Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Film Review: FRIDAY THE 13TH PART III- IN 3-D! (1982, Steve Miner)

Stars: 4 of 5.
Running Time: 95 minutes.
Notable Cast or Crew: Directed by Steve Miner (FRIDAY THE 13TH PART 2, HOUSE, SOUL MAN). Written by Martin Kitrosser (MEATBALLS 2, Tarantino's script supervisor). Starring Nick Savage (HILL STREET BLUES, CLEAN AND SOBER), Tracie Savage (LITTLE HOUSE ON THE PRAIRIE), David Katims (THE INVISIBLE KID), Dana Kimmell (LONE WOLF MCQUADE, THE RETURN OF THE BEVERLY HILLBILLIES). With Richard Brooker (DEATHSTALKER) as Jason (making him the first Jason to don the trademark mask).
Tag-line: "A New Dimension In Terror..."
Best one-liner: "Yeah, sure. We'll talk... Bitch."

So the Jason movies are probably the least creative of all the horror franchises of the 70's and 80's. The movies are surely watchable, but they don't quite have the class of the first HALLOWEEN, they don't have anything that makes you go "WHUTTT!?" like the sphere with blades from the PHANTASM series, they don't even have monsters giving each other high-fives, like the GHOULIES. Now this third one is a lot of Jason fans' least favorite, but, for my money, it's the best. And I can tell you why with just one letter and one number: 3 and D. I've seen a lot of 3D movies on a regular television, but this one takes the damn cake. Any and every excuse to have something come toward the camera is exhausted. And when you think they can't possibly do any more, they do. It starts with the credits.

FOOOOOOSH
Every single credit laboriously floats toward the viewer with elan, as the greatest theme to ever grace the series (until Alice Cooper comes along in Part 6) blasts in all of its disco glory. A man holds a pole. What's gonna happen. He swoops it into the lens. Some kids play baseball. The bat awkwardly plunges into the frame.

WHAT DAH FUH

A man's head is crushed. His eyeball spirals into the lens in all of it's 3D glory.

HO-LY SHIT–
Harpoons, Jason's groping hands, an irksome yoyo.

WHOA HE'S TOUCHING ME

This guy is probably a bigger douche than the dude in HOUSE OF WAX.

All of these things and more are going to come poking and flying at you throughout the film. Jason and the teens are more of a background setting for these sweet 3D effects. I don't even think they say Jason's name in the entire movie. I also love that even the cover art depicts a shadowy man plunging a bloody dagger...INTO YOU!!!

-Sean Gill

2009 Halloween Countdown

31. PROM NIGHT (1980, Paul Lynch)
30. PHENOMENA (1985, Dario Argento)
29. HOUSE OF WAX (1953, André de Toth)
28. SILENT RAGE (1982, Michael Miller)
27. BASKET CASE (1982, Frank Henenlotter)
26. THE DEADLY SPAWN (1983, Douglas McKeown)
25. PELTS (2006, Dario Argento)
24. ANGEL HEART (1987, Alan Parker)
23. KILLER WORKOUT (1986, David A. Prior)
22. FREDDY'S DEAD: THE FINAL NIGHTMARE (1991, Rachel Talalay)
21. THE ABOMINABLE DR. PHIBES (1971, Robert Fuest)
20. FRANKENHOOKER (1990, Frank Henenlotter)
19. HELLRAISER (1987, Clive Barker)
18. GEEK MAGGOT BINGO (1983, Nick Zedd)
17. ALLIGATOR (1980, Lewis Teague)
16. LIZARD IN A WOMAN'S SKIN (1971, Lucio Fulci)
15. THE CARD PLAYER (2004, Dario Argento)
14. SPASMO (1974, Umberto Lenzi)
13. C.H.U.D. (1984, Douglas Cheek)
12. FRIDAY THE 13TH PART III (1982, Steve Miner)
11.
...

1 comment:

Jason said...

The yo-yo guy is an asshole!