Film Review: EXTREME PREJUDICE (1987, Walter Hill)

Stars: 5 of 5.
Running Time: 104 minutes.
Notable Cast or Crew: Written by John Milius, Fred Rexer, Deric Washburn, and Harry Kleiner. Starring Nick Nolte, Powers Boothe, Rip Torn, Michael Ironside (TOTAL RECALL, SCANNERS), William Forsythe (PATTY HEARST, THE ROCK), Clancy Brown (HIGHLANDER, LOST), Matt Mulhern (BILOXI BLUES), Larry B. Scott (THE KARATE KID, IRON EAGLE, REVENGE OF THE NERDS), Dan Tullis Jr. (UNDER THE GUN, MARRIED WITH CHILDREN), Tiny Lister (BEVERLY HILLS COP II, 9 1/2 NINJAS), Mickey Jones (Bob Dylan's drummer), Maria Conchita Alonso.
Tag-lines: "An army of forgotten heroes, all officially dead. They live for combat. Now they've met the wrong man."
Best one-liner: "Música! and make it sweet, goddammit, or I'll shoot the band!"

Before you stick this thing in your player, I want you to mark out an 8 foot radius around your TV set. Then I want you to make sure there's nothing in that zone that you wouldn't mind having 40 gallons of testosterone poured over. EXTREME PREJUDICE has been proven to make wombs shrivel and has turned the frilliest of ladies quite husky; it makes men stumble, confused, into the street with a mysterious desire to chomp on cigars and arm wrestle. It's robust, potent, severe, and is completely safe when used as directed.

It's about men staring at men staring at men.

The ensemble cast possesses a dangerous volatility that borders on the atomic:

we got Powers Boothe crushing scorpions with his bare hands and calling people "shitheel,"


we got quasi-hick Bill Forsythe skewering rats on a hunting knife,


we got Michael Ironside correcting us in our misconception that the scariest face to ever wear a nylon stocking was Willem Dafoe's in WILD AT HEART,

Well, I guess this question's still up in the air.

we got Rip Torn as a drawlin' sheriff spoutin' aphorisms like "the only thing worse than a politician is a child molester,"

we got Clancy Brown as a man so stern that I think he's the original form in Plato's cave for "No Nonsense,"


and we got Nick Nolte as a Ranger whose tolerance for "bureaucratic fatasses fluffin' their duff" is- that's right- ZERO.

And the only woman of any note, Maria Conchita Alonso, is HOT. And I mean that quite literally: she's kept well-steamed, sweaty, and safely objectified for the duration via contrivances such as showers and non-air conditioned bars.

Everyone in this movie is sweaty.

She's one of those women who wants to "talk" with her man, Nolte. Talk?! Screw that. He doesn't even know what that means. Writer John Milius' reactionary political views are at first offensive, then charming, and finally just 'stand back and let the gringos kill each other.' Limbs are blown off, bombs are hidden in cute little rabbits, and the inspiration for BULLETPROOF has never been more apparent (adding more fuel to the Busey/Nolte fire). Kill 'em all, let God sort 'em out, and give this thing five stars.

-Sean Gill

Film Review: MADIGAN (1968, Don Siegel)

Stars: 4 of 5.
Running Time: 101 minutes.
Notable Cast or Crew: Richard Widmark, Henry Fonda, Harry Guardino, Inger Stevens, James Whitmore.
Tag-lines: "If Detective Madigan kept his eyes on the killer instead of the broad..."
Best one-liner: "MAADIGAN!"

MADIGAN. What a great title. What a great name. What a great word to roar to the heavens in frustration- "MAAADIGAN!!" But on to the film: Don Siegel pulls no punches. He doesn't even know what that means. Probably thinks it means “punch harder.” That being said, MADIGAN is a fairly low-key movie. It's a movie of contrasts- public and private lives; jobs behind desks and on the mean streets; working class joes and upper-crust snobs; roughing a guy up in an alley and attending a gala in a tux.

Richard Widmark (PICKUP ON SOUTH STREET) and Harry Guardino (DIRTY HARRY), two tough cops who tackle moral quandaries with a sort of mean desperation written on their fists, represent the more sordid side of the coin. On the spick-and-span side is commissioner Henry Fonda, who tackles similar quandaries, only with his law books and cerebrum.

