Junta Juleil's Culture Shock

Saturday, October 24, 2009

Film Review: PIECES (1982, Juan Piquer Simón)

Stars: 5 of 5.
Running Time: 89 minutes.
Notable Cast or Crew: Christopher George (Vanna White's uncle, ENTER THE NINJA, THE EXTERMINATOR), Lynda Day George (his wife, CHISUM, DAY OF THE ANIMALS), Edmund Purdom (2019: AFTER THE FALL OF NEW YORK, THE DIARY OF ANNE FRANK), Paul L. Smith (Bluto in Altman's POPEYE, Lynch's DUNE, MIDNIGHT EXPRESS), and Jack Taylor (THE NINTH GATE, CONAN THE BARBARIAN). Written by Joe D'Amato.
Tag-line: "You don't have to go to Texas for a chainsaw massacre..." and "It's exactly what you think it is!!!"
Best one-liner: "Who knows? Right now we're just buying clothes without labels and trying them on for size."

Holy Mother of God- even in the blood, sweat, and Campari-soaked annals of Euro-sleaze cinema, PIECES is truly something special. Directed by unhinged Spaniard Juan Piquer Simón and written by by scuzzy Italo-trashtermind Joe D'Amato, PIECES is a mash-up of giallo traditions, THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE, and the All-American Sorority Slasher.

The set-up is genius: a little boy works on a nudie jigsaw puzzle.

Mom bursts in and starts bustin' shit up, screaming "I'll KILL YOU!"

and the kid counters by delivering an axe to her forehead.

The moral: don't mess with an 8 year-old's porn stash. We cut immediately to a gal wrecking her skateboard into a gigantic mirror in slow-mo.

'Why?' you ask? Just don't worry about it.

Then there's murders, black gloves, creepy groundskeepers, badly dubbed screaming, the works. The cops send in Christopher George to investigate. He's doing a whole lot of eyebrow indicating and the like, but who cares, cause so's the entire cast. "Stop calling me Doc, I'm a psychiatrist, NOT A DOCTOR OF MEDICINE!!" Well, actually, you are, but whatever. "You'll be playing so much tennis it'll be coming out of your ears!" Well, let's hope so. "I want you to run a complete check on the staff- full background, in depth- if you have to, use the department's FULL BUDGET!"

Now that strikes me as just plain irresponsible. Anyway, there's sleazy jazz ballet

(I think Castellari's proclivity toward asscrack is outdone by the 'pubes through tights' here- yikes), the killer successfully conceals a chainsaw behind his back in an elevator, and "BASTARRRRD!" is screamed to the heavens (three times). There's more mind-blowing police work ("Take some uppers or something-JUST GET ME A LEAD!") and suspects are deputized ("What the hell, you're practically on the force anyway"). And one scene is too ridiculous to be described, but know that an Asian's erratic behavior is blamed on "Bad chop suey." It builds to a mind-blowing denouement that A. makes no sense, and B. involves bloody balls-grabbing.

Clearly five stars.

But then there's the Spanish-language version. The director's preferred cut. And while the visuals themselves remain the same, we've got a new title and a new soundtrack. The new title, of course, is MIL GRITOS TIENE LA NOCHE– ONE THOUSAND CRIES HAS THE NIGHT. Heavy stuff. But the soundtrack comes out of left field: no longer is there terrible, utterly generic rip-off Goblin, there's a blended, tonal, piano-heavy, emotionally-affecting, Ennio Morricone meets Philip Glass by way of Chopin soundtrack by Librado Pastor. Though the filmmaking itself still remains largely incompetent and laughable, holy shit– this thing has a dark, swirling, driving flow to it. You're not really laughing anymore, per sé, you're held rapt by it. It's still a confusing mess, but it has a tonal flavor and a palpable atmosphere now. I highly recommend watching both versions.

-Sean Gill

2009 Halloween Countdown

31. PROM NIGHT (1980, Paul Lynch)
30. PHENOMENA (1985, Dario Argento)
29. HOUSE OF WAX (1953, André de Toth)
28. SILENT RAGE (1982, Michael Miller)
27. BASKET CASE (1982, Frank Henenlotter)
26. THE DEADLY SPAWN (1983, Douglas McKeown)
25. PELTS (2006, Dario Argento)
24. ANGEL HEART (1987, Alan Parker)
23. KILLER WORKOUT (1986, David A. Prior)
22. FREDDY'S DEAD: THE FINAL NIGHTMARE (1991, Rachel Talalay)
21. THE ABOMINABLE DR. PHIBES (1971, Robert Fuest)
20. FRANKENHOOKER (1990, Frank Henenlotter)
19. HELLRAISER (1987, Clive Barker)
18. GEEK MAGGOT BINGO (1983, Nick Zedd)
17. ALLIGATOR (1980, Lewis Teague)
16. LIZARD IN A WOMAN'S SKIN (1971, Lucio Fulci)
15. THE CARD PLAYER (2004, Dario Argento)
14. SPASMO (1974, Umberto Lenzi)
13. C.H.U.D. (1984, Douglas Cheek)
12. FRIDAY THE 13TH PART III (1982, Steve Miner)
11. SWAMP THING (1982, Wes Craven)
10. DIARY OF THE DEAD (2008, George A. Romero)
9. THE LAIR OF THE WHITE WORM (1988, Ken Russell)
8. PIECES (1982, Juan Piquer Simón)
7.
...

