Only now does it occur to me... NOMADS

Only now does it occur to me... that 1980s bizarro arthouse fantasy-horror flick NOMADS (from director John McTiernan, whose work includes DIE HARD, PREDATOR, and LAST ACTION HERO) has––in addition to Pierce Brosnan doing a wonderfully ridiculous French accent–– some incredibly inspired and eclectic casting.

The eponymous band of nomads, who appear as post-apocalyptic 1980s biker punks straight out of CYBORG or ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK, happen to include rocker Adam Ant:

singer Josie Cotton (of "Johnny, Are You Queer?"):

sinister character actor Frank Doubleday (who I've referred to as "John Carpenter's Klaus Kinski" after his appearances in ASSAULT ON PRECINCT 13 and ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK):

Alvin Ailey dancer and Cannon Films henchman Héctor Mercado (of DELTA FORCE 2 and DEATH WISH 4):
 
 and cult legend Mary Woronov (EATING RAOUL, ROCK N' ROLL HIGH SCHOOL).

I would've liked to have seen Paul Bartel also dressed as an 80s punk biker.

Hell, we even have David Lynch's favorite granny Frances Bay as a terrifying nun.

On the whole, NOMADS is an atmospheric fantasy thriller that, I guess, does for anthropology what JURASSIC PARK did for paleontology?

In closing, I never thought I would see Mary Woronov dancing creepily to Ted Nugent guitar riffs as Pierce Brosnan tries to photograph her, in the name of science.

There is at least a Ph.D's worth of behavioral science in this tableau.

2015 HALLOWEEN COUNTDOWN

1.  SCANNERS (1981, David Cronenberg)

2.  MICHAEL IRONSIDE: MENTAL SABOTEUR (2014, Karen Stetler)

3. ...

Film Review: THE PIT AND THE PENDULUM (1991, Stuart Gordon)

Stars: 4 of 5.
Running Time: 97 minutes.
Notable Cast or Crew: Lance Henriksen (ALIENS, THE TERMINATOR, NEAR DARK), Mark Margolis (THE WRESTLER, PI), Jeffrey Combs (RE-ANIMATOR, CASTLE FREAK), William J. Norris (brilliant Chicago theater actor), Stephen Lee (WARGAMES, DOLLS, GHOULIES III), Frances Bay (BLUE VELVET, TWIN PEAKS: FIRE WALK WITH ME, IN THE MOUTH OF MADNESS), Rona de Ricci, Jonathan Fuller (CASTLE FREAK, CAMPFIRE TALES). Music by Richard Band (TERRORVISION, GHOULIES, PUPPET MASTER). Written by Dennis Paoli (RE-ANIMATOR, GHOULIES II, THE DENTIST), and loosely based on some of the writings of Edgar Allen Poe.
Tag-lines: "A bizarre descent into hell from the creator of RE-ANIMATOR."
Best one-liner: "What are you doing here? Why don't you go torture some heretics!"

How's it goin', Full Moon? It's been a long time. Come to torment me with more mediocre, direct-to-video genre cinema, have ye? Come to fool me into thinking I've rented PHANTASM? Cause if I squint my eyes and look at the cover, that's what it looks like. And if I had no idea what talents were involved, I think I'd have to assume- best case scenario- that the film within is something along the lines of 'PUPPET MASTER III meets DRAGONWORLD.' But lo and behold: THE PIT AND THE PENDULUM is a damned solid flick. I mean, it's not quite as good as Dreyer's LA PASSION DE JEANNE D'ARC, but it probably burns at least three times as many heretics, and in blazing Technicolor!

Actually, that was a lie, it just sounded better to say "in blazing Technicolor" than "in a murky 35mm-to-VHS transfer."

