The return of Michael Ironside... on eBay?!

Longtime readers of this blog know of my deep appreciation of all things Michael Ironside.  So you can imagine my shock/delight/jealousy upon seeing this fantastic eBay listing for the actual sword that Ironside used in the masterpiece HIGHLANDER 2.  

I've written about the glories of Ironside in that film before (albeit in the context of a tie-in movie beer commercial) as General Katana, the irritable, ratty-long-haired, possibly alien villain of the piece.  Now I'm desperately wishing I had the $9,500.00 necessary to make this obscure piece of movie ephemera from a notorious bomb my very own.

You gotta love lasher33's listing, though:

"Have you seen the "Highlander Katana"?  Of course you have...

Up close & personal probably, because there are so many copies out and about it isn't even funny anymore...

The Kurgan sword?

Sure...

Strong & stylish & brutal & well... boring... (but that is just MY impression...)

There is, however, ONE sword that had it all: style, design, power, size and a nice twist...

Unfortunately, it was lost...

The battle was fierce, the clashes real and one after the other was destroyed until there wasn't any left.

Or so they thought... 8 were made, but only 7 were destroyed during the filming of the movie.

The sword Michael Ironside used in the fighting scenes of Highlander II: The Quickening has proven to be immortal itself.

Granted, the movie itself was erm... crap... and yet, the sword is the most powerful ever made. Period.

As far as I can tell, it has never been on display anywhere as I bought it straight from the guys that made it way back in 1991, right before the film was released.

Interested?

Remember: "There can be only ONE!"

Anybody who bellows "THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE!" in regard to a HIGHLANDER 2-related eBay auction probably deserves your $9,500.00.

Giant Oscar Mess: Best (Non-Dance) Duel

In my continuing coverage of GIANT OSCAR MESS (best described HERE), I present to you the nominees for BEST (NON-DANCE) DUEL IN A MOTION PICTURE. Lorenzo Lamas continues on as the Meryl Streep of the GIANT OSCAR MESS and Junta Juleil faves Michael Ironside and Jean-Claude Van Damme enter the fray.

You can watch the clips HERE. (The vast corporate flagging device built-in to YouTube has disabled embedding.)




And the winner was...

...Jean-Claude Van Damme...

...vs. Truck.

(To be continued)

Film Review: NOT QUITE HOLLYWOOD (2009, Mark Hartley)

Stars: 3.9 of 5.
Running Time: 103 minutes.
Notable Cast or Crew: Interviews or archive footage with everyone from Richard Franklin (ROADGAMES), Jamie Lee Curtis, Stacy Keach, Dennis Hopper, George Miller (MAD MAX), Russell Mulcahy (HIGHLANDER), Ted Kotcheff (RAMBO, WEEKEND AT BERNIE'S), George Lazenby (ON HER MAJESTY'S SECRET SERVICE), Steve Railsback, Jeremy Thomas, Quentin Tarantino, Rod Taylor, Bruce Beresford (BREAKER MORANT), Alan Arkin, Henry Silva, Broderick Crawford, David Hemmings, Christopher Lee, Olivia Hussey, James Mason, George Peppard, Donald Pleasence, and Lesley Ann Warren.
Tag-line: "Finally an Aussie film packed full of boobs, pubes, tubes ... and a bit of kung fu."

Grab a "thick, crunchy hamburger," sit back, relax, and enjoy a measured overview of that oft-forgotten, oft-maligned genre: 'Ozploitation.' Now, there's not much depth to this film, the reality-TV style (different, generic, upbeat music cues every 25 seconds; the inability to hold a shot for more than 2 seconds) is frequently obnoxious, and a lot of your enjoyment will hinge on your ability to tolerate Quentin Tarantino, but the absurd clips, psychotic personalities, and colorful anecdotes go a long way.

If you can't even stomach this photograph, you'd do best to stay away.

See the one-armed censor; endless vomit; a Mondo-style film called AUSTRALIA AFTER DARK; Henry Silva dangling 70 feet above the ground without a safety net; clips from Russell Mulcahy's early 'giant warthog' flick RAZORBACK; and endless, marauding biker gangs, scouring the Outback for people to fuck with! You hear about a washed-up David Hemmings' drunken directorial style, Richard Franklin’s big break with the coma-horror flick PATRICK (immediately ripped-off by Italians, and later by KILL BILL), the xenophobia faced by Jamie Lee Curtis and Stacy Keach while starring in Franklin's ROADGAMES, Steve Railsback delivering semi-coherent rants, and Dennis Hopper pronounced dead while filming MAD DOG MORGAN.

Hopper, in fact, survived.

Witness the miracle of marsupial werewolf birth in HOWLING 3:

live ammo fired at Railsback in TURKEY SHOOT (a.k.a. ESCAPE 2000 on DVD):

Railsback shot at FOR REAL.

George Lazenby on fire for real in THE MAN FROM HONG KONG; a possessed game of Chinese Checkers in HARLEQUIN (a.k.a. DARK FORCES on DVD); and majestic, SHINING-style, bone-chilling cinematography in NEXT OF KIN. You’re forced to respect these filmmakers’ ingenuity, their commitment to trash cinema, and their nonchalance about risking life and limb for movies about giant alligators, killer bikers, or naked ladies who take lots of showers. It’s almost like if a dozen quasi-Herzogs were unleashed upon the heyday of American International. So if you can stomach the periodically inane presentation, NOT QUITE HOLLYWOOD is well worth a watch.

-Sean Gill