Friday, December 25, 2015

Film Review: DIE HARD (1988, John McTiernan)

Stars: 5 of 5.
Running Time: 131 minutes.
Notable Cast or Crew:  Starring Bruce Willis (BLIND DATE, HUDSON HAWK), Bonnie Bedelia (SALEM'S LOT, THE BOY WHO COULD FLY), Reginald VelJohnson (GHOSTBUSTERS, TURNER & HOOCH), Paul Gleason (THE BREAKFAST CLUB, MANIAC COP 3), William Atherton (GHOSTBUSTERS, BIODOME), Hart Bochner (TERROR TRAIN, SUPERGIRL), James Shigeta (Sam Fuller's THE CRIMSON KIMONO, Takeshi Kitano's BROTHER), Alan Rickman (ROBIN HOOD: PRINCE OF THIEVES, BOB ROBERTS), Alexander Godunov (WITNESS, THE MONEY PIT), Al Leong (LETHAL WEAPON, BILL & TED'S EXCELLENT ADVENTURE), Dennis Hayden (MURPHY'S LAW, ANOTHER 48 HRS.), Robert Davi (THE GOONIES, LICENSE TO KILL), Grand L. Bush (DEMOLITION MAN, LETHAL WEAPON), Mary Ellen Trainor (LETHAL WEAPON, THE GOONIES), Tracy Reiner (A LEAGUE OF THEIR OWN, APOLLO 13).  Based on the novel by Roderick Thorp (THE DETECTIVE, DEVLIN).  Written by Jeb Stuart (LOCKUP, THE FUGITIVE) and Steven E. de Souza (COMMANDO, 48 HRS.). Music by Michael Kamen (TOP GUN, X-MEN).  Cinematography by Jan de Bont (FLESH + BLOOD, BASIC INSTINCT).  Casting by Jackie Burch (PREDATOR, THE BREAKFAST CLUB). 
Tag-line: "Twelve terrorists. One cop. The odds are against John McClane... That's just the way he likes it."
Best one-liner: "Now I have a machine gun. Ho, ho, ho."

How is it that I've been at this for eight Christmases and have never reviewed DIE HARD, a film that's certainly a prime contender for "Best Christmas Movie of All Time" (though originally released in July '88) and "Best Action Movie of All Time?"  It's probably because I felt that there was little I could write that hadn't already been written.

...But I'll say it all anyway: DIE HARD is a meticulously crafted work of kinetic perfection; the action movie equivalent of a Rolls-Royce, a Swiss watch, a Fabergé egg.  It has moments of subtle, white-knuckle suspense worthy of Hitchcock, but isn't afraid to juxtapose them with orgies of exploding squibs, sparks, and disintegrating sugar glass straight out of COMMANDO.


The set-up is deceptively simple; essentially a skyscraper chamber-piece.  "Twelve terrorists, thirty hostages, and one surly cop in the wrong place at the right time."  It draws us in with pedestrian scenes of airports, Christmas parties, and marital tension before snapping its trap shut on the flawed yet noble John McClane (Bruce Willis), our breezy-but-occasionally-tortured blue-collar everyman hero. We like him because he wants to ride in the front seat of the limo with the driver. We like him because he's naive enough to think the bigger the teddy bear he buys, the more of a hit he'll be with the kids.

Alec Baldwin later delivers the exact same teddy to his kid in McTiernan's HUNT FOR RED OCTOBER.

We understand his apprehension at his wife's reverting to her maiden name


but roll our eyes at how he handles it later, mid-argument. We appreciate that he doesn't overreact when he's smooched by a man at the Christmas party,

but note that he can't resist muttering "Fuckin' California," afterward.

Within a three-minute span, he grapples with his impotence in the face of a female breadwinner, and then the impotence of his one handgun versus twelve machine-gunning terrorists.

In this––the key moment of fight or flight––he in fact flees the overwhelming odds in order to regroup and reorganize. John McClane is the human animal, warts and all.  As he describes himself, "the fly in the ointment, the monkey in the wrench,"

and therefore he must react, adapt, create, destroy, and survive.  It ain't called DIE EASY.

By the time the shit hits the fan, we slowly realize that director John McTiernan and screenwriter Steven E. de Souza are actually chess masters, skillfully arranging the characters across the board of Nakatomi Plaza.  Our king is without shoes, and on the move.  There's a knight hiding in the parking garage, unawares.  And a pawn might just cross the board entirely to become a major player... 

