This is another feature-length fusion of four episodes of the mid-1980s animated series DROIDS. TREASURE OF THE HIDDEN PLANET is written by Ben Burtt (STAR WARS' iconic sound designer) and stars a character named Mungo Baobob who is basically Kenny Loggins and/or Jesus.
It takes cojones to name your protagonist "Mungo Baobob." He gets a solid "Bob Vance, Vance Refrigeration" moment
where he says he's "Mungo Baobab of the Baobab Merchant Fleet." This is *chef's kiss*-style good writing. Anyway.
Now, there is a hell of a lot going on here, and I only have the patience to scratch the surface. So, if you'll buckle up, here are ten bizarro minutiae from TREASURE OF THE HIDDEN PLANET.
#1. This is probably the most important. To the degree that people were pissed off when they learned that R2-D2 could fly in REVENGE OF THE SITH but never used that power before or since, they ought to be delighted that TREASURE OF THE HIDDEN PLANET reveals R2-D2 has been keeping his motherfuckin' breakdance moves a secret until now.
He puts some lukewarm alien calypso on the jukebox, apropos of nothing, and just starts busting moves. He's windmilling, he's jackhammering, he's moonwalking, he's poppin' his goddamn lid.
Really top-notch stuff. It's too bad George never licensed any STAR WARS spin-offs to Cannon Films.
#2. The plot. To the point at which random MacGuffins seasoned with a hearty dose of sci-fi technology can function as a genuine plot, I guess what we're looking at here is a treasure buried on a secret Sith planet
which is disguised by a massive dust cloud called "The Cloak of Sith." The only way to find it is to have C-3PO translate an ancient artifact/miniature pyramid thing
which can unlock the secret of the mysterious star system. If you haven't fallen asleep yet, you may note that this is almost exactly the nuts & bolts of the Exegol/Sith Wayfinder plot in J.J. Abrams' THE RISE OF SKYWALKER. Given that they took Kylo Ren/Kybo Ren from an old episode of DROIDS already, I think we can pretty much assume they lifted this wholesale.
#3. There's a moment where C-3PO's memory is about to be wiped, and his tormentor asks him what name he would like to be called by in his new iteration.
He stops just short of saying "Anthony Daniels," the actor who plays C-3PO (and who is voicing him here in the cartoon, as well).
#4. The Trouble with Tribble/Muppets. There's a subplot with alien creatures who are halfway between STAR TREK's Tribbles and the muppet aliens who sing "Mahna Mahna" on THE MUPPET SHOW.
This is mostly a device so we can see the answers to the questions "what would C-3PO look like in an ash-blonde wig?"
and "how well he would rock a beard?"
The answers are "not as good as you'd think," and "remarkably well," respectively.
#5. R2-D2 finally gets a medal. Most classic STAR WARS nerds' ire was directed at the fact that Chewbacca didn't get a medal at the end of A NEW HOPE, but R2-D2 really put his ass on the line, too, and hey, whaddya know, the little guy finally got one.
Of course it's for winning a horse/tauntaun/thing race, and not for getting his dome singed in the Battle of Yavin.
#6. Speaking of which, this pivotal race on so-called "rockhoppers" ends up being a unfortunately long-winded part of the story
and I'm fairly certain that it inspired both the "Fathier racetrack" in THE LAST JEDI
as well as the annoying, two-headed announcer from the extremely "wizard" podrace in THE PHANTOM MENACE:
So this is more, seemingly endless evidence of the outsize influence DROIDS played in the prequel and sequel trilogies. So weird.
#7. And love how they have R2-D2 astride this hot-dog space horse. How does he stay on there?
Really dignified stuff.
#8. The villains. We have the Imperial officer version of Doctor Claw on the one hand,
and on the other we basically have Oliver North-funded space Contras
who commit war crimes, atrocities, mind-flaying, etc.
Sort of a strange juxtaposition for a kids' cartoon, but, hey, it was the Reagan years. Gotta educate 'em on right-wing banana republics sometime.
Also there're Cthulhu priests wandering around here, too. The live-action version of this would be too disturbing for a PG rating, I'm sure.
#9. R2-D2 is always turning up new and increasingly phallic capabilities. Turns out he contains an entire 10-foot fire hose
for when you need to wash away the mud creatures tormenting C-3PO.
Spoiler alert: it's not
And a curiously-placed 3PO leash for when the golden boy is showing too much self-determination.
#10. An escalating circus of sexuality, the likes of which we haven't seen since SPLINTER OF THE MIND'S EYE. As I've written previously, the DROIDS series seems dedicated to placing a lot of STAR WARS' sexual subtext directly into the "text."
Interesting aside: when a grotesque droid named LIN-D decides to make a play and mack on R2-D2
he quickly realizes his mistake, and consequently invites 3PO to the party as well.
But 3PO shuts it down outright, because 3PO don't swing:
Elsewhere, when they land on a snow planet, R2-D2 escalates the situation by immediately making some extremely suggestive spread-eagle snow angels
which prompts a scolding from 3PO:
That's it––it's canon now: when the Rebels first landed on Hoth before the events of THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK, R2 was exclusively doing this for months while they built Echo Base.
Finally, due to some fuzzy plotting and a "shrinking mirror"
R2 gets HONEY, I SHRUNK THE KIDS'd. Naturally, C-3PO's first reaction is to
toss him inside his empty (?!) abdominal cavity.
I've never been more confident that someone is getting off on this.
Anyway: DROIDS, ladies and gentlemen.
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