Now the first thing that's going to surprise you is the fact that this film appears, in fact, to have a budget of some kind. Estimated to have been made for only two million dollars, I find that to be pretty impressive. I mean, after craft services, extras, airfare, buying location access to a bona fide Italian castle, paying Stuart Gordon, semi-intricate period costuming, complex gore effects, retaining some recognizable actors, building a Pit and a Pendulum out of something sturdier than balsa wood– that seems like it would cost a lot of 1991 dollars. So I'm wondering exactly how much went to Lance Henriksen (to get him to prepare, fly him out, have him act for a few weeks, have him on call in case they need dubbing, pick-ups, etc.)?

It can't have been toooo much, the whole goddamn budget was $2 million. Let's pick an arbitrary figure- let's say that he commanded $150,000: 7.5% of the budget, which I think is a semi-reasonable guess given the costs of everything else. That would be for- let's say 6 weeks of hassle in all. Might have been more, might have been less. Does that mean that if I scraped together $3,500, I could get Lance Henriksen to hang out at my apartment for a day? And that $3,500 is what he'd normally earn for some grueling work- shaving his head into a whacky monk's tonsure, getting whipped, pouring his heart into his work, etc.

So it wouldn't even be demeaning to just hang out with him for half the day, shoot the shit, drink some beers... and then I could reasonably ask him to maybe do some light housework for the second half, maybe he could do some dishes while we discuss SURVIVAL QUEST. Time to start saving, I guess.

What was I talking about? Ah yes, THE PIT AND THE PENDULUM. Gordon and Dennis Paoli weave together the Spanish Inquisition, "The Pit and the Pendulum," "The Cask of Amontillado," "The Premature Burial," and a smattering of other Edgar Allen Poe elements into one big Medieval frenzy of swashbucklery, supernatural horror, and Gothic torture.


The plot concerns two innocents (originally cast as Billy Dee Williams and Sherilyn Fenn!) -

a breadmaker and his pious wife, played by Jonathan Fuller and Rona de Ricci- who are inadvertently swept up into a world of imprisonment, torture, and autos de fé. A gang of terrific character actors comprise the Inquistion, including Lance Henriksen (as Torquemada himself- a part originally intended for Peter O'Toole!), Jeffrey Combs, Mark Margolis (whose old crucifixion wounds are continually fingered by Lance), William J. Norris (who plays the Doctor with Paul Bartel-style flair), and Stephen Lee (who evinces dunderheaded charm). Additionally, they almost seem to directly prefigure the posse of colorful tormentors in Gordon's 2003 KING OF THE ANTS.

Of the crew, Henriksen gets the most screen time and by gum, does he make the most of it. He might be having a ball beneath that bitter, hardened exterior, but you really can't tell. The man looks like he is in genuine, diabolical agony for the duration.

He's not some cardboard cutout Inquisition villain- he's an anguished soul, scourged by his own spiritual hang-ups and ambigious sexual repressions, and he finds his outlet in pure, unfettered, self-serving sadism. He's got a weird SALÓ-style torture peephole and a Sword of Damocles installed in his quarters. He's got a Virgin Mary fetish and a hard-on for gettin' flagellated ("Flog me!"). Gordon's pulling out all the stops and the Catholicism clichés, all the way down to the (Buñuel-inspired?) crucifix dagger.

At one point, he screams, "NO ONE ESCAPES! NO ONE!!!" followed by a nearly endless recitation of "KILL HIMs." He must scream "KILL HIM!!!" about three thousand times in this movie, and every time ya hear it, it's just as fresh as the first time.

There's definitely an element of 'Inquisition-sploitation' to this picture, and when the innocent young maiden is stripped down and scrutinized by these ecclesiastical clowns, Henriksen must react.

What would you have him do, as a director? Go the hackneyed route? Have him twirl a mustache, or giggle lasciviously? Have him lick his lips, or look her up and down with the 'ole pervy once-over? Well, let's see what Lance Henriksen decided on:

Now that is an acting choice, ladies and gentlemen. Look at him. Does he even know they're making a movie? At this point in time, measured by the medium as 1/24th of a second, can we say for sure that there's a difference between Lance Henriksen and Tomás de Torquemada?... It's not for me to say. But goddamn, it's one hell of a performance. And he should have earned the first Oscar nomination to be affiliated with a Full Moon picture.

