Thursday, September 25, 2014

Only now does it occur to me... PRETTY WOMAN

Only now does it occur to me... that PRETTY WOMAN is a remake of... CROCODILE DUNDEE!

Okay, so here goes:  wealthy, New York professional (exec Richard Gere in PRETTY WOMAN, reporter Linda Kozlowski in CROCODILE DUNDEE) who works a job they existentially-but-not-yet-consciously dislike thanks to a controlling father (Gere's dad left him the company-buying business in PRETTY WOMAN, Kozlowski's dad owns Newsday in DUNDEE) travels a great distance (L.A. in PRETTY WOMAN, Australia in DUNDEE) to meet a charming-yet-seedy underdog (back alley hooker Julia Roberts in PRETTY WOMAN, outback madman Paul Hogan in DUNDEE) whose services they hire out for a sum ($3,000 in PRETTY WOMAN, $2,500 in DUNDEE), and after a week of awkward interactions with elitist yuppies, they fall in love, nearly break up due to a misunderstanding, and then get back together, cemented by a grand romantic gesture on the part of the New York professional.


 
 

But wait, there's more:  here are the TOP 3 INCREDIBLY SPECIFIC SIMILARITIES BETWEEN PRETTY WOMAN AND CROCODILE DUNDEE ASIDE FROM THE PLOT, THE CHARACTERS, AND EVERYTHING ELSE I ALREADY DESCRIBED:

#3.  While put up in a fancy hotel by the New York professional, the charming-yet-seedy underdogs both see fit to watch reruns of I LOVE LUCY.

 
 


#2.  Then, the charming-yet-seedy underdog takes a luxurious bubble bath, and sings aloud, only to be discovered by their New York professional who finds the behavior to be extraordinarily endearing.


#1.  Finally, and most incredibly, both films present a pair of friendly streetwalkers who
 (nevermind that it's a bit part in DUNDEE and our main characters in PRETTY WOMAN)

lead us to an alleyway confrontation with low-level pimps


I really want you to take note of the skateboard switchblade.... which might I add is not a knife, because THAT is a knife.

that ends with our hero being rescued by his black chaffeur/sidekick.

Reginald VelJohnson in DUNDEE.

 
 R. Darrell Hunter in PRETTY WOMAN.

That's what I call pretty fuckin' specific.  Therefore, I believe my case is closed, and from this point forward, instead of referring to PRETTY WOMAN as "the benchmark for romantic comedy," "the Julie Roberts hooker movie," or "obligatory date night viewing," we can now refer to it by its proper title:  "the American remake of CROCODILE DUNDEE."

5 comments:

Daniel Wallin said...

The "punch" sound FX in Crocodile Dundee is extraordinary. Like the colliding of comets or the almighty CRACK of a new universe being formed.

Cannon said...

I've got another one for ya:

The famous necklace scene where Gere playfully snaps the box shut on Robert's fingers ...as a visual metaphor of the croc that snaps its jaws on Linda Kozlowski's necklaced Nokia.

Thin? Maybe. But I'm throwin' it out there nonetheless.

Sean Gill said...

Daniel,

I always thought Croc Dundee was a purveyor of higher cosmic truths- now I know why– WHOMMP! KRAKKK!


Cannon,

I'm gonna go ahead and say you're right on the money there. Good one!

J.D. Lafrance said...

I'm just gonna go ahead and say it - at that moment in time, Linda Kozlowski was hotter than Julia Roberts. That scene where she almost gets zapped by the croc. Wow.

Not surprisingly, both movies have not aged well at all.

Interesting comparison, though. I had no idea!

Sean Gill said...

J.D.,

I'll cast another vote for Kozlowski! Besides, Julia Roberts never did a John Carpenter movie (Linda's in VILLAGE OF THE DAMNED).