Friday, October 23, 2009

Time Out New York on STAGE BLOOD IS NEVER ENOUGH

From the latest issue of Time Out New York, Issue 374: October 22-28, 2009:

"Stage Blood is Never Enough. *Cheap Pick* Burlesque and 80's horror meet at last in this evening of deconstructed (dismembered?) variety acts that exploit our cultish love for Jasons and Freddies and summer campers with a death wish."

Only one performance remains (the 29th @ 9:30 PM), and a sold out show is expected, so make your reservations now! Details are available HERE. Reservations are available HERE.

Film Review: THE LAIR OF THE WHITE WORM (1988, Ken Russell)

Stars: 4.2 of 5.
Running Time: 93 minutes.
Notable Cast or Crew: Amanda Donohoe, Hugh Grant, Catherine Oxenberg, Peter Capaldi, Sammi Davis (Charlie's mother on TV's LOST), Gina McKee (NAKED, CROUPIER, MIRRORMASK).
Tag-line: None that I could find.
Best one-liner: [throws Snakes n' Ladders into the fireplace] Rosebud.

Now, I've never read Bram Stoker's (final) novel, THE LAIR OF THE WHITE WORM, but I'm willing to go out on a limb and bet that the finale doesn't involve a giant, prehistoric strap-on. No one would ever accuse Ken Russell (British madman, provocateur, and director of THE DEVILS, TOMMY, and WOMEN IN LOVE) of subtlety, and what he lays out here is aesthetically and conceptually astounding, and ranks among his best works. Visually, it feels almost as if the CREMASTER films were infused with camp: there's classical, painterly compositions; frantic dream sequences approximating 2-strip Technicolor and involving nun rape, the Crucifixion, and a ravenous albino serpent;

jaw-droppingly beautiful shots of yawning caverns and the tranquil English countryside; the disorienting grandeur of the fishbowl lens; and puppet effects that are at once hilarious and macabre.

Hugh Grant is Lord James D'Ampton, our snobby douche hero who faces off against an immortal worm-god with the sort of mild bemusement that only a Brit can get away with.

Peter Capaldi (LOCAL HERO, DANGEROUS LIAISONS) is our bag-pipe playing, snake-charming Scottish archeologist and Catherine Oxenberg (CHARLES AND DIANA: UNHAPPILY EVER AFTER) is our damsel in distress.

But stealing the show is clearly Amanda Donohoe (THE MADNESS OF KING GEORGE, Roeg's CASTAWAY) as our slithery snake-woman: spitting urine-looking venom on a crucifix

(I think even Andres Serrano is impressed), playing snakes n' ladders, perching herself in trees whilst wearing high heels, seducing boy scouts,

slinking about, wriggling here and there,

and sinking her fangs into a host of fleshy parts.

Yeah, this movie is ludicrous. But it's intellectual, too- surface imagery of white vacuum tubes, hoses, and other snake-like visual puns gives way to a latent primordialist exploration (á la ALTERED STATES) of hermaphroditism, pagan rituals, human sacrifice, original sin, and ingrained Ophidiophobia. Whew! Four stars.

-Sean Gill

2009 Halloween Countdown

31. PROM NIGHT (1980, Paul Lynch)
30. PHENOMENA (1985, Dario Argento)
29. HOUSE OF WAX (1953, André de Toth)
28. SILENT RAGE (1982, Michael Miller)
27. BASKET CASE (1982, Frank Henenlotter)
26. THE DEADLY SPAWN (1983, Douglas McKeown)
25. PELTS (2006, Dario Argento)
24. ANGEL HEART (1987, Alan Parker)
23. KILLER WORKOUT (1986, David A. Prior)
22. FREDDY'S DEAD: THE FINAL NIGHTMARE (1991, Rachel Talalay)
21. THE ABOMINABLE DR. PHIBES (1971, Robert Fuest)
20. FRANKENHOOKER (1990, Frank Henenlotter)
19. HELLRAISER (1987, Clive Barker)
18. GEEK MAGGOT BINGO (1983, Nick Zedd)
17. ALLIGATOR (1980, Lewis Teague)
16. LIZARD IN A WOMAN'S SKIN (1971, Lucio Fulci)
15. THE CARD PLAYER (2004, Dario Argento)
14. SPASMO (1974, Umberto Lenzi)
13. C.H.U.D. (1984, Douglas Cheek)
12. FRIDAY THE 13TH PART III (1982, Steve Miner)
11. SWAMP THING (1982, Wes Craven)
10. DIARY OF THE DEAD (2008, George A. Romero)
9. THE LAIR OF THE WHITE WORM (1988, Ken Russell)
8.
...

