Film Review: EXORCIST II: THE HERETIC (1977, John Boorman)

Stars: 2.8 of 5.
Running Time: 118 minutes.
Notable Cast or Crew: Linda Blair (ROLLER BOOGIE, THE EXORCIST), Richard Burton (THE KLANSMAN, THE SPY WHO CAME IN FROM THE COLD), Louise Fletcher (BRAINSTORM, ONE FLEW OVER THE CUCKOO'S NEST), Max von Sydow (THE ICE PIRATES, THE SEVENTH SEAL), Ned Beatty (STROKER ACE, DELIVERANCE), James Earl Jones (SOUL MAN, STAR WARS), Paul Henreid (OPERATION CROSSBOW, CASABLANCA), Kitty Winn (KOJAK, THE PANIC IN NEEDLE PARK). Music by Ennio Morricone (RED SONJA; THE GOOD, THE BAD, AND THE UGLY). Tap Dance Routine choreographed by Daniel Joseph Giaghi (PENNIES FROM HEAVEN).
Tag-line: "It's four years later...what does she remember?"
Best one-liner: "If he can teach me how he has survived Pazuzu... I'll come back and let you know."

Where to begin? The acting talent is astonishing- of the seven principal players, six have been nominated for (or have won) Oscars. The seventh, Kitty Winn, had won Best Actress at Cannes. The director, John Boorman, had a history of accomplished, edgy work from POINT BLANK to HELL IN THE PACIFIC to DELIVERANCE. So where did we go wrong? Well, two things in particular:

#1. EXORCIST II is playing a high-stakes poker game with the audience. And it's betting the farm on a little lady named Linda Blair, which you'll soon realize was something of a mistake. What everyone thought was a genius, new acting talent from the first EXORCIST was mostly just the voice of Mercedes McCambridge and the astonishing special effects. In the meantime, Blair had unfortunately become something of a King Midas in reverse… but, hey, she still does a mean tap-dance. More on that in a minute.

#2. Looks like John Boorman kept Richard Burton sober. Another big mistake. He plays nearly every scene with an infantile, bewildered grimace- the subtext is "Goddamn you for taking away my gin stash!" He's pronouncing "evil" with three syllables- "Eee-vee-ill." This man is tortured.

"When the wings have brushed you...is there no hope once the WINGS HAVE BRUSHED YOU!!!" Hand this man a flask, for the love of God!

"Where'd you put my stash, John? I won't be cross with you if you give it back, straightaway. I don't even want it all- just a fifth of the best gin. How's about a Gin Rickey, John? Just one Rickey. Then we'll get back to the film. Just a quick snifter, John. John?"


"Oh, I'll buy it back, John! I'll give you all the gold 'n silver in all the world, John! I'll do the picture gratis, John! Whaddya say? Just a quick Pimm's cup! It's all I need, John- just a little Pimm's to keep me going."


"You want some shite acting for your shite film, John?! By all the saints, I'll give it to, you bloody bastard! All's I wanted was some Pimm's, you divvy git! Why, now I'll take this Pazuzu fellow and cock up your picture!"

Anyway, there's some shit with amnesia and synchronized hypnosis,


and, wait- if Linda Blair can see into the future, then why doesn't she use that knowledge to prevent ROLLER BOOGIE from happening?

Then there's this tantalizing bit from the credits: "Tap Dance Routine choreographed by Daniel Joseph Giaghi." If you're anything like me, such an absurd statement will excite and intrigue. 'What can we put in Part 2 that we didn't have in Part 1?' Clearly the answer is a tap-dance routine. And not just a tap-dance routine– a psychedelic tap-dance collective seizure attack:

Dit-dat duh duh

Clickety-clackety-clickety-clack

EEEEEYEEOOOOOWWWW

YUHH-UHHHH-UHHH

Truly, it's the little things that keep ya going.

So, EXORCIST 1 had the head-spin, the vomit, and the inappropriate use of a crucifix. EXORCIST 2 has the tap-dance seizure, the locust POV shot,

and the rock crevice plummet. But there's some good stuff going on, too. Ennio Morricone's score is in turns funny, primal, epic, thumpin', and, on at least one occasion lends unexpected weight to a scene involving a locust attack. Boorman makes some bold stylistic and editing decisions, a few of which (trippy hallucinations

and a jarring self-immolation sequence) work quite well. On the whole, it kinda feels like a weird, arty horror retread of those terrible old Republic serials. It never quite bores and never quite entertains. Almost three stars- why not?.

