Film Review: PARANORMAL ACTIVITY (2009, Oren Peli)

Stars: 3.8 of 5.
Running Time: 86 minutes.
Notable Cast or Crew: Katie Featherston, Micah Sloat.
Best one-liner: [Micah's efforts to rile up the spirit in true Dubya, "Bring it on" fashion:] "What is your quest? What is your favorite color?"

This is no horror masterpiece, but it's an effective, minimalist chiller helmed by (Oren Peli) a clear aficionado of the "BOO!" genre. It doesn't really bring anything new to the table, and the acting may not always be first-rate, but you know you've used your $15,000 budget well when you have an audience anticipating the slightest change in a static image with baited breath. It’s almost as if you enter into a contract with this film to 'be more attentive,' and this even goes beyond the lengthy sleeping scenes. For example, at one point the characters leave the room, but a Ouija board ominously remains on the table. Surely something supernatural is about to happen. You wait. You're afraid you're going to blink and miss it, so you're scrutinizing the screen with wide-eyed, "Where's Waldo" intensity. And that's exactly it- PARANORMAL ACTIVITY is to films what "Where's Waldo" is to books! You're happy to spend a little time on it (86 minutes), you're certainly engaged for the duration, and the payoffs beget a sort of trifling satisfaction, but, at the end of the line, you're not taking anything away from it (nor should you!).

Regardless, the theatrical ending (changed apparently at the behest of Steven Spielberg, and involving a soggy J-Horror climax... and a CGI ghoul-morph!) is considerably weaker than the alternate ending on the DVD (which evidently made the rounds at a festival screening), so I wholeheartedly recommend the latter.

In terms of 'characters with a video camera' horror, I still prefer [•REC] and DIARY OF THE DEAD, but I must admit that every time I think this shakycam horse is dead, there’s another twitch, another few muscle spasms, and somebody like Oren Peli gets in a few more good licks. So- nearly four stars.

[However, unfortunately for us, now that Paramount has got their hooks into the 'PARANORMAL ACTIVITY franchise" (not to mention a CLOVERFIELD sequel), that horse may have a few postmortem beatdowns in store.]

-Sean Gill

Musical side note: And I think excellent closing credits music would've been a rousing rendition of Heart's "These Dreams."

Film Review: [•REC] (2007, Jaume Balagueró & Paco Plaza)

Stars: 4.4 of 5.
Running Time: 80 minutes.
Notable Cast or Crew: Manuela Velasco, Ferran Terraza, Jorge Serrano, Vicente Gil.
Tag-line: "The movie that inspired QUARANTINE." Now, that's just depressing.
Best one-liner: "If this is a pain in the ass, just cut, okay?"

I thought I'd had it up to my ass with the shaky-cam horror genre, but then a little flick like [•REC] comes along and impresses the hell out of me. This is lithe, efficient storytelling at its best: after an uneventful introductory sequence (which is more about lulling you into complacency than seriously developing character- but here, that's okay!), the film begins a headlong, breathless sprint into the unknown, and there's some pretty scary shit at the end of the line. It's an extremely visceral film, never quite terrifying you on an intellectual level, but relying quite effectively on base fears of the dark, things that bite, confined spaces, and the volatile combination of all three.

[•REC] has studied up on the 'Boo!' genre, dispensed with the humor and social commentary, and while there's nothing new here exactly (except perhaps the 'Spanish' spin on the zombie movie which invokes Catholic mysticism in a roundabout way), all the present elements work exceptionally.

[•REC]'s all about moderation, in a way, too– we're kept in the dark, in infrared night-vision, and in the midst of screaming and chaos for just long enough- none of these elements (which can be grating an elongated context) wear out their welcome. It all builds to a finale that is genuinely terrifying, unnerving, and worthy of the hype- and it does all of that with a real, live actor, not some poorly-rendered CGI cartoon. Finally! I feel as if this is the proper cure for the zombie fans who immediately started gagging when CGI deer turned up just five minutes in to I AM LEGEND. Gahhh.

Anyway, alongside INLAND EMPIRE, I'm prepared to call this the scariest movie of the new millennium. Even the bland, embarrassing heavy metal blaring over the end credits couldn't put a bad taste in my mouth.

-Sean Gill


2009 HALLOWEEN COUNTDOWN OVERFLOW

1. [•REC] (2007, Jaume Balagueró & Paco Plaza)
2.
...