But despite all of these juxtapositions, not a moment in the film can be viewed in black-and-white terms. Siegel's not afraid to present our heroes threatening an old lady by nearly crushing her with a desk (see also: THE KILLERS), show a progressively diverse police force, or depict the complexities of infidelity and race relations. And he's not afraid to stage an ending that'll rip the guts out of you. (One can see his uncompromising legacy in the muted Euro-noir of Jean Pierre Melville and the brutally contemplative Yakuza flicks of Takeshi Kitano.) Widmark's up to his slimily endearing old tricks, punching out a guy in a bar and telling him to "sit down and drink your milk," bein' an all-around smooth operator, and doing a bit of the elderly-terrorizing I referred to earlier (perhaps in a nod to his notorious 'wheelchair down the stairs' scene in KISS OF DEATH?).

My only complaint is the nauseatingly cheerful score by Don Costa (who is NO Lalo Schifrin). Overall, MADIGAN's not for everyone: if you want nonstop slam-bang-pop, you came to the wrong place. But for those in need of a thoughtful policier, look no further.

-Sean Gill

Film Review: TELEFON (1977, Don Siegel)

Stars: 4 of 5.
Running Time: 102 minutes.
Notable Cast or Crew: Charles Bronson, Donald Pleasence, Lee Remick (THE OMEN), Tyne Daly (THE ENFORCER), Patrick Magee (CLOCKWORK ORANGE), John Mitchum (DIRTY HARRY, Bob's brother), Robert Phillips (THE KILLERS, THE DIRTY DOZEN), music by Lalo Schifrin.
Tag-lines: "They'll do anything to stop... TELEFON. The operation that can trigger 51 human time bombs!" From the trailer: "The next time your phone rings, how do you know it won't be YOUR turn? You'll never know... until you see...."
Best one-liner: "The woods are lovely, dark, and deep, but I have promises to keep. And miles to go before I sleep, and miles to go before I sleep. Remember. Miles to go before I sleep."

TELEFON makes good on the promise inherent in its title: it is full of telephones. It's a high-tech thrill ride from an era when using a dot matrix printer was a high-tech thrill ride, and that is my favorite kind of high-tech thrill ride.

The plot is this: a Soviet madman (a bug-eyed Donald Pleasence, nefariously lurking in the shadows) decides to unleash the top secret program TELEFON. It's full of agents so deep undercover, they don't even know they're agents- until someone recites a Robert Frost poem (printed above under 'best one-liner') which transforms them into automotons who commit ridiculous acts of sabotage. Wanting to avoid World War III, Patrick Magee (doing some SERIOUS eyebrow indicating)

Magee: always understated.

sends in the KGB's top man- Bronson– to shut Pleasence down. Which means Bronson's gonna be 'undercover' in the USA for the majority of the movie, which means that he only has to do a Russian accent for his very first scene (in Russia), which is a real good thing for all involved.

Bronson classes up Moscow significantly.

Don Siegel directs TELEFON with a sort of playful flair that begins with the very first credit- the hand-scrawled declaration of "A Siegel Film." Compared to his 1973 film, CHARLEY VARRICK (which admittedly at times did possess a certain dark humor), TELEFON is downright lighthearted. With all of its imposing modern edifices, bold primary colors, bureaucractic comic relief, and creative critique of modern communications, one almost gets the idea that this is what it would be like if Jacques Tati were ever to direct an action film. But Siegel facetiously delivers on all of the necessary tropes: Parking deck shootout? Check. Cars blowing up? Check. A patient being assassinated in a hospital? Check. Computers that constantly tell you the probability of events happening? Check. Explosions? Check, check, and check. And Lalo Schifrin puts together a pretty bumpin' 70's soundtrack (much like his work on DIRTY HARRY) to accentuate all of this cross-country spy madness.

