Only now does it occur to me... INNERSPACE (1987)

Only now does it occur to me... that I would ever see character-acting legend and scene-stealing nutball Robert Picardo (TOTAL RECALL, THE WONDER YEARS) busting such savagely hip and creepy dance moves, and all in service of seducing America's Sweetheart, Meg Ryan!





Note: "The Invisible Lasso," an essential move in Picardo's dance arsenal.

I saw INNERSPACE on television as a child, and for whatever reason I did not remember much, beyond it being a comedic 1980s update of FANTASTIC VOYAGE wherein an experimental pilot (Dennis Quaid) is miniaturized and accidentally injected into the bloodstream of a hypochondriac (Martin Short).



Dennis Quaid embarks on his 'fantastic voyage' while eating a JELL-O pudding snack and doing some kind of Jack Nicholson/Harrison Ford pastiche.

Upon revisiting, I cannot emphasize enough how anarchic and bizarre a movie INNERSPACE is. Robert Picardo is just the tip of the iceberg––though I must admit that in his minor role as a silky-smooth international smuggler named "The Cowboy," he does his darnedest to steal the entire movie. Whether "Travis Bickling" with a blow dryer:

putting the moves on Meg Ryan:

 

wearing a Speedo and blasting a champagne cork at Martin Short:

or being kidnapped and impersonated by a rubberized (through science-fictioney means) Martin Short:



I guess I'm trying to tell you that it's a live action Looney Tunes episode, a relentless slice of sci-fi mayhem, and a work of good-natured batshittery. In other words, it's a Joe Dante film!

BEHOLD: A villainous henchman (Vernon Wells, "Bennett" from COMMANDO!) with more cyborg arm-appendage weapons than Chuck Connors in 99 AND 44/100% DEAD and "Doctor Claw" from INSPECTOR GADGET combined!


EXPERIENCE: Fiona Lewis (THE FURY, STRANGE INVADERS) as perhaps the most lascivious corporate scientist of all time!


ENJOY: Kevin McCarthy (INVASION OF THE BODY SNATCHERS) as a criminal mastermind with impeccable interior (and personal) design!


FIND CATHARSIS IN: Lewis and McCarthy shrunk to the size of children (or we could say "Good Guy Doll"-size) and handling absurdly-proportioned props!



GAZE UPON: 1980s New Wave nuttery and other optical illusions!


SEE: More terrifying rubbery faces than TOTAL RECALL!




WITNESS: A tearful Meg Ryan cab ride, made possible by none other than "That Guy" legend, Dick Miller!


LOOK AT: A Rance Howard cameo! Just look at it!

 
CONTEMPLATE: A world where Henry Gibson is your bitchy-but-well-meaning supermarket boss!


BE FACED WITH UNSETTLING MELANCHOLY: When the scientist who injects Martin Short (John Hora, Dante's cinematographer) is shot and killed at a mall by Vernon Wells' robo-assassin. As the life flows out of him, he is confronted with the startling image of mall mascots coming to his aid.


He fades and dies, scared and confused. This is probably a good example of what I mean when I say this film is anarchic––but it is emotionally grounded, unlike much of the contemporary absurdist comedy, where many jokes rely upon randomness or anti-humor for their effect. There is an order to this film––a cartoon-logic, if you will––but its anarchy supports the story (also see: PEE-WEE'S BIG ADVENTURE, GREMLINS 2: THE NEW BATCH, WILLY WONKA & THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY, et al.), and it's nothing if not well earned.

I feel as if I've barely scratched the surface of this strange beast. Now, go forth, and rent INNERSPACE!

––Sean Gill

Film Review: INVASION OF THE BODY SNATCHERS (1978, Philip Kaufman)

Stars: 5 of 5.
Running Time: 115 minutes.
Tag-line: "Get some sleep."
Notable Cast or Crew: Donald Sutherland, Leonard Nimoy, Jeff Goldblum, Brooke Adams (THE DEAD ZONE, DAYS OF HEAVEN), Art Hindle (PORKY'S, THE BROOD), Veronica Cartwright (ALIEN, THE RIGHT STUFF). Cameos by Don Siegel, Robert Duvall, and Kevin McCarthy. Written by W.D. Richter.
Best one-liner: "Here I am, you pod bastards! Hey, pods! Come and get me you scum!"

Now this is how you do a remake- measured, requisite homage to the source, a balanced degree of artistic reinterpretation, and a top-notch ensemble cast. As far as I'm concerned, this film ushered in a decade of well-made horror remakes (THE THING, THE FLY, THE BLOB, CAT PEOPLE)- a phenomenon that sadly, did not outlast the 80's. Philip Kaufman's INVASION OF THE BODY SNATCHERS brings a tremendous amount of artistry to the table: using a taut screenplay by W.D. Richter (BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA, HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS), Kaufman masters the slow build, the character development, and paranoiac atmosphere necessary to pull this off. There are perfectly alienating moments that feel like they're culled from a film by Teshigahara: the cobwebby aliens fleeing their home planet, wafting through space- abstract forms set to atonal music:

a cameo by Robert Duvall as a sinister priest pendulating back and forth on a squeaky swingset:

a world in panic, viewed through the distorted, cracked windshield of a car...

These impressions build, ever so slowly, to a crescendo of sorts- one of encroaching madness. We see a world in transformation: a puzzle assembled before our very eyes- only by the time its true face is revealed, we've passed the point of no return. Our heroes (who strain to seek the truth before it's too late) include Donald Sutherland as a likable, rational health inspector:

Jeff Goldblum as a high-strung, rambling writer:

Brooke Adams as a winsome, persistent botanist:

Veronica Cartwright as a resolute hippie; and Leonard Nimoy as a self-help guru who preaches reason in a time where what's called for is volatility.