Thursday, October 22, 2009

PinkRayGun interviews STAGE BLOOD IS NEVER ENOUGH's Rachel Klein (Part One)

This is Part 1 of an interview series with Rachel Klein, director and choreographer of my plays GO-GO KILLERS!, AENIGMA, OUR PRISON, and several of the pieces in my new show, STAGE BLOOD IS NEVER ENOUGH. They talk about horror, glittery blood, the state of theater, and yours truly. The first part of Teresa Jusino's piece can be found HERE.

STAGE BLOOD IS NEVER ENOUGH opens Tonight, 10/22 at 9:30PM!

All the pertinent details are HERE and reservations are available HERE. Enjoy!

Film Review: DIARY OF THE DEAD (2008, George A. Romero)

Stars: 4.3 of 5.
Running Time: 95 minutes.
Notable Cast or Crew: Martin Roach (here playing "Stranger," and he's a very talented actor usually confined to 'prison guard,' 'cop,' and 'doctor' roles- TOTAL RECALL 2070, WHO IS CLETIS TOUT?, THE LOOKOUT), Scott Wentworth (the awesome arrow-slinging Professor Maxwell here, THE ICE STORM, KUNG FU THE LEGEND CONTINUES), Michelle Morgan, Joshua Close (K-19 THE WIDOWMAKER), Amy Lalonde, Joe Dinicol (the EERIE INDIANA episode, "The Phantom"), Alan Van Sprang (LAND OF THE DEAD), and voice cameos by Quentin Tarantino, Stephen King, Guillermo del Toro, Wes Craven, and Simon Pegg. Special Makeup Effects by Greg Nicotero.
Tag-line: "Shoot the dead."
Best one-liner: "Don't bury dead. First shoot in head."

DIARY OF THE DEAD is a fast-paced, creative zombie thriller, with spectacular makeup effects and excellent performances. It’s a work as hilarious as it is disquieting.

There's haunting imagery of underwater zombies, a Shakespearian lush of a Professor, sharp commentary on class and race, some terrifying National Guardsmen, and the greatest Amish character in film history (I will say no more about it).

So why did so many people, including seasoned Romero zombie fans, not just dislike it, but outright HATE it? Well, in a way, Romero purposely stacks the deck against himself, but it's completely necessary for delving into the material he wishes to cover:

#1. The shaky cam. People bristle at this. But in an era where the dogged documentation of self-experience has proliferated to sickening levels, it becomes necessary. On a more positive note, this is also meant to function as a document of the thankfully increasingly prevalent outsider media- look at TROUBLE THE WATER, for example.

#2. The students are generally selfish, pretentious, and self-important: a lot of people look at the surface commentary here with the same disdain they hold for certain characters.

But that's doing Romero's meta-meta commentary a cruel disservice. It's easy to mistake the students' perspective for the film's because it is so frequently and overtly referenced (i.e., the voiceover narration). But Romero's commentary covers both the events depicted AND the students' commentary. Which leads me to:

#3. No one likes to be called an idiot. A mindless, self-absorbed numbnuts who fiddles while Rome burns. This is the number one reason the people who dislike this film react so negatively. Because, that's right, Romero is calling YOU out. Yeah, you asshole. You're the same fuck-mooks who wildly film yourselves in Times Square, harass celebrities for autographs, or fumble for your cell phone camera after a car accident. You're the same people who conduct yourselves as what Herzog calls 'perpetual tourists' instead of 'citizens of the world.'
Kindly old George is calling you out from behind those ginormous spectacles, and you don't like that.

I can’t say I blame you, but it’s a pity you didn’t learn anything from it.

-Sean Gill

2009 Halloween Countdown

31. PROM NIGHT (1980, Paul Lynch)
30. PHENOMENA (1985, Dario Argento)
29. HOUSE OF WAX (1953, André de Toth)
28. SILENT RAGE (1982, Michael Miller)
27. BASKET CASE (1982, Frank Henenlotter)
26. THE DEADLY SPAWN (1983, Douglas McKeown)
25. PELTS (2006, Dario Argento)
24. ANGEL HEART (1987, Alan Parker)
23. KILLER WORKOUT (1986, David A. Prior)
22. FREDDY'S DEAD: THE FINAL NIGHTMARE (1991, Rachel Talalay)
21. THE ABOMINABLE DR. PHIBES (1971, Robert Fuest)
20. FRANKENHOOKER (1990, Frank Henenlotter)
19. HELLRAISER (1987, Clive Barker)
18. GEEK MAGGOT BINGO (1983, Nick Zedd)
17. ALLIGATOR (1980, Lewis Teague)
16. LIZARD IN A WOMAN'S SKIN (1971, Lucio Fulci)
15. THE CARD PLAYER (2004, Dario Argento)
14. SPASMO (1974, Umberto Lenzi)
13. C.H.U.D. (1984, Douglas Cheek)
12. FRIDAY THE 13TH PART III (1982, Steve Miner)
11. SWAMP THING (1982, Wes Craven)
10. DIARY OF THE DEAD (2008, George A. Romero)
9.
...

Wednesday, October 21, 2009