Now this was the only feature film collaboration between Siegel and Bronson, and it's a shame there weren't more (though Bronson appeared as a "Thug" in the Siegel-directed pilot episode of 1954's THE LINEUP, and Siegel produced the 1966 show THE LEGEND OF JESSE JAMES, an episode of which featured Bronson). Maybe it had to do with the (possibly imaginary) Bronson vs. Eastwood rivalry (which I intend to do a full write-up on, soon) and the fact that Eastwood was Siegel's usual go-to guy. Rumor has it that Siegel was insistent on Bronson shaving off his mustache for the film. Bronson's retort was, "No mustache, no Bronson." And Siegel's got Bronson tooling around here with a .357 Magnum- Dirty Harry's gun. It's hard to tell if Bronson resents it or not. Or if maybe his character, Major Grigori Borzov, resents it. Or, maybe Borzov's undercover "acting" persona, the American 'Greg,' resents it. There are a lot of layers to this performance.

Bronson charms a lady with effortless wit and pizzaz.

There is some hilarious Cold War dialogue here, and I'm pretty sure it's intentionally tongue-in-cheek. During a harrowing scenario: Soviet #1: "God help us." Soviet #2: –"God?" Wowww. Later, a Russian agent enters a shitty motel room and wryly observes "What we do in the name of socialism!" And it's mind-blowing when we find out the method for the order by which Pleasence is picking the sleeper agents off of the 50-person list– he's spelling out his own name via the first letter of each agent's hometown. Not only is it head-scratchingly absurd (and reminiscent of TWIN PEAKS' Killer BOB and his fingernail messages), but it leads to an incredulous Bronson exclaiming in that unnerving fashion of his (see "It's MY CAR!" from DEATH WISH 3) that "He's writing his name across the country!"



Bronson vs. Pleasence.

This all leads up to a finale that involves, and I shit you not: a honky-tonk Texas bar, Charles Bronson, Donald Pleasence, some Texas rangers, a player piano, strangulation, a cyanide capsule, and a rattlesnake getting its head blown off in slow motion. All of these things converge in under five minutes, and I'd be lying if I said it wasn't amazing.


The rattlesnake explodes.

Yet another brilliant film from Don Siegel (and thus more fodder for Tarantino– note his repeated use of the same Frost poem in DEATH PROOF; also see: CHARLEY VARRICK's influence on PULP FICTION), and yet another solid Bronson actioneer. It hits just the right notes, and somehow manages to turn a Cold War paranoia piece into a vague exercise in cheerful cultural healing. Bravo, Mr. Siegel.

-Sean Gill

Film Review: THE BUDDY HOLLY STORY (1978, Steve Rash)

Stars: 4.5 of 5.
Running Time: 113 minutes.
Notable Cast or Crew: Gary Busey, Charles Martin Smith, Don Stroud, Maria Richwine, Dick O'Neill.
Tag-lines: "Music never felt this good."

There was a time when Gary Busey wasn't completely bonkers, and there was also a time when biopics of musicians didn't have to be emotionally manipulative, needlessly glossy, and ultimately soulless. That time evidently was the late 70's, as, along with John Carpenter's ELVIS, I would place Steve Rash's THE BUDDY HOLLY STORY at the top of the heap. Filmed mostly in one or two takes and with the actors performing the music themselves, the film thusly possesses a sort of kitchen sink realism, an in-the-moment eccentricity, and an overall degree of connectedness that befits the music, the man, and the cultural movement. Busey, a musician himself, shows off his acting chops, his charismatic voice, and his toothy grin in a performance that's as likable as it is nuanced.



(And you have to love that Busey's Oscar nomination for this film ensures that he'll forever be invited to the ceremony despite being something of a persona non grata. No matter what mind-boggling red carpet antics he pulled the year before, Gary'll be there.)

This is pre-motorcycle wreck, pre-coke addiction, pre-'butt-horn' Busey. And yet he's still a littttle bit nutty, saying things like "Boolah boolah" and "I'll change my name to Chihuahua Garbanzo," which clearly strike the seasoned ear as Busey improvisations.

As the Crickets, Charles Martin Smith (Toad in AMERICAN GRAFFITI) and Don Stroud (COOGAN'S BLUFF, JOE KIDD) are excellent, alternating between sweet loyalty and overshadowed frustration. Ultimately, THE BUDDY HOLLY STORY succeeds as a sobering glimpse at the transience of the human condition AND as a feel-good success narrative. (Though, indeed, Buddy's tragic death can hang like a shroud over even the most light-hearted of moments.) The filmmakers choose the perfect point at which to end our story, however, and it carries all the weight it should, yet does not rub our faces in the tragedy, making for a picture which truly resonates beyond the closing credits. Four and a half stars.


