapsed and required medical attention. The only thing more intense than my desire to see Ed Harris films is my need for nothing bad to happen to Mr. Harris. Here, he evidently kept his intensity levels within a safe, non-hospitalizable margin, but you wouldn't know it from watching the film.

Just a couple of really intense buddies. On...

...and off the screen.

APPALOOSA delivers. It's absolutely beautiful to look at, Ed and Viggo Mortensen continue (albeit in a far more comradely scenario) their powerful chemistry from A HISTORY OF VIOLENCE, and there's excellent supporting turns from Jeremy Irons and a near-unrecognizable Lance Henriksen. Ed and Viggo slap goons in the face, and then shoot 'em down. Even Renee Zellweger can't ruin this. (And I was half-convinced that she would.) Harris directs his cast of characters with virtuosic nuance, and the centerpiece is the complex relationship between he and Viggo. Ed is in turns childish, brutal, naive, sweet, and grizzled; and the denouement rings true- it's at once a condemnation and an affirmation of Wild West ideals. Four stars. Keep on truckin', Mr. Harris.

-Sean Gill

Film Review: THE WRESTLER (2008, Darren Aronofsky)

Stars: 4 of 5.
Running Time: 115 minutes.
Notable Cast or Crew: Mickey Rourke, Marisa Tomei, Judah Friedlander, Bruce Springsteen, Mark Margolis, Dylan Summers, Ernest Miller.
Tag-lines: "Love. Pain. Glory."
Best exchange: "Goddamn they don't make em' like they used to." –"Fuckin' 80's man, best shit ever!" "Bet'chr ass man, Guns N' Roses! Rules." –"Crue!" "Yeah!" –"Def Lep!" "Then that Cobain pussy had to come around & ruin it all." –"Like there's something wrong, why not just have a good time?" "I'll tell you somethin', I hate the fuckin' 90's."

Solid, solid, solid movie, and the best wrestling flick since Jules Dassin's NIGHT AND THE CITY. It's like HELL COMES TO FROGTOWN directed by the Dardenne Brothers and starring Mickey Rourke as Dog the Bounty Hunter. Well, not exactly, but you see my point. It's a character study of washed-up Randy 'the Ram' Robinson, and a rumination on outsider performance art (from smashing folding chairs on dudes' heads at elementary schools to stripping in a sleazy Jersey bar). In its simple presentation and love for marginalized characters, it would make for a great recession double feature with FROZEN RIVER. And both films manage to find hilarity (as well as soul-crushing misery) amid the carnage. Take, for example, Randy's pre-wrestling routine: a sleazier version of say, Fosse's in ALL THAT JAZZ. With Randy, it's the tanning salon, steroid injections, hair bleaching, and prepping neon-green spandex. Rourke deserves his myriad accolades, as does Marisa Tomei, who pulls off 'aging Jersey stripper' (though perhaps it's the glittery eyeshadow that pushes her over the edge). The masochistic "Necro Butcher" plays himself in a memorable sequence, too.

The wrestling scenes themselves are the centerpiece of the film, and while they advance plot and character, they are also ridiculously visceral, maybe the most intense scenes of their kind I've seen since the no-holds-barred naked shower room brawl in EASTERN PROMISES.

(Side note: Why does everyone keep saying this is Rourke's comeback? They said it about THE RAINMAKER in '97, they said it about ONCE UPON A TIME IN MEXICO in '03, and they said it about SIN CITY in '05, which was #1 at the box office its opening weekend. Now they're saying it about THE WRESTLER in '08, which is classic media manipulation designed to create an underdog narrative and win Oscars. Fortunately, the film deserves them on its own merits.)


Addendum, September 2009: I just saw John Huston's FAT CITY, and I gotta say that THE WRESTLER is practically a straight-up remake (and that FAT CITY is the better film of the two). Now, I'm not gonna say that seeing FAT CITY diminishes the impact of THE WRESTLER... but, ya know what, it kinda does. See FAT CITY immediately.

Film Review: TROUBLE THE WATER (2008, "Carl Deal & Tia Lessin")

Stars: 4 of 5.
Running Time: 90 minutes.
Tag-line: "It's not about a hurricane. It's about America."
Awards: Nominated for the Oscar for Best Documentary, Jury Award Full Frame Documentary Festival, Best Documentary at Gotham Awards, Honorable Mention at the Silverdocs Festival, and the Grand Jury Prize at Sundance.

