Tuesday, May 31, 2016

Only now does it occur to me... BLINDSIDE

Only now does it occur to me... that there's only one venue where one can see Harvey Keitel with an Abe Lincoln beard playing a washed-up scientist-turned-sleazy hotel manager in a poor man's 80s remake of THE CONVERSATION. That venue is "BLINDSIDE."

From the director (Paul Lynch) and composer (Paul Zaza) of PROM NIGHT, comes an experiment in suspense and watered-down De Palma. Keitel features neither of his trademarks: gratuitous full-frontal nudity, nor extended scream-weeping. (See also: BAD LIEUTENANT.)

For a variety of reasons, just trust me when I say you're better off skippin' this one.


Cannon said...

All I'm getting from these images is an alt-history vibe where Hollywood had attempted an X-Men movie in the mid 80s, with Keitel as Wolverine. I mean, seriously, just look at him here.

Director? Well, say, Cameron, Verhoeven or McTiernan would've perhaps been too self-evident; Albert Pyun too schlock. At just the right vintage, I nominate the following:

Jack Sholder
Steven M. Lisberger
Mark L. Lester
Russell Mulchahy
Wolfgang Petersen
Tobe Hooper

Additional cast:
Peter Weller
Meg Foster
Tim Thomerson
Keith Gordon
Brad Dourif
Cynthia Rhodes
Sho Kosugi
Brion James

and Patrick Stewart

Sean Gill said...


I'm gonna give the gig to Mulcahy, I think, though Mark L. Lester would also rock it very hard.

I imagine Brad Dourif is Magneto and Peter Weller is Cyclops, given he can reuse part of his ROBOCOP visor? I also assume Meg Foster is playing Mystique and that no special effect will be necessary since the camera will capture the subtle reverberations of her insane ice-blue eyes? And if Brion James is Sabertooth, that means we get some nice Keitel vs. James crazy-eye.

I also think we should throw in Dennis Hopper as a secondary human villain, like a business magnate or corrupt high school principal.