In how it relays exposition, sets up spatial relationships, and allows the audience to occasionally know more than principals, DIE HARD ought to be studied in film schools as the quintessence of action storytelling.  Books could be written about how it accomplishes what it does, though unfortunately, I don't have the time.  So, without further ado, allow me to share fifteen of the (many) things that make DIE HARD so special for me:

#15.  Willis' schmacting.

Ohh, he's over the top.  And ohh, it works. Fresh off of MOONLIGHTING and BLIND DATE, he's usually overindicating, eyebrows furrowed, mouth agape,

and much of the film is him, alone, talking to himself, shouting things like "Think, goddamnit, think!"  Throughout this, he's effortlessly likable, and I'm not so sure Willis has figured that out yet.

...Which is a good thing.  See also: the latter-half of Willis' career.


#14. Argyle (De'voreaux White).  As Willis' kooky, teenage limo driver, Argyle rocks out to Run-D.M.C., enjoys an evening with the mini-bar (and the giant teddy), and is smoother with the ladies than Stefan Urquelle. 

Argyle shoulda had his own 80s sitcom.  Shoulda been called ARGYLE.


 #13.  Hart Bochner as Ellis, a coked-out yuppie wheeler-dealer and epitome of 80s L.A.  (I'll always  wonder if he was inspired by Hollywood execs McTiernan and de Souza had known.)

He delivers the film's best line, which is clearly "Sprechen sie talk?"

and in his selfish blundering is infinitely hateable,

though Bochner gives a tragic edge to his basic incompetence and short-sightedness.  His oily, low-rent hucksterism stands in sharp contrast to another man with a neatly trimmed beard and an expensive suit...



 #12. Alan Rickman as Hans Gruber, who imbues his villainy with a serpentine finesse.

In his film debut, Rickman very nearly owns the picture outright.

And even with everything else going on, his fake American accent in one memorable sequence is worth the price of admission alone.


#11.  Alexander Godunov.  With (literal) balletic grace, he's the key heavy to Rickman's mastermind.

I'd like to see his character battle Gary Busey's from LETHAL WEAPON.  It'd be a true face-off between blonde, secondary villains of clever late 80s Christmas action movies who survive the climax against all odds to rear their heads again and be gunned down at the last second by our white hero's black partner. Whew.


#10.  Andreas Wisniewski as Godunov's brother.

He couldn't look more German if he was wearing a black Kraftwerk turtleneck.  He kinda looks like Heino, actually. Good show, guy.


#9. Stuntman and 80s mainstay Al Leong.

He probably gets the least amount of screentime of any of the terrorists, but in this moment (when he sneaks a free candy bar pre-firefight) he becomes a legend.


#8.  The rest of the terrorists.  Most everyone looks like they're on the way back from a male modeling shoot,

or perhaps an audition to become members of Tangier.

I like the idea that Hans Gruber made everybody submit headshots to join his crew, and only accepted the ones who'd fit in on stage at Glam Hair Metal concert.  In fact, maybe his original plan was not taking over Nakatomi, but instead infiltrating a Europe concert, mid-"Final Countdown."


#7.  Media commentary.

About halfway through the film, the local TV crews become involved in this clusterfuck, and it begins to play out sort of like a mean-spirited MARY TYLER MOORE spin-off, with soulless anchors David Ursin (HALLOWEEN 5, SPACE JAM) and Mary Ellen Trainor (THE GOONIES, LETHAL WEAPON) sparring with selfish producer/field man William Atherton.



In the end, it's Atherton, one of the great pompous 80s villains (who between this and GHOSTBUSTERS was often harassed by fans who could not distinguish the man from the fiction), who really crosses the line in a moment of quiet drama involving an immigrant housekeeper.


These miniature dramas, often playing out on the periphery, give DIE HARD much of its pathos and contribute to a real 'lived-in' quality.


#6. Schwarzenegger shout-out.

Whether this is a nod to Arnold for appearing in McTiernan's PREDATOR, or an attempt to create a Willis vs. Schwarzenegger rivalry (á la the well-documented Schwarzenegger vs. Stallone one), I welcome it.


#5.  Agents Johnson and Johnson.


It's sort of a stupid gag, but who cares?  It's ubiquitous 80s action players Grand L. Bush and Robert Davi, doing their thing as conceited FBI blowhards.

Their finest moment plays out during a helicopter assault with Davi reliving 'Nam with Bush as his foil:





#4.  Creativity and guerrilla warfare.  Outnumbered and outgunned, Willis must resort to guerrilla tactics of invention, theatricality, and psychological impact.  The greatest of these is his classic "NOW I HAVE A MACHINE GUN HO-HO-HO" stagecraft,

though elsewhere he McGuyvers his way through a number of scenarios involving office furniture, computers,
paper towels, walkie-talkies, Playboy centerfolds, fire hoses, and the like.