-Sean Gill

Film Review: INTRUDER (1989, Scott Spiegel)

Stars: 3 of 5.
Running Time: 88 minutes.
Notable Cast or Crew: Elizabeth Cox (marketing said "Elizabeth Cox of SIXTEEN CANDLES!" but she was an uncredited high-schooler extra. Also in NIGHT OF THE CREEPS), Sam Raimi, Ted Raimi, Lawrence Bender, Bruce Campbell, Renee Estevez (SLEEPAWAY CAMP II, HEATHERS), Dan Hicks (EVIL DEAD II, DARKMAN).
Tag-lines: "If this one does not scare you, you're already dead!" and "A new dimension in terror." What? The trailer uses all sorts of stuff about "slashing prices" and "checking out."
Best one-liner: "I'm just crazy about this store!"

From Scott Spiegel (a Raimi crony) and Lawrence Bender (Tarantino's producer) comes INTRUDER, a serviceable late 80's slasher that thrives on clichés, minimum wage malaise, and creative gore FX by a young Greg Nicotero. It's not a great film, nor is it an exceptionally good one, yet, for all intents and purposes, it ought to leave the discerning 80's horror fan well-sated. The milieu will be all-too-familiar to the cross-section of the population who has ever had to suffer the horror of working at a grocery store (be it bagging, cashiering, meat, produce, or night stock).

The grocery store offers a special, contemptible form of ennui, punctuated by nagging customers, exploitative superiors, and the occasional murderous thought. But while the setting and acting are decidedly American in flavor, the style is exquisitely European.

The cinematography by Spaniard Fernando Argüelles (WALKER, TEXAS RANGER) hilariously subscribes to the Giallo school of thought, whereupon the more ridiculous a POV shot can be, the better. (See: Argento's POVs of butterflies, a drain, an ominous wind, etc.) Here, we're entreated to POV shots of a telephone as it's being dialed, a mop sloshing around in a bucket, an upended lamp as blood drips onto the bulb, a trash can, the bread rack, the floor, etc.

There's inventive, shocking imagery; cameos by the Raimis and Bruce Campbell;

a clichéd soundtrack full of crashing piano crescendos and loopy strings; and the villain (who at one point delivers a beating using a decapitated head as a bludgeon) is surprisingly awesome, so we do a little bit better than okay. Still, it lacks that truly masterful, artistic, or spit-take inducing element that would push it over the edge and make it a classic. I'd put it on par with APRIL FOOL'S DAY or CUTTING CLASS. Three stars.

-Sean Gill

Film Review: SATURN 3 (1980, Stanley Donen)

Stars: 2 of 5.
Running Time: 87 minutes.
Notable Cast or Crew: Kirk Douglas, Harvey Keitel, Farrah Fawcett. Written by novelist Martin Amis. Soundtrack by Elmer Bernstein.
Tag-lines: "Trapped between unnatural love and inhuman desire."
Best exchange: Keitel: "I wish you would talk! You know you can; why won't you talk?" Robot: –NOT YET READY Keitel: "Why not? What have I done wrong?" Robot: –MURDER Keitel: "Not that! Blank that; that's not what I meant." Robot: –BLANKED AS ORDERED Keitel: "That was an improper thought leakage. What have I done wrong?" Robot: –YOU FAILED COURSE Keitel: "Don't get smart." Robot: –WHAT SHALL I GET

THE BLACK HOLE + DEMON SEED + a bunch of pretentious ideas = an excruciating 87 minutes of a troubled production that smacks of 'made for TV.' The plot is this: a bored, sociopathic Harvey Keitel (with a ratty little ponytail) comes to Saturn 3 to interrupt the Utopian existence of a geriatric Kirk Douglas and wide-eyed Farrah Fawcett. Keitel brings a robot with him (which they call a "Roh-butt" á la the Professor in ROBOT MONSTER)

and all hell breaks loose. Director Stanley Donen (SINGIN' IN THE RAIN) misuses each of his primaries:

Keitel says everything in monotone (he seems to be dubbed). His "crazed scientist" is extraordinarily lethargic. He doesn't moan or cry or get naked, or even half-naked, all of which are key markers for how much Keitel cares about a project. Kirk Douglas is naked more often than Harvey Keitel; consider that.

