Saturday, November 1, 2008

Film Review: STEPFATHER II: MAKE ROOM FOR DADDY (1989, Jeff Burr)

Stars: 4 of 5.
Running Time: 93 minutes.
Notable Cast or Crew: Terry O'Quinn, Miriam Byrd-Nethery, Meg Foster, Jonathan Brandis, Caroline Williams.
Tag-line: " Tonight - Daddy's Coming Home - To Slice Up More Than Just The Cake!"
Best one-liner(s): "I think it's time I cracked out this bottle–" [CRASH]
"Well, my last house had a basement workshop... I like to work with my hands."

"MAKE ROOM FOR DADDY! MAKE ROOM FOR DADDY!" All Terry O'Quinn wants is a nice family, that's all he wants. I totally believe him, too. Each time he tries to make it work, they just keep disappointing him. If only they would just be the perfect family, just GIVE a little, instead of TAKE and TAKE and TAKE and TAKE, then Terry wouldn't have to murder them and start over. Make no mistake, the Stepfather is the protagonist and the hero of these films. It was topical for the time, too. Lots of divorces, lots of remarriages, lots of stepfathers. And you know what, these stepfathers were getting the short end of the stick. They weren't getting a fresh start or a perfect family, they were getting a lot of smartass snot-nosed teens acting like D-bags, sniffling and saying stuff like 'You're not my REAL dad!' And how are you supposed to deal with that? Well, watch the movie and find out.

This time around, Terry is trying to hook up with the evil chick from THEY LIVE, which by no means makes me root any less for Terry O'Quinn. (It also features a rare appearance by Miriam Byrd-Nethery, legend in her own right and wife of Clu Gulager.) Anyway, a snot-nosed kid, a dippy ex-husband, a shrewish harpy neighbor later, and guess what happens. Yeah, the perfect family turned out to be a bunch of backstabbing a-holes.

They don't deserve you, Terry O'Quinn. Just pack up and walk away. I swear, there's gotta be a perfect family out there somewhere for you...

-Sean Gill


Janet said...

I found your review for this on Netflix, you are hilarious.

Sean Gill said...

Thanks; I got some whacky stuff lined up for the site, I hope you enjoy it!