-Sean Gill

Film Review: SAVAGE STREETS (1984, Danny Steinmann)

Stars: 3 of 5.
Running Time: 93 minutes.
Notable Cast or Crew: Linda Blair, John Vernon, Linnea Quigley (RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD, NIGHT OF THE DEMONS, NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET 4), Robert Dryer (CYBORG 2, THE BORROWER).
Tag-lines: "An eye for an eye."
Best one-liner: "Welcome home... ASSHOLES!"

I generally go in to a Linda Blair flick intending to yuck it up at her lack of talent and the fact she, at 24, looks like an odd middle-aged woman with a baby's face, but, invariably, I end up feeling kind of bad about it. See ROLLER BOOGIE.

Now, SAVAGE STREETS is the kind of 80's revenge flick that certainly hits all the right notes, but doesn't hit them loudly, obnoxiously, laughably, bafflingly, or Italian-ly enough to become a bona fide trash classic. There's a lot of good stuff, though: John Vernon as the trash-talking a-hole principal ("Go fuck an iceberg!"),

Linda Blair cackling with a crossbow and swiggin' peach brandy, extreme close-ups on crotch grabs, gang gals voraciously devouring ice cream, and the exchange: "Too bad you're not double-jointed!" -"Why?" "Because if it were, you'd be able to bend over and kiss your ass goodbye!"


There's a lot of great unanswered questions, too, like: Where did Linda Blair get bear traps?; If the gangs have no problem murdering and raping and axing people, why do they show up to class?; Why do Linda and her friends yell for her DEAF sister when they can't find her?; Why are there bizarre homages paid to GREASE?; and After all of the mayhem, destruction, crossbows, explosions, murders, and whatnot do the cops show up only at THE END? Ordinarily, a top-notch flick of this genre, like SWITCHBLADE SISTERS or CLASS OF 1984, would take those questions and commence shoving them up your ass, but here, in SAVAGE STREETS, they sort of linger in the air like the rotten leftovers of ROLLER BOOGIE and EXORCIST II.

And, I'm sorry, when your director's greatest credit is FRIDAY THE 13TH V: A NEW BEGINNING (for the non die-hards, yeah, that's the Jason movie WITHOUT JASON)... well, nevermind. I have no follow-up. I guess I just wanted to get that out there. There shoulda been more John Vernon, though, so, yeah. Three stars.

-Sean Gill

Film Review: ROLLER BOOGIE (1979, Mark L. Lester)

Stars: 2 of 5.
Running Time: 103 minutes.
Notable Cast or Crew: Director Mark L. Lester (CLASS OF 1984, FIRESTARTER), Linda Blair (THE EXORCIST, THE EXORCIST II: THE HERETIC), Jim Bray, Beverly Garland, James van Patten.
Tag-lines: "It's love on wheels! "
Best one-liner(s): "So what, I'm a musical genius! Whatta drag! Whatta bummer!" or perhaps "Get the goons with the fruit!"

I just couldn't get on board with ROLLER BOOGIE. It didn't possess the ridiculousness of STAYING ALIVE, the glitter of CAN'T STOP THE MUSIC, or the sheer virtuosity of BREAKIN' 2: ELECTRIC BOOGALOO.

Generally these films are a mix of poorly-acted bad dialogue, intense visual spectacle, and spit-take inducing moves. ROLLER BOOGIE only has the first item on that list. There were no roller skating moves here that caused me to spray Coke II out of my nose all over my Lisa Frank trapper keeper, and that's a bad thing. Basically we got whiny rich chippy Linda Blair and talentless, charmless Jim Bray pussyfooting around a narcissistic, sad sack summer romance with some mediocre skating thrown in for flavor. It wants so desperately to be SATURDAY NIGHT FEVER, and, well, to paraphrase Lloyd Bentsen: "I watched John Travolta in PERFECT, I KNEW John Travolta, and, Linda, you are no John Travolta." In fact, she's a younger, untalented, less attractive version of Kathleen Turner.

She sucks. And she's rich and tools around in a Rolls-Royce, so NOT ONLY does she suck, but we also LOATHE her. Jim Bray is a skater evidently training for the Olympics, or so he constantly says. Would that be ICE-skating? One would assume, but though the Olympics are mentioned about 10 times, the word 'ice' is not uttered once. I'm pretty sure you couldn't get a gold medal in Roller Disco, even in '79. Anyway, it all leads up to a dance contest. One of the other pairs of contestants is an actually talented black couple, well-trained and finely costumed. For a brief instant, you think you're in one of those other movies I mentioned. But no. Of course Linda and Jim win, and though in these sorts of films, it's usually a hollow victory with a stacked deck, I don't think, in the course of film history, that the winning of a contest has ever been more feigned, white-bred, and meaningless than it is here.

It, and this whole movie, are like letting the air rush out of a balloon. Pffft.

-Sean Gill