The real Keitel only shines through for a fleeting, horrifying moment where he insinuates he's eaten dog and asks Fawcett: "Yes, you have a great body...may I use it?"

"May I use it?"

Kirk Douglas is similarly bland, though you must read Martin Amis' Money for a full accounting of what that entailed, behind the scenes.



Gotta love promotional stills. "Kirk, can you hold it a little higher? No- nah- alright, that's it. ...No, look more pained. But like you're in danger, too. But you have a hardened resolve. Aw, shit, your costume's falling apart."

There's unexpected (laughable) gore, rub-on tattoos, special effects that look more like SPACE ACADEMY than STAR WARS (despite a similar budget), and a soundtrack that can't make up it's mind whether it's going to be serious and orchestral or something noodlin', 70s, and heavy on the tambourine. The whole thing's about as enlightening as talking to Dr. Sbaitso.

So, SATURN 3, what do you have to say in your defense? Ohhh, I see. So you were trying to work in some 'Garden of Eden' symbolism and some Greek mythology and some weak commentary on pollution and drug culture? Alright, I take it all back. Five stars.
...Jussst kiddin'.

Updated, Browsable List of All Reviews, August '09

#
7 DAYS IN MAY (1964, John Frankenheimer)
52 PICK-UP (1986, John Frankenheimer)

A
ACTION JACKSON (1988, Craig R. Baxley)
ALL THAT JAZZ (1979, Bob Fosse)
APPALOOSA (2008, Ed Harris)
APRIL FOOL'S DAY (1986, Fred Walton)

B
BALTIKA EXTRA 9 (2008, Russia)
BATTLE IN HEAVEN (2005, Carlos Reygadas)
BEAT STREET (1984, Stan Lathan)
BEST WORST MOVIE (2009, Michael Stephenson)
BIG BLOW (2000, United States)
THE BIRD WITH THE CRYSTAL PLUMAGE (1970, Dario Argento)
THE BLACK CAT (2007, Stuart Gordon)
BLUE COLLAR (1978, Paul Schrader)
THE BLOB (1988, Chuck Russell)
BLOOD WORK (2002, Clint Eastwood)
BOARDING GATE (2008, Olivier Assayas)
BODY PARTS (1991, Eric Red)
BOXING HELENA (1993, Jennifer Chambers Lynch)
BROKEN ARROW (1996, John Woo)
BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER (1992, Fran Rubel Kazui)
BULLETPROOF (1988, Steve Carver)

C
CANDYMAN (1992, Bernard Rose)
CASTLE FREAK (1995, Stuart Gordon)
CHAMPAGNE COLA (2009, United States)
CHOPPING MALL (1986, Jim Wynorski)
CLASS OF 1984 (1982, Mark L. Lester)
COFFY (1973, Jack Hill)
COPYING BEETHOVEN (2006, Agnieszka Holland)
CRITTERS (1986, Stephen Herek)
CRITTERS 2: THE MAIN COURSE (1988, Mick Garris)
CRITTERS 3: YOU ARE WHAT THEY EAT (1991, Kristine Peterson)
CRITTERS 4: THEY'RE INVADING YOUR SPACE (1991, Rupert Harvey)
CUTTER'S WAY (1981, Ivan Passer)

D
DAGON (2001, Stuart Gordon)
THE DARK CRYSTAL (1982, Jim Henson & Frank Oz)
DEAD & BURIED (1981, Gary Sherman)
DEAD HEAT (1988, Mark Goldblatt)
DEAD LIKE ME: LIFE AFTER DEATH (2009, Stephen Herek)
THE DEAD POOL (1988, Buddy van Horn)
DEADBEAT AT DAWN (1988, Jim van Bebber)
DEADLY WEAPONS (1974, Doris Wishman)
DEATH WISH (1974, Michael Winner)
DEATH WISH II (1982, Michael Winner)
DEATH WISH 3 (1985, Michael Winner)
DEEP RED (1975, Dario Argento)
DEMONS 2 (1986, Lamberto Bava)
DIRTY HARRY (1971, Don Siegel)