Film Review: DIARY OF THE DEAD (2008, George A. Romero)

Stars: 4.3 of 5.
Running Time: 95 minutes.
Notable Cast or Crew: Martin Roach (here playing "Stranger," and he's a very talented actor usually confined to 'prison guard,' 'cop,' and 'doctor' roles- TOTAL RECALL 2070, WHO IS CLETIS TOUT?, THE LOOKOUT), Scott Wentworth (the awesome arrow-slinging Professor Maxwell here, THE ICE STORM, KUNG FU THE LEGEND CONTINUES), Michelle Morgan, Joshua Close (K-19 THE WIDOWMAKER), Amy Lalonde, Joe Dinicol (the EERIE INDIANA episode, "The Phantom"), Alan Van Sprang (LAND OF THE DEAD), and voice cameos by Quentin Tarantino, Stephen King, Guillermo del Toro, Wes Craven, and Simon Pegg. Special Makeup Effects by Greg Nicotero.
Tag-line: "Shoot the dead."
Best one-liner: "Don't bury dead. First shoot in head."

DIARY OF THE DEAD is a fast-paced, creative zombie thriller, with spectacular makeup effects and excellent performances. It’s a work as hilarious as it is disquieting.


There's haunting imagery of underwater zombies, a Shakespearian lush of a Professor, sharp commentary on class and race, some terrifying National Guardsmen, and the greatest Amish character in film history (I will say no more about it).


So why did so many people, including seasoned Romero zombie fans, not just dislike it, but outright HATE it? Well, in a way, Romero purposely stacks the deck against himself, but it's completely necessary for delving into the material he wishes to cover:

#1. The shaky cam. People bristle at this. But in an era where the dogged documentation of self-experience has proliferated to sickening levels, it becomes necessary. On a more positive note, this is also meant to function as a document of the thankfully increasingly prevalent outsider media- look at TROUBLE THE WATER, for example.

#2. The students are generally selfish, pretentious, and self-important: a lot of people look at the surface commentary here with the same disdain they hold for certain characters.

But that's doing Romero's meta-meta commentary a cruel disservice. It's easy to mistake the students' perspective for the film's because it is so frequently and overtly referenced (i.e., the voiceover narration). But Romero's commentary covers both the events depicted AND the students' commentary. Which leads me to:

#3. No one likes to be called an idiot. A mindless, self-absorbed numbnuts who fiddles while Rome burns. This is the number one reason the people who dislike this film react so negatively. Because, that's right, Romero is calling YOU out. Yeah, you asshole. You're the same fuck-mooks who wildly film yourselves in Times Square, harass celebrities for autographs, or fumble for your cell phone camera after a car accident. You're the same people who conduct yourselves as what Herzog calls 'perpetual tourists' instead of 'citizens of the world.'
Kindly old George is calling you out from behind those ginormous spectacles, and you don't like that.

I can’t say I blame you, but it’s a pity you didn’t learn anything from it.

-Sean Gill

2009 Halloween Countdown

31. PROM NIGHT (1980, Paul Lynch)
30. PHENOMENA (1985, Dario Argento)
29. HOUSE OF WAX (1953, André de Toth)
28. SILENT RAGE (1982, Michael Miller)
27. BASKET CASE (1982, Frank Henenlotter)
26. THE DEADLY SPAWN (1983, Douglas McKeown)
25. PELTS (2006, Dario Argento)
24. ANGEL HEART (1987, Alan Parker)
23. KILLER WORKOUT (1986, David A. Prior)
22. FREDDY'S DEAD: THE FINAL NIGHTMARE (1991, Rachel Talalay)
21. THE ABOMINABLE DR. PHIBES (1971, Robert Fuest)
20. FRANKENHOOKER (1990, Frank Henenlotter)
19. HELLRAISER (1987, Clive Barker)
18. GEEK MAGGOT BINGO (1983, Nick Zedd)
17. ALLIGATOR (1980, Lewis Teague)
16. LIZARD IN A WOMAN'S SKIN (1971, Lucio Fulci)
15. THE CARD PLAYER (2004, Dario Argento)
14. SPASMO (1974, Umberto Lenzi)
13. C.H.U.D. (1984, Douglas Cheek)
12. FRIDAY THE 13TH PART III (1982, Steve Miner)
11. SWAMP THING (1982, Wes Craven)
10. DIARY OF THE DEAD (2008, George A. Romero)
9.
...