WHEN THE LEVEES BROKE is basically the definitive Katrina documentary, a film as devastating as it is epic. TROUBLE THE WATER's scope is much smaller- we follow Kimberly Roberts and her husband Scott (and some people they pick up along the way) as they survive the storm, attempt to receive FEMA funds, and try to forge a post-Katrina future. It's in turns tragic (we see the ease with which they become accustomed, even blase, to discovering corpses) and darkly hilarious (the tourism PR girl who dances along with an offensive video while saying people don't want to hear about the destroyed 80%, they want to hear about the unscathed 20!). We see bewildered FEMA crony Michael Brown fumbling on TV as, literally, an ocean rises on their neighborhood street. The most cutting moments are some of the simplest- audio recordings of 911 calls where the dispatchers tell the drowning and dying that no aid will be sent; or Kimberly's brother describing survival in a prison abandoned by guards. Kimberly's footage is raw, matter-of-fact, and representative of a growing media alternative. She is the auteur of this picture. Tia Lessin and Carl Deal just meet up with them along the way, bringing nothing to the table except poor choices in music (banal "be sad now" music, forms of which are used in almost every Sundance doc), public domain news footage, and the holiest god of American indie film: contacts for distribution. But make no mistake, for better or worse, this is Kimberly's film, a depiction of her life and worldview. Also, Kimberly and Scott's relationship is largely unexplored (one of her songs refers to slicing his face with a razor at 16, from which he has a nasty scar, then him giving her a wedding ring just a few years later). If Deal and Lessin were worth their salt at all, they would have at least followed up on intriguing nuances like that! Herzog would've. Instead, it seems that they stumbled upon Kimberly and her footage at the right time and place...I mean, come on, at least give her co-director credit.

-Sean Gill

Film Review: MY WINNIPEG (2008, Guy Maddin)

Stars: 3 of 5.
Running Time: 80 minutes.
Notable Cast or Crew: Ann Savage (DETOUR), Louis Negin (SISSY-BOY SLAP PARTY), Darcy Fehr (COWARDS BEND THE KNEE).
Tag-line: "The truth is relative."
Awards: Named Best Canadian Film by Toronto Film Festival and the Toronto Film Critics Association, two key groups that snubbed Maddin back when he was doing his freshest, most inventive work.

It pains me greatly to say it, but MY WINNIPEG is a disappointment, and in many ways a massive justification by Maddin, for Maddin, telling himself that it's okay that he's never left Winnipeg, that it's okay not to grow as an artist. I'm usually a Maddin apologist. COWARDS BEND THE KNEE, BRAND UPON THE BRAIN!, and THE SADDEST MUSIC IN THE WORLD occupy well-deserved places on my list of all-time greatest films. Half of his appeal is his obsessive analysis of his own life, of Canada, his nitpicking self-hatred and need to almost LIVE in the past, to relive it again and again until he understands it, until it has either no power and he can shelve it away, or it has reached such lofty, mythological heights that he can lionize it, love it, and live with it. MY WINNIPEG takes the impressions, moments, and memories of Maddin's life, and feels the need to completely enumerate, catalogue, and give his feverish fantasies complete self-awareness. Maddin's running commentary is frequently amusing, but he is so much less of an orator than someone like, say, Herzog, that it demystifies and overliteralizes of what we have previously only seen in glimpses and shadows. But there are moments of brilliance. Everything with DETOUR's Ann Savage (here, a stand-in for Guy's mother) is gold. Even the outtakes, which Maddin hilariously weaves into the film, are brilliant. But when he settles on this main thrust (reenacting childhood with actors in order to break free of the stranglehold of the past), he quickly changes gears and digresses, ultimately, and almost criminally, underusing Savage. Certain tangents, however (like the "Golden Boy" man pageants, the icy graveyard of frozen racehorses, and the "If Day" fake Nazi invasion), hit their notes perfectly, ranging from poeticism to hilarity. But overall, no matter how eccentric, personal, cavernous, or hilarious the city may be, it is a frozen city, now dangerous, a frosty selpulcher that threatens to swallow Maddin's promise. I sincerely hope that his subsequent work will emerge from the beneath the shadow of his past and stride confidently out of Winnipeg.

Film Review: MISTER LONELY (2008, Harmony Korine)

Stars: 1 of 5.
Running Time: 112 minutes.
Notable Cast or Crew: Samantha Morton, Werner Herzog, Diego Luna (Y TU MAMA TAMBIEN, MILK), Anita Pallenberg (BARBARELLA, PERFORMANCE, romantically linked to three Rolling Stones), James Fox (PERFORMANCE), Denis Lavant.
Awards: Screened at Cannes, and at IFC all summer.

I really, really thought that I would find myself in the minority of people who love MISTER LONELY. Instead, I found myself...well, perhaps I'll limit myself to constructive comments. Here are five pieces of advice for Mr. Korine:

#1. Write a script. Don't rely on bad improv. This is a great premise. (Michael Jackson, Marilyn Monroe, and a host of other impersonators in France; and we even got Werner Herzog.) How do you ruin a premise this great? By not writing a script. Diego Luna and Samantha Morton are fantastic. They can ALMOST sell it to me. But as soon as the bad actors show up, the cat's out of the bag, and I'm pissed off.