#3. Speaking of walkie-talkies: the peculiar dynamics of communication.


Through the simple plot device of terrorists, cops, and McClane using the same frequency to communicate, de Souza orchestrates some of the most well-constructed scenarios in the film; Rickman communicating to his men without tipping off Willis and the cops, Willis trying to win the trust of cops on the ground without Rickman learning too much, and bungling municipal bureaucracy led by THE BREAKFAST CLUB's Paul Gleason,

playing the fictional embodiment of every frustrating, self-centered, tone-deaf boss who ever lived, trying (and failing) to sell his department's party line on the (walkie-talkie) party line.  All of this allows for expanding the scope of the story without undoing the essential claustrophobia of the premise.


#2.  Carl Winslow, er, I mean Sgt. Al Powell (Reginald VelJohnson).

From the moment we meet him (loading up on Twinkies and bullshitting with a convenience store employee), he's the film's moral core. He mostly plays an "audience member" to the carnage at Nakatomi, exuding pathos and support throughout, piecing together the story and characters, and processing it emotionally.  At the end, when the ordeal finally comes to a close and Willis' and VelJohnson's spheres physically intersect... why, it's movie magic!

Best friends!

#1.  The transformation. Time passes.  The human animal endures.  The scrapes and scratches and gouges multiply.  The number of cigarettes dwindles.

When we first meet John McClane, he's casual and confident.  His mind is focused on things like reconciliation and sleeping arrangements.  By the end, he's practically been through the TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE or DELIVERANCE.  He's bruised and damaged, lurching around like a Universal monster, nigh unrecognizable.

He's found his footing (no matter how bloody) and has endured.  The battered animal is brought back to Earth with the love of his wife and (new) best friend.  It's a Christmas miracle!


Five stars.  DIE HARD, ladies and gentlemen.  Merry Christmas!


––Sean Gill

Monday, December 21, 2015

Only now does it occur to me... CROSSWORLDS (1996)

Only now does it occur to me... that you all needed to see Rutger Hauer repelling mystical, trans-dimensional, early CGI force energy with his bare hands.

Keep up the good work!

Sunday, December 13, 2015

Only now does it occur to me... HITMAN'S RUN (1999)

"Lesser Lester" Week Continues:

Only now does it occur to me... that Richard Donner's ASSASSINS (1995, starring Stallone, Banderas, and Julianne Moore) was apparently enough of a 'thing' to inspire some imitators––including Mark L. Lester's HITMAN'S RUN.

Banderas in ASSASSINS....


...and Eric Roberts in HITMAN'S RUN.


Mostly notable for an evocative scene where Eric Roberts kills a man in a phone booth by running him over with a wood-paneled station wagon,



HITMAN'S RUN follows the exploits a former mafia assassin (Roberts) in the witness protection program who comes out of hiding for one last adventure involving hackers, floppy disks, CD-ROMs, skateboarding kids, stylish haircuts, late 90s sweaters, and lite John Woo-style gunplay.

"Give a guy a gun, he thinks he's Superman. Give him two and he thinks he's God."

Other major highlights include the bizarre and possibly improvised interactions between Roberts and his new wife (who knows not of his hitman past).  I mean, just look at this beautiful exchange:





Yes, it certainly does seem so much longer.  But Roberts is doing a decent job, and I appreciate the extra effort his haircut is making.


Hey, look, it's C. Thomas Howell!

There's always a peculiar melancholy whenever I see C. Thomas outside of the 1980s... like I'm a distant relative who expected the worst, but when I see him, I squeeze his shoulder and say really sincerely, "Oh, I'm so glad to see you're doing okay."  I feel like I should be sending him $25.00 checks for his birthday, is what I'm saying.


I also learned that a recordable CD has 650 megabytes of memory.

Er-–wait a second––who is that sweater-vest-wearin', faintly 90s subculture HACKERS émigré?  I know him from somewhere...  It's almost like I can see him, about to be paddled by a douchey Ben Affleck...

Yup, it's Esteban Powell, best known as Mitch's pal "Carl" from DAZED AND CONFUSED!

Not a lot has changed.

His major character trait in HITMAN'S RUN is that he says things like "Whoa-kay!" instead of "Okay," and I suppose that's fine.