The special effects are entirely disturbing, and not on a level of sheer gore- it's an unsettling depiction of wholly alien, biological, bodily processes, and it really begins to get under your skin.

This is a disorienting movie, full of convex mirrors, handheld cameras, and wide-angle lens shots-

I would go as far to say that it surpasses the original in sheer effectiveness- and it culminates with an (atonally?) pitch-perfect finale. Five stars.

-Sean Gill

And as a side note- watch for ingenious Don Siegel and Kevin McCarthy cameos-

You're next!

Film Review: GHOULIES III: GHOULIES GO TO COLLEGE (1991, John Carl Buechler)

Stars: 2 of 5.
Running Time: 94 minutes.
Notable Cast or Crew: Kevin McCarthy (INVASION OF THE BODY SNATCHERS), Jason Scott Lee (MAP OF THE HUMAN HEART, ALADDIN TV Miniseries), Stephen Lee (ROBOCOP 2). Directed by John Carl Buechler, director of TROLL 1 and FRIDAY THE 13TH PART VII: THE NEW BLOOD.
Tag-line: "Out of the bowl... and TOTALLY out of control!" (as opposed to just merely "Out of the bowl...and out of control" as was the case with the previous film) AND "Everybody's favorite troublemakers are on the loose again!" You would think that they would come up with a collegiate-related tag-line given the setting, but the GHOULIES series was never known for its attention to detail... but wait, they did! At the end of the trailer, the announcer says "They put the animal back in the house!," which I guess should count.
Best one-liner: "They drank our brews! This means war!"



Alright, let's stop kidding ourselves here. You're probably thinking it: anyone with the desire to see this film is probably a bad person. Time is a precious commodity, and anyone who would invest 94 minutes of it watching GHOULIES III is likely just as cavalier with other resources and likely is contributing to the downfall of society. Well, I'll have you know that that's not necessarily true. I even contributed to the global economy by purchasing the used VHS from Australia via eBay. But what was the initial hook? Perhaps I do owe an explanation. Maybe I was won over by the fact that B-horror legend Kevin McCarthy stars in it. Maybe I was just won over by the fact that the Ghoulies are depicted on the cover wearing little caps and gowns and tassels and such. Regardless of the specifics, I ended up with GHOULIES III: GHOULIES GO TO COLLEGE. But let's not beat around the bush. How is the movie? The movie is bad.



So our tale is spun on a college campus where Kevin McCarthy is the dean of students.

"You won't get away with those foolish pranks THIS year."
The campus is besotten with pranks of all kinds; and nary a moment can pass without someone being struck with an egg or water balloon, or some poor, unsuspecting mark slipping on grease or oil slick, invariably with a whole lot of important papers and books flying about, and the pranksters themselves celebrating with a ritualized high-five.

Kevin McCarthy decides that the best way to deal with these pranksters is to summon the Ghoulies to put an end to them; which, had he seen GHOULIES 1 and 2, he would realize is a terrible idea, since the Ghoulies themselves are basically the pranksters to end all pranksters. I guess from that, you could logically derive the idea that the Ghoulies would then 'put an end,' to the pranksters themselves, but would not, in fact, put an end to the pranks themselves, which the Ghoulies would be proliferating exponentially as soon as the pranksters themselves were dead. Basically what that all means is, strap yourselves in, folks, cause there are going to be a whole lot of pranks going on. Some of the pranks, especially those perpetuated by the Ghoulies, are going to be deadly. And that's going to put a bad taste in your mouth if you're the sort of person who enjoys viewing pranks without moral consequence.

Now, the Ghoulies themselves talk in this one, tossing around colorful words like "schmuck" with reckless abandon. Though in 2, they were given a higher degree of sentience, and frequently would high-five each other and have fun perpetuating violence, here, they're dropping bad one-liners, engaging in panty-raids, and drinking beers as they sow mayhem.

It's a little disconcerting to see the Ghoulies cracking jokes like Borscht Belt comics, but, I suppose, it ought to be considered par for the course at this point.

There's a really clever running gag where the Ghoulies open up cupboards or closets or refrigerators, and a whole ton of stuff falls down on them, and they moan and groan as if they didn't really expect it to happen.



And hilarity ensueth.

The film does succeed at building a certain type of atmosphere. A kind of creepy, jokey, eerily childish worldview where murders-by-pranking-monsters don't seem out of place. It's almost a supercilious view of death, so by-the-numbers and matter-of-fact, that it partially succeeds in being unsettling. It reminded me of films like the original GHOULIES, Stuart Gordon's DOLLS, and WAXWORK, all of which are far superior. Kind of like the cinematic equivalent of gummy candy in the shape of eyeballs or bloody brains; gross, puerile, and slightly visceral, yes; but ultimately leading to unnecessary feelings of disgust. It all adds up to something kind of depressing. Kind of depressing for all the panty raid victims who had to be naked as they were killed by plungers and whatnot; kind of depressing for Kevin McCarthy, who, though he hasn't always made the best career choices, is a fine actor, and something of an icon for B-horror enthusiasts; and, ultimately kind of depressing for the people who made the time investment to watch the film, and all they're actually taking away from it are hazy half-memories of monsters dropping one-liners, ridiculous collegiate pranks, fog machines, and glowing green toilets. Still, though, I must give it two stars on account of the little guys posing in tiny caps and gowns for the promotional photos. And with that rating comes the admission, that, yes, I do suppose I must be a bad person. But at least I haven't been yet tempted to view GHOULIES IV. (Probably just because it doesn't possess a subtitle. If it were entitled: GHOULIES IV: GHOULIES GO TO GRAD SCHOOL... I cannot lie- a copy would currently reside on my shelf.)

-Sean Gill