#2. Don't have two COMPLETELY disparate storylines for no good reason. In fact, try and have a good reason for everything you do.

#3. Limit the corny stuff. Try and limit yourself to one corny moment per film. This is a veritable shitstorm of corniness. The sun turning into a frowny face?! Characters' heads appearing on painted eggs?!

Perhaps the cheapest portrayal of a miracle ever committed to celluloid?! That awful sound you're hearing is the collective gnashing of teeth. Angry teeth.

#4. Don't waste Werner Herzog. DON'T WASTE WERNER HERZOG. Herzog is one of the most magical and amazing people on this planet, and you're having him do, basically, unedited improv with non-actors... in a Herzogian setting, to be sure, but in your hands, it's just a boring setting.

#5. Don't confuse yourself with better directors. You can try to be weird like David Lynch, but you'll never match him. The fact that you're TRYING to be weird defeats this aspiration before it can even commence. You can show eccentrics, but you will never wring the truth from them that Herzog can. And anyone can unleash improv Dogme 95 lunacy, and if you have money for a good cinematographer, you can have pleasing, carefully composed visuals. This does not mean you are Lars von Trier. This is not THE IDIOTS. If it was THE IDIOTS, there would be emotional stakes.

And now, Mr. Korine, you butt-horn, even looking at the extent of your folly, I STILL don't understand how you blew so great a premise. In the category of great, missed opportunities, also see: FLESHBURN.

-Sean Gill

Film Review: SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE (2008, Danny Boyle)

Stars: 3 of 5.
Running Time: 120 minutes.
Notable Cast or Crew: Dev Patel, Anil Kapoor
Tag-line: "What does it take to find a lost love? A. Money. B. Luck. C. Smarts. D. Destiny."
Awards: Eight Oscars including Best Picture, Audience Award Austin Film Festival, Best British Independent Film at the British Independent Film Awards, Golden Frog at Camerimage, Audience Award at Chicago International, Nominated for 4 Golden Globes, Best Director from Los Angeles Film Critics, Best Film from the National Board of Review, Nominated for 2 SAG awards, Best Director Southeastern Film Critics Association, People's Choice Award at Toronto International, and it's a frontrunner for many forthcoming awards.

Danny Boyle continues his examination of vast sums of money being bestowed upon unlikely individuals, but unlike some of his previous efforts, like SHALLOW GRAVE or MILLIONS, SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE focuses on the process of obtaining it and the backstory that made it possible, rather using the money as a point of departure. Despite an "it is written" framework (with a seriously stacked deck), Dev Patel's Jamal is a Boyle hero that earns his destiny through experience, not chance. SLUMDOG is a very enjoyable and endlessly sincere film, I just find it odd exactly how much award season buzz it seems to be generating. I feel as if people are too afraid to mention that it has more in common with Tony Scott's DOMINO than Boyle's own masterpiece, SHALLOW GRAVE. And it's not that I don't 'get it.' I liked the movie. I understand that Jamal's life has been one long sprint from the start just to survive- to keep his head above water (or feces, in one memorable scene). But is all the shaky cam, whacky frame rate, filters upon filters, pulsating over and underexposure, hovering micro zooms, and vaguely tacky techno really necessary? Boyle's always been a filmmaker with style, but this is over the top.

In the spirit of the film in question, let's play a game. It's called: "which of the following frames come from SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE and which came from Tony Scott movies?" This should be simple for all you SLUMDOG apologists. Shit, I'll even start out with an easy one:

A.


B.


C.


D.


E.


F.


And you know what? Now you've pissed me off. I'm not even gonna tell you now. Alright, fine, SLUMDOG is A., D., and E. And I didn't even have access to the most egregious, over-the-top shots. Scott's MAN ON FIRE was crucified for less. And Enya-esque wailing to accompany slow-motion sequences of emotional import? Hmm. That was kind of okay in LORD OF THE RINGS, but that was seven years ago. In SLUMDOG, its use made my hair curl. It's also pretty fair to say that about everyone is familiar with the rules to WHO WANTS TO BE A MILLIONAIRE. So it's insulting, when, to rachet up tension and stack the deck even further, characters insist that our hero should "just give it up and take the money- he's crazy not to!" when he still has two life-lines left. But on to the good. It's exceptionally well-acted (I especially enjoyed Anil Kapoor as the sleazy host), and its heart is in the right place. That's certainly enough to make me like it, but before you stick it on the end of the year list, ask yourself what, if anything, makes this different than a feel-good Tony Scott flick?

-Sean Gill