While not living up to Henriksen's sheer intensity, Jeffrey Combs manages to steal a little bit of the spotlight in his role as Francisco, the Inquisition's resident bookworm. Looking sort of like a Medieval Encyclopedia Brown, Combs is outfitted with a pageboy wig, some spectacles worthy of Mr. Peabody, and a demeanor that seems truly alien to us 21st Centurians.

Allow me to explain: as the film progresses, it becomes clear that Combs studied artwork contemporaneous to the Inquisition and painstakingly emulated the poses found therein. The rigidity, the arm movements, the way he peers into a book or disdainfully regards a potential "witch."

Though it doesn't call for a great deal of movement, it's an extremely physical role, and Combs makes it extremely memorable.

There's a meaty role by Lynch's favorite scary old lady, Frances Bay, as an actual witch captured by the Torquemada.

Bay is guaranteed to bring 'blood-curdlingly off-kilter' and 'adorable old lady' elements to her performances, and her "Esmerelda" here is no exception. She gets tortured, dispenses Obi-Wan Kenobi-style spiritual guidance, sounds off with wacky one-liners, and faces her stake-burning fate with gunpowder-gobbling panache (which leads to an... explosive payoff).

Stephen Lee and Mark Margolis waterboard Frances Bay.


Believe in yourself and you can overcome anything!

Just when you think you've seen it all, the Cardinal arrives to put the kibosh on Torquemada's brutality. I did a spit-take when he arrived, because, much to my surprise, the Cardinal was played by THE DEVILS' own Oliver Reed!!! He stumbles in, par for the course, swigging from a flask and mumbling in an accent that bears some similarity to that of an inebriated Italian chef.

He's all about shutting down Torquemada's operation, giggling somewhat malevolently, and murmuring things like "No-a, I tell you, I have-a de seal of de Pope!" When Torquemada offers him a few snifters from this schweet, aged cask of Amontillado, do you really think that Oliver Reed refuses?

SCHLERP

One thing leads to another, and- well, if you have any familiarity with Poe, you know how it turns out. Suffice it to say that Ollie Reed was- however fleeting- an unexpected pleasure. Full Moon, you continue to surprise me. Anyway, we finally get to that eponymous Pit and Pendulum around an hour and fifteen minutes in, and some satisfying (although fairly predictable) payoffs ensue.

I'm giving this movie four stars. I'm fairly certain it's actually a crime in some states to assign a Full Moon picture a rating such as this, but let's just run with it. For another Full Moon/Stuart Gordon/Jeffrey Combs/literary adaptation that's far better than it has any right to be, check out CASTLE FREAK.

-Sean Gill

Film Review: IN THE MOUTH OF MADNESS (1994, John Carpenter)

Stars: 5 of 5.
Running Time: 95 minutes.
Notable Cast or Crew: Sam Neill (THE PIANO, JURASSIC PARK), Julie Carmen (THE MILAGRO BEANFIELD WAR, Tarantino's epiosde of ER), Frances Bay (BLUE VELVET, TWIN PEAKS: FIRE WALK WITH ME), John Glover (52 PICK-UP, THE EVIL THAT MEN DO), Jürgen Prochnow (DAS BOOT, BODY OF EVIDENCE), Bernie Casey (REVENGE OF THE NERDS, SHARKY'S MACHINE), Peter Jason (PRINCE OF DARKNESS, THEY LIVE), Charlton Heston, David Warner (MY BEST FRIEND IS A VAMPIRE, TRON).
Tag-line: "Lived Any Good Books Lately?"
Best one-liner: "You're my mommy. Know what today is? Today is Mommy's Day!"

"What about the people who don't read?" –"There's a movie." IN THE MOUTH OF MADNESS is the last great horror movie of the 1980's (yes, I’m aware it was made in 1994). It's the sort of film that deserves a rightful place in the critical canon, yet was perhaps too intricate, too esoteric, or too labyrinthine for mass consumption. The visuals are sharp, glossy, and atmospheric, whether depicting an unearthly New England town on the cusp of autumn:

or a foreboding, black Byzantine church rising from the earth like a Stygian fist.

