Only now does it occur to me... PHANTASM II: THE BALL IS BACK (1988)

Only now does it occur to me... is PHANTASM II (1988) good? I thought so, back when I saw it for the first time, about fifteen years ago.

The budget is ten times larger (at $3 million) than PHANTASM's, and Universal Pictures put its major studio heft behind it (though it was the cheapest movie that Universal produced in the 1980s and generally feels like an upper-tier New World Picture). 

The Greg Nicotero and Robert Kurtzman SFX are solid,

 

 and the cinematography by Daryn Okada is crisp and impressive. 

 

They've changed up the essential formula from melancholy horror to sci-fi actioner, and it's somehow the median point between EVIL DEAD 2, ALIENS, and TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE 2 on the "horror sequel reinvention" scale. Maybe it's the RETURN TO SALEM'S LOT of PHANTASM sequels?

In the lead role of "Mike," indie child actor A. Michael Baldwin has been upgraded (?) to '80s-'90s standby James LeGros (POINT BREAK, DRUGSTORE COWBOY) who basically plays him as THE EXTERMINATOR.

Slow-jammin' Ice Cream Man Reggie Bannister is back, baby,

 

as is Angus Scrimm, who is always a sobering, dangerous presence and, as the "Tall Man," wears the scariest bob haircut of all time. 

 

The sentinel sphere gang even gets a new member, in the form of a gold-plated, lightsaber-laser-wielding (?) video-game-boss-looking gadget. 

 

This movie features a four-barreled shotgun, for godssakes. 

 

There are a lot more explosions per capita, that's for sure.

Does this mean the movie is good, though? Not precisely. It doesn't have the craftsmanship or sheer adrenaline (or budget) of ALIENS, the satire of TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE 2, or the comedy of EVIL DEAD 2––though we do get one of the most ludicrous sex scenes of all time with Reggie the Ice Cream Man ("You're a bald, middle-aged former ice cream vendor," says LeGros' Mike) cavorting with a mostly unexplained hitchhiking fashion model, in a scene so gratuitous that Reggie Bannister's actual wife insisted on being on set, just out of frame, for the duration. 

The actress playing the hitchhiker––Samantha Phillips––cannot keep a straight face throughout, possibly due to the proximity of Reggie's wife, and her unabashed mockery of the scene almost reclaims it from the male gaze. If this film offers Reggie as a sex symbol (and he plays it... like Clint Howard doing James Bond?), Samantha offers, through her performance, a sly retort.

While watching the film, I, too, had something like a dumb grin on my face for much of the duration––it's a movie that feels like it shouldn't exist, as if it were inexplicable, higher-budget fan fiction of an obscure indie. It's chock full of references for genre nerds, like Alex Murphy's grave (Peter Weller from ROBOCOP)

 

 or a bag full of Sam Raimi's ashes 

 

(as well as some Raimi-inspired POV shots 

 

and an arch moment of self-amputation). 

 

There's a weird whiskey priest subplot that goes nowhere, extended chainsaw duels, 

 

rat-exploding lasers,

 

and the poetic use of "Suck on this!" as a third-act one-liner.

 

In the end, this is all more of a curiosity than a genre classic, but I suppose I'm glad that it exists? It seems that for most PHANTASM "phans," they either love part 2 and dislike part 3, or they dislike part 2 and love part 3. As you will soon see, I'm much closer to being in the latter camp.

To be continued...