E
THE EARRINGS OF MADAME DE... (1953, Max Ophüls)
EATING RAOUL (1982, Paul Bartel)
ENCYCLOPEDIA BRITANNICA PROCUREMENT (2009, United States)
ENTER THE NINJA (1981, Menahem Golan)
ESCAPE FROM L.A. (1996, John Carpenter)
ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK (1981, John Carpenter)
EUREKA (1983, Nicolas Roeg)
EXOTICA (1994, Atom Egoyan)

F
FACE/OFF (1997, John Woo)
FAREWELL, MY LOVELY (1975, Dick Richards)
FAST FORWARD (1985, Sidney Poitier)
FEAST II: SLOPPY SECONDS (2008, John Gulager)
FEAST III: THE HAPPY FINISH (2009, John Gulager)
FIRESTARTER (1984, Mark Lester)
FIREWALKER (1986, J. Lee Thompson)
FLASHDANCE (1983, Adrian Lyne)
FLESHBURN (1984, George Gage)
FOXY BROWN (1974, Jack Hill)
FREDDY VS. JASON (2003, Ronny Yu)
FRIDAY THE 13TH PART VIII: JASON TAKES MANHATTAN (1989, Rob Hedden)
THE FRIENDS OF EDDIE COYLE (1973, Peter Yates)
FROM A WHISPER TO A SCREAM (1987, Jeff Burr)
FROZEN RIVER (2008, Courtney Hunt)

G
GHOULIES III: GHOULIES GO TO COLLEGE (1991, John Carl Buechler)
A GIRL CUT IN TWO (2008, Claude Chabrol)
GRAN TORINO (2008, Clint Eastwood)

H
HANG 'EM HIGH (1968, Ted Post)
HAPPY-GO-LUCKY (2008, Mike Leigh)
HARD RAIN (1998, Mikael Salomon)
HEARTBREAK RIDGE (1986, Clint Eastwood)
HELLBOUND (1994, Aaron Norris)
HIGH SPIRITS (1988, Neil Jordan)
THE HIT (1984, Stephen Frears)
HOMECOMING (2005, Joe Dante)
HOOPER (1978, Hal Needham)
THE HOUSE ON HAUNTED HILL (1959, William Castle)
HOUSE III: THE HORROR SHOW (1989, James Isaac)

I
INFERNO (1980, Dario Argento)
INTRUDER (1989, Scott Spiegel)
IRISH POTCHEEN (2006, Ireland)

J

K
KEOMA (1976, Enzo G. Castellari)

L
THE LAST DETAIL (1973, Hal Ashby)
THE LAST SHARK (1981, Enzo G. Castellari)
LEATHERFACE: THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE 3 (1990, Jeff Burr)
THE LETTER PEOPLE, EPISODE 1- MEET MR M (1974, Elayne Reiss-Weimann & Rita Friedman)
LIFE AT THE OUTPOST (1979, Skatt Bros.)
LONE WOLF MCQUADE (1983, Steve Carver)

M
MACSHAYNE: WINNER TAKES ALL (1994, E.W. Swackhamer)
MAN ON WIRE (2008, James Marsh)
MANHUNTER (1986, Michael Mann)
MANIAC! (1980, William Lustig)
MARY (2008, Abel Ferrara)
MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE (1986, Stephen King)
METROPOLITAN (1990, Whit Stillman)
MISSION TO MARS (2000, Brian de Palma)
MISTER LONELY (2008, Harmony Korine)
MODESTY BLAISE (1966, Joseph Losey)
MR. MAJESTYK (1974, Richard Fleischer)
MURDER ROCK (1984, Lucio Fulci)
MY OWN WORST ENEMY (2008, Jason Smilovic)
MY WINNIPEG (2008, Guy Maddin)

N
THE NAME OF THE ROSE (1986, Jean-Jacques Annaud)
THE NEVERENDING STORY II: THE NEXT CHAPTER (1990, George Miller)
NIGHT MOVES (1975, Arthur Penn)
A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET 5: THE DREAM CHILD (1989, Stephen Hopkins)