H.P. Lovecraft and his Cthulhu mythos are a point of departure (and the source of many a reference), but the film bursts with tropes from film noir (an insurance investigator, interrogational storytelling, and plenty of smoking), Philip K. Dick (mindfucks and illusions within delusions abound- "Reality isn't what it used to be"), and Stephen King (maybe it took a film with no concrete relation to any King story to perfectly nail the man's vibe!).

Most of the film's success rests upon Sam Neill's capable shoulders, and he remains entirely connected to the role whether he’s a debonair contrarian or a deranged head case.


AWWW, SHIIIIIT

We're afforded bold glimpses of the monsters Lovecraft deemed "indescribable," and Neill captures the ineffable dread of one's mind recoiling in terror at the sight of said monsters.


Jürgen "Did I ever tell you my favorite color was blue?" Prochnow IS Sutter Cane- bringing the ideal balance to a character who is equal parts bestsellin' hack and Judas to the human race.


The supporting roles are quite vivid, as well: an incomparable, twitchy John Glover:

Talk about the lunatics running the asylum! One of the greats.

a stately, grim David Warner:

David Warner- always a class act.

a likable, bewildered Bernie Casey; a gruffly fraudulent Peter Jason; and a charmingly off-kilter Frances Bay.

Frances Bay- she's the terrifying Grandma you always secretly wished you had.

This film takes us deep into the abyss- an endless, repeating chain of psychosis and decay- and forces us to look again and again, as if we were a playing card trapped in a bicycle wheel or a blade fused to a creaky, rusty windmill.

And the end- if we can call it that- strikes the perfect note of senseless absurdity. We’re left with no alternative other than to sit in the darkness, cackling at our own foolishness.

PFFFFFT!

Five stars.

-Sean Gill

Film Review: TWIN PEAKS- FIRE WALK WITH ME (1992, David Lynch)

Stars: 5 of 5.
Running Time: 135 minutes.
Notable Cast or Crew: Sheryl Lee, Ray Wise, Grace Zabriskie, Kyle MacLachlan, Eric DaRe, Heather Graham, David Bowie, Chris Isaak, Harry Dean Stanton, Kiefer Sutherland, Jürgen Prochnow, Miguel Ferrer, Dana Ashbrook, Mädchen Amick, Frances Bay, Walter Olkewicz, James Marshall. Music by Angelo Badalamenti.
Tag-line: "Meet Laura Palmer... In a town where nothing is as it seems... And everyone has something to hide."
Best one-liner: "Hey, slow pokes... Guess what? There's no tomorrow... Know why, baby? 'Cause it'll never get here!"

David Lynch's TWIN PEAKS: FIRE WALK WITH ME is a misunderstood masterpiece, a surrealist treatise on the psychology of abuse, the nature of evil, and a host of other (domestic) horrors. It's chilling, expressionistic, and punctuated by moments of genuine terror. Thematically, Lynch picks up where his near-apocalyptic finale left off. If the series was about peeling the veneer away from quirky, small-town America; then the movie is about peeling the veneer from the show itself. In fact, the first image of the film is, literally, a television being smashed-

Lynch is wiping the slate clean for this even darker tale; similar to the off-handed, undignified manner with which he disposed of Windom Earle (who had stolen Season 2's focus from the pure, calculating evil known as BOB). FIRE WALK WITH ME goes through the proverbial looking glass, and we're entreated to many scenes that mirror ones in the series, but which are twisted and contorted by evil (and our knowledge of the future).

In the Deer Meadow police station, we're presented with a creepy, cackling deputy and secretary who offer days-old coffee and give the FBI (Kiefer Sutherland and Chris Isaak) the runaround- it's a warped, 'other side of the mirror' reflection of Andy, Lucy, and Sheriff Truman's genuine playfulness and hospitality when we meet them in the Pilot.