In the end this is the kind of generic mafia flick that's sort of worth your time. It's certainly a "lesser" Lester––on the second-rate action scale, I'd put it somewhere between a Glickenhaus and a Pyun.  Most of it will depend on your tolerance for the less-than-selective Eric Roberts (according to IMDb, he has THIRTY-SEVEN films coming out in 2016!), as apparently not everyone is on the Roberts bandwagon.  I, conversely, am driving that bandwagon.  I realize that some of the joy of Eric Roberts is how terrible many of his films are, but I still contend that the man himself is one of the finest actors of his generation (see RUNAWAY TRAIN and STAR 80 back-to-back if you don't believe me), and even amid the direct-to-video dreck, little shards of his talent keep piercing through.

Tuesday, December 8, 2015

Only now does it occur to me... BETRAYAL (a.k.a. LADY JAYNE: KILLER) (2003)

To begin "Lesser Lester" week:

Only now does it occur to me... that although it ended as hilariously and disastrously as a television series possibly can, and though it peaked near its halfway mark thanks to brilliant performances by Jimmy Smits and John Lithgow... in the end, I'm glad that DEXTER happened... even if only for the reason that it saved James Remar from being buried in movies like BETRAYAL (a.k.a. LADY JAYNE: KILLER).

James Remar is glad, too, even though he doesn't look it.

I believe I have isolated the exact moment when James Remar decides to phone in his performance.  It is while he is being held at gunpoint by his scene partner; literally, and perhaps also metaphorically.

Said scene partner is Erika Eleniak (former Playboy Playmate, BAYWATCH cast member, and UNDER SIEGE cake-jumper) who––to be fair––is really doing her best.

Conversely, James Remar has thrown in the towel.  He stares emptily, past the despair, past the paycheck, past the art and the craft.  He spends most of the film driving around in a car and on the phone, a hallmark of "we only have so-and-so on set for X amount of hours"-style filmmaking.

Don't worry, James.  If you behave yourself, there's a cameo in an X-MEN movie in it for you.

In case you were wondering what LADY JAYNE: KILLER actually is, it's an early 2000s Cinemax-style actioner directed by genre master Mark L. Lester (COMMANDO, CLASS OF 1984).  I apologize for the glib assessment, but this is a fruitless, through the motions thriller that most likely involved tax write-offs.  Adam "Not-Alec's-Brother" Baldwin (FULL METAL JACKET, D.C. CAB) is in this thing, too. 
What I'm essentially saying is that instead, you should go watch COMMANDO for the thirtieth time.

Sunday, December 6, 2015

Lesser Lester Week

You probably know the work of two-fisted action master Mark L. Lester from films like COMMANDO, CLASS OF 1984, FIRESTARTER, and SHOWDOWN IN LITTLE TOKYO.

Lester explains to Arnold that the proper pronunciation of "Jenny" is actually "Chenny."

You may even have seen his talents on display in deeper cuts like ROLLER BOOGIE or EXTREME JUSTICE.  Well, we're not going to be discussing any of those.  This is lesser Lester week, so prepare yourself.

Wednesday, December 2, 2015

Only now does it occur to me... FLATBED ANNIE AND SWEETIEPIE: LADY TRUCKERS (1979)

Only now does it occur to me... that a full five years before he played one in the seminal REPO MAN, Harry Dean Stanton was already repossessing vehicles across the American West in FLATBED ANNIE AND SWEETIEPIE: LADY TRUCKERS!




It's unfortunate that this genre died out (do we blame MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE?), because these movies are all pleasant enough (see: HIGH-BALLIN', WHITE LINE FEVER, and the like) and usually deliver hearty doses of Americana bizarre-itude, zany high-speed chases, and blue collar Davids versus corporate Goliaths.

All of this, naturally, is accompanied by janglin', crawdaddyin' country grooves thicker than Burt Reynolds' chest hair and sweatier than Southern Fried Sleaze-o-Rama.  This particular film puts its own spin on the genre with lady truckers, played by DON'T BE AFRAID OF THE DARK's Kim Darby and CORVETTE SUMMER's Annie Potts.

When Darby's trucker husband (played by Fred Willard) is injured in the line of duty, she has to stay one step ahead of the repo men and joins forces with her best friend to keep the big rig runnin'.  That's pretty much the entire plot.  There's a lot of Harry Dean Stanton "slow burn"

set to banjo music, and I can really get behind that.  It's also notable for being the first and only film appearance of Billy Carter, full-time brother of then-President Jimmy Carter and part-time huckster of Billy Beer.
'
He's given the opportunity to smile a lot, which really plays to his strengths as a performer.  I love that there's a rich history of this sort of political gimmickry, including Roger Clinton's appearance in BIODOME.  But it's really too bad that Jeb Bush never appeared in something like, say... THE PAPERBOY.

 In the end, it's the sort of film where random men declare, "You are some kind of woman, Flatbed Annie!"
 
and it feels only natural. Amen.