O
THE OCTAGON (1980, Eric Karson)

P
THE PARK IS MINE! (1986, Steven Hilliard Stern)
PATTY HEARST (1988, Paul Schrader)
PICKUP ON SOUTH STREET (1953, Sam Fuller)
PIRANHA II: THE SPAWNING (1981, James Cameron)
THE PIRATE MOVIE (1982, Ken Annakin)
PLANET OF THE VAMPIRES (1965, Mario Bava)
PREDATOR 2 (1990, Stephen Hopkins)
PRINCE OF DARKNESS (1987, John Carpenter)
THE PRINCE OF PENNSYLVANIA (1988, Ron Nyswaner)
PUMP UP THE VOLUME (1990, Allan Moyle)

Q
Q & A (1990, Sidney Lumet)

R
THE RAGE (1997, Sidney J. Furie)
RAGING BULL (1980, Martin Scorsese)
RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK (1981, Steven Spielberg)
RAMBO: FIRST BLOOD PART II (1985, George Cosmatos)
RAMBO III (1988, Peter MacDonald)
RAMBO IV (2008, Sylvester Stallone)
REAL COTTON CANDY (????, United States)
RED DRAGON (2002, Brett Ratner)
THE RESURRECTED (1992, Dan O'Bannon)
RHINESTONE (1984, Bob Clark)
ROADGAMES (1981, Richard Franklin)
ROADIE (1980, Alan Rudolph)
ROBOT JOX (1990, Stuart Gordon)
ROCK 'N ROLL HIGH SCHOOL (1979, Joe Dante & Allan Arkush)
ROCK 'N ROLL NIGHTMARE (1987, John Fasano)
ROLLER BOOGIE (1979, Mark L. Lester)
RYAN'S DAUGHTER (1970, David Lean)

S
SALSA (1988, Boaz Davidson)
SATURN 3 (1980, Stanley Donen)
SAVAGE STREETS (1984, Danny Steinmann)
SCREAMERS (1995, Christian Duguay)
SEINE GROSSE ERFOLGE (1969, Heino)
THE SERPENT AND THE RAINBOW (1988, Wes Craven)
SEVEN DAYS IN MAY (1964, John Frankenheimer)
SHARKY'S MACHINE (1981, Burt Reynolds)
THE SHOOTIST (1976, Don Siegel)
SILENT LIGHT (2007, Carlos Reygadas)
THE SILENT WORLD (1956, Jacques Cousteau & Louis Malle)
SILVER BULLET (1985, Daniel Attias)
SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE (2008, Danny Boyle)
SOUTHERN COMFORT (1981, Walter Hill)
SPIDER BABY (1964, Jack Hill)
ST. IDES MALT LIQUOR JINGLE (1992, Ice Cube)
THE STAND (1994, Mick Garris)
STAR CRYSTAL (1985, Lance Lindsay)
STEPFATHER 2: MAKE ROOM FOR DADDY (1989, Jeff Burr)
STRAIT-JACKET (1964, William Castle)
STROKER ACE (1983, Hal Needham)
STUCK (2008, Stuart Gordon)
THE STUFF (1985, Larry Cohen)
THE SUBSTITUTE (1996, Robert Mandel)
SURVIVAL QUEST (1989, Don Coscarelli)
SUSPIRIA (1977, Dario Argento)
SWING SHIFT (1984, Jonathan Demme)
SWITCHBLADE SISTERS (1975, Jack Hill)

T
THE TAKING OF POWER BY LOUIS XIV (1966, Roberto Rossellini)
THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE (1974, Tobe Hooper)
THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE 2 (1986, Tobe Hooper)
THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE 3 (1990, Jeff Burr)
THE THIRD MIRACLE (1999, Agnieszka Holland)
THUNDER ROAD (1958, Arthur Ripley)
THE TINGLER (1959, William Castle)
TOMBSTONE (1993, "George Cosmatos" & Kurt Russell)
TOTAL RECALL (1990, Paul Verhoeven)
TRANCERS (1985, Charles Band)
TRON (1982, Steven Lisberger)
TROUBLE THE WATER (2008, "Tia Lessin & Carl Deal")
TUAREG: THE DESERT WARRIOR (1984, Enzo G. Castellari)
TWINS (1988, Ivan Reitman)