At Hap's Diner, we're given a skewed version of Norma's pride and joy. Where Norma Jennings would heartbreakingly roll out the 'fancy' plastic checkered tablecloths at the thought of a notorious food critic coming to town, Irene assholishly announces, "You want to hear about our specials?.... WE DON'T HAVE ANY."

And yet, I still love Irene.

We're shown 'The Pink Room,' a north-of-the-border bar which makes One-Eyed Jack's look wholesome and serves as a depraved version of 'The Roadhouse,' with its semi-'safe' 50's juvenile delinquent-style fisticuffs from the Pilot.


The Pink Room is a veritable hell on Earth, and Ron Garcia's wobbly, disorienting cinematography makes it probably the most accurate depiction of being dangerously inebriated that I’ve ever seen.

Lynch's use of violence is startling (and similarly disorienting) at times- much like Cronenberg, he's a big fan of the one over-the-top moment of violence in the film that really pushes the envelope, even if only for a split second. Look at the decapitation-by-shotgun in WILD AT HEART, the point blank head explosion in BLUE VELVET, the rotted corpse in MULHOLLAND DR., or the dissection by glass table in LOST HIGHWAY.

Here, it's the scene where Bobby shoots a "drug dealer" whom we've seen earlier in the picture. I'd be interested in seeing Lynch's reactions when these scenes are being shot- is he beside himself with juvenile glee, or is he troubled by what 'must' be committed to celluloid in order to complete his vision?



Is this mysterious, uncredited woman really David Lynch himself in drag? I think so.


David Bowie with a Southern accent is well worth the price of admission and serves as proper penance for THE LINGUINI INCIDENT.


David Lynch's Gordon Cole. Quite possibly my favorite character.

Harry Dean Stanton does in just two scenes what most actors can't aspire to in an entire career. The quiet desperation which he breathes into "That godammed trailer's more popular that Uncle's day in a whorehouse, you see what I mean? It just means I've....more shit I gotta do now," ...goddamit, I'm about to cry over here.

The man exudes pathos with the ease that a fat man sweats. It reminds me of his big scene in DILLINGER when he says, "Things ain't workin' out for me today..."

Then, Eric "THIS IS WHERE WE LIVE, SHELLY!" DaRe brings more of his vein-bustin' ponytailed douchery to the table,

and Walter "Jacques Renault" Olkewicz is given the opportunity to revive his sloppy, slobbery French Canadian sleazebag.


Sheryl Lee channels the tradition of wide-eyed, doomed silent film heroines,

Ray Wise brings his brow-furrowing intensity to a level the series only alluded to,

and Grace Zabriskie's bug-eyed, off kilter energy is always incredible.

The denial of the victims and the rift in believing (or wanting to believe) the abuser and the ‘good’ person are two different entities has never rung so true.

Ultimately, Lynch and Badalmenti heighten the murder to such a degree that it becomes almost a religious experience- the rail car transformed into a cathedral, each blow like a strike of lightning.

We're left with a reflective ending which hints that the shitstorm at the end of Season 2 could possibly be rectified, and that perhaps the murder was necessary to properly disarrange the pieces of BOB's hateful, interdimensional puzzle (I will debate this in the comments section, if you'd like). But FIRE WALK WITH ME gazes deeply and powerfully into the abyss- a soothing enigma and a shriek unto the night- and still it leaves you with a touch of comfort and a spark of hope.

Five stars.

-Sean Gill

Well, it is one of the scariest movies of all time, so I guess it goes on the list:

2009 Halloween Countdown OVERFLOW

1. [•REC] (2007, Jaume Balagueró & Paco Plaza)
2. THE MANITOU (1978, William Girdler)
3. SLEEPWALKERS (1992, Mick Garris)
4. CUTTING CARDS (1990, Walter Hill)
5. THE LEOPARD MAN (1943, Jacques Tourneur)
6. MY BEST FRIEND IS A VAMPIRE (1987, Jimmy Huston)
7. HELLBOUND: HELLRAISER II (1988, Tony Randel)
8. TWIN PEAKS: FIRE WALK WITH ME (1992, David Lynch)
9.
...