U
UNDER SIEGE (1992, Andrew Davis)

V
VAMPIRE'S KISS (1988, Robert Bierman)

W
W. (2008, Oliver Stone)
THE WANDERERS (1979, Philip Kaufman)
WAXWORK (1988, Anthony Hickox)
WEEKEND AT BERNIE'S (1989, Ted Kotcheff)
WHITE DOG (1982, Sam Fuller)
WHITE HUNTER, BLACK HEART (1990, Clint Eastwood)
THE WILD ONE (1953, Laslo Benedek)
THE WILLIES (1991, Brian Peck)
WINNING (1969, James Goldstone)
THE WIZARD (1989, Todd Holland)
THE WORST WITCH (1986, Robert Young)
THE WRESTLER (2008, Darren Aronofsky)

X
Y

Z
ZIP ZAP RAP (1986, Devastatin' Dave the Turntable Slave)

Film Review: BEST WORST MOVIE (2009, Michael Stephenson)

Stars: 4 of 5.
Running Time: 93 minutes.
Notable Cast or Crew: George Hardy, Margo Prey, Robert Ormsby, Claudio Fragasso, Darren Ewing, Connie Young.
Viewed at: Rooftop Films' screening on Friday, July 31st in Brooklyn.

The bad filmmaking gods smiled down upon Claudio Fragasso and his cast of American misfits in 1990, and TROLL 2 has- nearly twenty years later- reached a truly iconic status. BEST WORST MOVIE, directed by Michael "They're eating my Mom- AAAAHH!" Stephenson, chronicles the cult phenomenon as well as the present-day lives of many of those involved. And it's in turns hilarious, devastating, weird, sad, sweet, and spit-take inducing.

George "You can't piss on hospitality!" Hardy is a dynamo; so elated to be a piece of bad movie history that he becomes this movie's feel-good core.

Robert "Goblins still exist! Your Grandpa Seth is telling you!" Ormsby is charming and candid, but is sadly selling himself short if he truly believes he's led a wasted life. Connie "He'd cut off your lit-tle nuts and eat-them" Young makes some difficult self-assessments and removes TROLL 2 from her resumé. (But does ICE SPIDERS make it on there?) Margo "Come on, sing that song I like so much!" Prey provides a sobering detour for the film, as she seems to live her life in a disquieting state of limbo amongst lost dreams, fatiguing responsibilities, and perhaps even mental illness.

Several other actors and original filmmakers make appearances, but a few of them are so choice and brief that I shan't spoil them here.

But stealing the show is director Claudio Fragasso, whose intense, easily pissed-off countenance provided TROLL 2's sincerity (and most of the comedy here).

When actors joke about TROLL 2 at a Q&A, Fragasso labels them ungrateful, bullshit-spewing "dogs." Any irony whatsoever seems lost on Fragasso, king of plagiaristic Italo-trash (and maker of such 'unofficial sequels' as TROLL 2, TERMINATOR II- SHOCKING DARK, EVIL DEAD 5, and TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE 3. Also see MONSTER DOG, starring Alice Cooper, and featuring both pissing and mention of hospitality). There should be a TV show following this guy around. It could be the next I'M WITH BUSEY.

BEST WORST MOVIE is at its best when it's surreally reenacting scenes from TROLL 2 at original locations ( á la LITTLE DIETER NEEDS TO FLY), and at its worst when it drags a bit (it could be a little tighter, especially near the end), but overall, it's a fitting tribute to the squad of eccentrics, weirdos, and regular folks who assembled one of the most insane films in the history of the medium.

Odd side note: at the Q&A, Michael Stephenson denied having seen any other Fragasso films and failed to mention that he starred in Fragasso's LA CASA 5 (also known as BEYOND DARKNESS and EVIL DEAD 5). It seems odd that the film or Stephenson would make no mention of this, as it's a key role in the same vein as his TROLL 2 role (a nearly constantly screaming, grating child). I've even got the proof:


-Sean Gill